Misunderstanding NT's

[Grumpy Cat]

Mmmmm... I'll try it. Hopefully things go well!

Feeding thing: It was weird. That's just never happened to me and when I see it in movies and stuff it usually means something. That's the whole reason I mentioned it.

Wait. You mean she actually fed you by putting food in your mouth?
And how well do you know her?

 

[Judge]

Wait. You mean she actually fed you by putting food in your mouth?
And how well do you know her?

Yep...something I've seen in movies as well. But yeah...it could be endearing or just plain weird on a first date. Or maybe she's a "free spirit" and is quite spontaneous. So many mixed messages...

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Yep...something I've seen in movies as well. But yeah...it could be endearing or just plain weird on a first date. Or maybe she's a "free spirit" and is quite spontaneous. So many mixed messages...

This is just me but that seems a little forward unless you know her well. And it sounds like she's pretty busy with the guys and must date a lot. She definitely isn't on the shy side.

 

[Judge]

This is just me but that seems a little forward unless you know her well. And it sounds like she's pretty busy with the guys and must date a lot. She definitely isn't on the shy side.

Beats me. I've never had even a live-in g/f do that...but in the big picture it's not all that important.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Beats me. I've never had even a live-in g/f do that...

You just made me laugh! I'm thinking my swallow reflex wouldn't catch and I'd end up choking on a grape or something!
I tried doing that with Waldo but he almost ate my finger for dinner.

 

[Judge]

The only time I've seen that done personally was at weddings...where the bride and groom shove cake into each others mouths. Of course we're only talking about food here!

 

[Grumpy Cat]

The only time I've seen that done personally was at weddings...where the bride and groom shove cake into each others mouths. Of course we're only talking about food here!

Why Judge, what else would we be talking about besides food?

 

[Judge]

Why Judge, what else would we be talking about besides food?

Normally at a dinner table I'd think just food.

Then again some people can be quite assertive and creative.

 

[stigmatic]

Wait. You mean she actually fed you by putting food in your mouth?
And how well do you know her?

Yeah, like actually fed me by putting food in my mouth. That's what was so weird!
I mean, I talk to her off and on. She'll actually be the one to text me which is another reason why I kinda don't want to deal with her. She may be using me for attention?

 

[Judge]

I mean, I talk to her off and on. She'll actually be the one to text me which is another reason why I kinda don't want to deal with her. She may be using me for attention?

Tough call. You have a right to be suspicious, but it would just seem to me that you'd need a lot more exposure to her to figure out what really motivates her. Meaning I wouldn't walk away from her just yet.

Women can be very frustrating at times just trying to understand them. I suppose for now all you can really do is to be cognizant of the difference between dating someone and having an actual relationship with them. Just hang in there and see where it goes.

IMO dating itself remains a ritual shrouded in a lot of social subterfuge to begin with.

Reminds me of when our family stayed with his best friend's family for a few weeks when we moved to a new place. Every time the phone rang we'd hear their 18yr old daughter charge down the stairs only to stop at the phone and let it ring off the hook before answering one of her "suitors".

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Women can be very frustrating at times just trying to understand them

And men can't? Oh brother. I understand me perfectly well, Judge. Like Grumpy Cat says:

 

[Judge]

Keep in mind that it's usually a little more difficult for US to "read" people in general.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Every time the phone rang we'd hear their 18yr old daughter charge down the stairs only to stop at the phone and let it ring off the hook before answering one of her "suitors".

Judge, I understand what she was doing completely. It's just so obvious. She was playing hard to get. Don't men always want what they can't have and love a chase?

 

[stigmatic]

Tough call. You have a right to be suspicious, but it would just seem to me that you'd need a lot more exposure to her to figure out what really motivates her. Meaning I wouldn't walk away from her just yet.

Women can be very frustrating at times just trying to understand them. I suppose for now all you can really do is to be cognizant of the difference between dating someone and having an actual relationship with them. Just hang in there and see where it goes.

IMO dating itself remains a ritual shrouded in a lot of social subterfuge to begin with.

Reminds me of when our family stayed with his best friend's family for a few weeks when we moved to a new place. Every time the phone rang we'd hear their 18yr old daughter charge down the stairs only to stop at the phone and let it ring off the hook before answering one of her "suitors".

They are a little weird... If I feel comfortable enough I can handle being myself. I usually like to talk about things like religion, computers, video games, etc. It's so hard to ask them questions because I feel like I'm prying.

 

[Judge]

Judge, I understand what she was doing completely. It's just so obvious. She was playing hard to get.

It wasn't completely obvious to me. I had think about it a bit, and consider the age factor and all the nonsense that goes with dating as a social ritual. That's why today I mentioned our family friend, with her own brand of "hard-to-get".

Don't men always want what they can't have and love a chase?

Not me on either count. In fact it once aided me in getting a g/f I never intended. I watched guys falling all over this extremely attractive girl I once worked with. Made friends with her, nothing more...and she was the one that suddenly appeared on my doorstep one night. She fell for me because I wasn't chasing her at all! Go figure...

 

[Maelstrom]

I'll usually give food to someone if they are with me and I'm eating. It's a little rude to eat in front of someone.

Hi grumpy...it goes like this SMOOCH smooch smooch Ooh HONEY would you like me to feed you a piece cake! Followed by more smooching and the sound of other people in the restaurant throwing up on the floor. Mael is accepting donations for post theater now.

 

[Maelstrom]

You just made me laugh! I'm thinking my swallow reflex wouldn't catch and I'd end up choking on a grape or something!
I tried doing that with Waldo but he almost ate my finger for dinner.

Put the food in the palm of your hand if you wish to hand feed your cat they love you to death for that, Kitty FOOD LOVE.

 

[Maelstrom]

Yeah, like actually fed me by putting food in my mouth. That's what was so weird!
I mean, I talk to her off and on. She'll actually be the one to text me which is another reason why I kinda don't want to deal with her. She may be using me for attention?

Ah! I think I met someone like her before, didn't end well. She is likely a low boundary high attention seeking person, she will love you to death in the moment, who knows what flower will strike her fancy 10 minuets later. If you want to date her, than chalk it up as dating practise and keep the heart in the pocket. Chances are that you will get run through the paces good and bad. Only time will tell for sure, I could be wrong, just be careful and keep the eyes open. Some people can be (Both) at the same time...

 

[wyverary]

I'm only speaking here as an aromantic asexual who happens to be a keen observer of human nature, but it sounds like you're dealing with an AWFULLY lot of unknowns here. When you first start getting to know someone, especially in the earliest stages, even NT's have difficulty processing what might be going on. Best advice I can give you? See where this all goes. If it works out between you two, fabulous! But at this stage I think it fruitless to try and overanalyze things. Ce qui sera, sera, as they say.