Hi everyone,
I wanted to share my toughts and feelings with other Aspies in order to understand and to accept my own situation more.
I had a relationship with an Aspie for 1 year. We know eachother since we were 16 years old. In that time, we both felt some different feelings for eachother but we couldnt place it. Than we had a time that we did not had contact for 2 years I think. I always had special feelings for him and I always saw him as a good "friend". Than we started to see eachother, everything was going so fast because of our strong feelings, and in that time he found out that he was an Aspie. He broke up the "relationship" we had, and told me that he wanted some time. For me it was something very serious and I loved him so much already then. I could not accept it to slow down after all our sharings and intimacy. It took me two years after that to get over with it, it did not work, the moment i started to see someone else, I was thinking of him. I started to send him messages that i missed him and that it was not "nothing" for me what we had. We talked for 4 months, but very careful. In that time i had to on exchange so he began to show distance. In the 4 months we spoke, he told me that he had the diagnose of Asperger, it was very relieving for me to undestand everything i was going through and to understand his reactions. But then, he did the same, he told me that he didnt love me.
When i was on exchange, HE contacted me! He wanted to visit me and he wrote me a letter with all his feelings. When we met in that time, he could not stop crying and for me this was very special because I knew that not every aspie can express himself so openly.
We started our relationship and he told me that it would be very difficult, but worrth it to stay together, he told me that of never letting him go, even when he wanted to leave. A couple of months later, we engaged and planned our marriage. 3 months after our engagement, it began.. We had discussions almost every day. He had some serious trust issues. He never trusted me and i can relate this to the fact that his father was not loyal to his mother. I never stopped giving in the relationship and for a period he also gave everything, but after a while he started to be very stern/strict. I had to be the person to give everything he wanted, because i always had the fear that he would leave me if i did not give him what he wanted. I could not take it anymore, for my own feelings, he was never satisfied with me. He was getting angry on everything i did, i felt that he was looking for a way to end this relationship, so i gave him the opportunity and said this wont work if he was acting like this all the time. It ended, after we broke up, he did not stop texting me and started to ask me why im acting like he s a stranger (??) He confused me a lot, i told him that i never wanted to break up but wanted to show him that i could not take it anymore this way. Two months after our break-up he told me that he wants to fight for us. And give everything, but then..1 day later we had a discussion and after that..slowly...he was not 'there' anymore. I was so happy that he wanted to fight, but then he was gone again.
Now, I haven't spoke to him already for 2 months. I know that he still loves me and I also love him so much. I feel like missing him every day more and more. I just don't know how to handle this situation and how to accept that it is over. It is not really that I have a question to y'all but maybe an idea for me how to accept everything.
Thank you for reading and listening.
I wanted to share my toughts and feelings with other Aspies in order to understand and to accept my own situation more.
I had a relationship with an Aspie for 1 year. We know eachother since we were 16 years old. In that time, we both felt some different feelings for eachother but we couldnt place it. Than we had a time that we did not had contact for 2 years I think. I always had special feelings for him and I always saw him as a good "friend". Than we started to see eachother, everything was going so fast because of our strong feelings, and in that time he found out that he was an Aspie. He broke up the "relationship" we had, and told me that he wanted some time. For me it was something very serious and I loved him so much already then. I could not accept it to slow down after all our sharings and intimacy. It took me two years after that to get over with it, it did not work, the moment i started to see someone else, I was thinking of him. I started to send him messages that i missed him and that it was not "nothing" for me what we had. We talked for 4 months, but very careful. In that time i had to on exchange so he began to show distance. In the 4 months we spoke, he told me that he had the diagnose of Asperger, it was very relieving for me to undestand everything i was going through and to understand his reactions. But then, he did the same, he told me that he didnt love me.
When i was on exchange, HE contacted me! He wanted to visit me and he wrote me a letter with all his feelings. When we met in that time, he could not stop crying and for me this was very special because I knew that not every aspie can express himself so openly.
We started our relationship and he told me that it would be very difficult, but worrth it to stay together, he told me that of never letting him go, even when he wanted to leave. A couple of months later, we engaged and planned our marriage. 3 months after our engagement, it began.. We had discussions almost every day. He had some serious trust issues. He never trusted me and i can relate this to the fact that his father was not loyal to his mother. I never stopped giving in the relationship and for a period he also gave everything, but after a while he started to be very stern/strict. I had to be the person to give everything he wanted, because i always had the fear that he would leave me if i did not give him what he wanted. I could not take it anymore, for my own feelings, he was never satisfied with me. He was getting angry on everything i did, i felt that he was looking for a way to end this relationship, so i gave him the opportunity and said this wont work if he was acting like this all the time. It ended, after we broke up, he did not stop texting me and started to ask me why im acting like he s a stranger (??) He confused me a lot, i told him that i never wanted to break up but wanted to show him that i could not take it anymore this way. Two months after our break-up he told me that he wants to fight for us. And give everything, but then..1 day later we had a discussion and after that..slowly...he was not 'there' anymore. I was so happy that he wanted to fight, but then he was gone again.
Now, I haven't spoke to him already for 2 months. I know that he still loves me and I also love him so much. I feel like missing him every day more and more. I just don't know how to handle this situation and how to accept that it is over. It is not really that I have a question to y'all but maybe an idea for me how to accept everything.
Thank you for reading and listening.
