Meltdowns

[Annaa]

Hi,
Today was a pretty great day and I felt incredibly happy until 6 pm, that was when i talked to my mother about politics and she told me that I should be happy to live in such a country and stop trying to talk about such stuff, she even said that I would get kicked out of school if I mention it, which is obviously not true I mean we are in Germany and we have free speech and I tried telling her that but she would listen then she got mad than I got mad than I could deal with it and i went to my room and I couldn't deal with the anxiety so I started scratching my arms since I felt like I was going to explode and when she started calling me I got even more uncomfortable and I couldn't listen to it anymore, so I turned of the lights and started my favorite YouTube videos still feeling anxious, which I couldn't do for long because i had something to do, so yeah its been like half an hour and I'm all good now except I still feel a little anxious and shaky I will still confront my school about the propaganda they are showcasing in the hallways tough.
Anyways I feel like I have been denying that I get meltdowns for a pretty long time, I've been excusing it as just feeling uncomfortable so I really want to know what is the difference between a simply feeling uncomfortable and having a meltdown I don't think this was a meltdown because it stopped fast I tried google but I don't get any answers, it would really help me understand myself and my symptoms better since I just recently got my diagnosis.

 

[Aspychata]

Well today l was polite and asked someone to let me know when they were done in a certain area. They got nasty, told me the f-bomb. Told me l was alone because of my attitude. (I am alone because l don't date jerks). I did not go to his level with F-bombs. So l guess we have to work on proactive and less reactive in life.

Congrats on stopping yourself short of a flare-up. I believe this shows maturity on your part, something l am working thru. Thanks for posting this. Parents can feel in back of the learning curve as they aren't always up on current trends. Maybe your mom isn't the best person to discuss things like that. You may have a propensity for politics. Maybe run for something in your school, like head of student body. It's hard to get a school to change their propaganda but you could write a letter your outlining thoughts, back it up with facts, and ask the school board to consider your input.

 

[Stuttermabolur]

I have it as a policy not to talk politics with people who have strong emotions associated with the subject as it never goes well. They are guaranteed to be entrenched in their opinion, they won't listen to any of my arguments and it will damage our relationship. Politics is actually one of my biggest interests and I have a lot of fun discussing it with people who approach the subject more academically, but emotional arguments are a big no-no for me in general for the exact reasons you mention. I also start shaking and can't really talk intelligently until I calm down.​

 

[mysterionz]

that was when i talked to my mother about politics

Politics is a very very controversial topic regardless of where you are in the world. I’d recommend not talking politics around people (unless it’s respectful.) LGBTQ and human rights do not fall in this category as they aren’t politics.

 

[Misery]

LGBTQ and human rights do not fall in this category as they aren’t politics.

A lot of people sure will try to make it be political, though.

All the more reason not to engage, I say.

I always just walk away and/or throw shoes at people when political yapping starts. Just... no. It never ends well, regardless of subject.

so I really want to know what is the difference between a simply feeling uncomfortable and having a meltdown I don't think this was a meltdown

Honestly, I wouldnt worry about the difference in terms of definition. It's one of those things that will vary wildly from one person to the next. How it works for someone else may not be how it works for you. Makes it bloody confusing, of course.

When you feel like you're getting into that state though, just try to distract yourself and focus on basically anything else. That'd be my advice for something to try.

I couldn't deal with the anxiety so I started scratching my arms since I felt like I was going to explode and when she started calling me I got even more uncomfortable and I couldn't listen to it anymore, so I turned of the lights and started my favorite YouTube videos still feeling anxious,

For what it's worth, I can sympathize with this part, sorta.

I have the same anxious stim, raking my nails down my arm when I get really agitated. Cant stop doing it once I start. It's frustrating, eh?

 

[mysterionz]

A lot of people sure will try to make it be political, though.

Unfortunately, yes

 

[Au Naturel]

Politics is a very very controversial topic regardless of where you are in the world. I’d recommend not talking politics around people (unless it’s respectful.) LGBTQ and human rights do not fall in this category as they aren’t politics.

LGBTQ and human rights are very much politics here. Our political parties have quite oppositional stances. I won't bring either of those up until I know how the other person will respond. Good people can otherwise take some remarkably absurd and bigoted positions, and challenging them only drives them deeper into their corner.

 

[vlados]

Hi,
Today was a pretty great day and I felt incredibly happy until 6 pm, that was when i talked to my mother about politics and she told me that I should be happy to live in such a country and stop trying to talk about such stuff, she even said that I would get kicked out of school if I mention it, which is obviously not true I mean we are in Germany and we have free speech and I tried telling her that but she would listen then she got mad than I got mad than I could deal with it and i went to my room and I couldn't deal with the anxiety so I started scratching my arms since I felt like I was going to explode and when she started calling me I got even more uncomfortable and I couldn't listen to it anymore, so I turned of the lights and started my favorite YouTube videos still feeling anxious, which I couldn't do for long because i had something to do, so yeah its been like half an hour and I'm all good now except I still feel a little anxious and shaky I will still confront my school about the propaganda they are showcasing in the hallways tough.
Anyways I feel like I have been denying that I get meltdowns for a pretty long time, I've been excusing it as just feeling uncomfortable so I really want to know what is the difference between a simply feeling uncomfortable and having a meltdown I don't think this was a meltdown because it stopped fast I tried google but I don't get any answers, it would really help me understand myself and my symptoms better since I just recently got my diagnosis.

Talking to parents could never be easy. I am completely insane about it all the time. My meltdowns are indirectly striking all surrounding people, especially those who try to help. I cannot stand the help anymore... It brings more pain and I cannot feel even a tiny grain of positive effectiveness. I want to walk away from anybody but what causing a meltdown is the impossible nature of this action (to simply stay alone for even a second, I count the presence of unsolved interactions even if they are already only in my head). Every talk with parents has an effect of loosing a day or a few after that, recovering from stress caused by impossibility to guide your own way in conversation and even finish it when you want and not talk over 5 hours. Also, processing their advices and comments about how incompetent you are and how would they do different and what should you do next. Hence, I have no right to say and even be exhausted and take a break, I need to continuously perform because its a difficult time and never ending marathon. I am happy my parents were not caught up by propaganda and holding strong, I am frustrated I am not in position to help them because I am not secured myself living in other country, but I dont know what is positive about invalidating my own problems and minimizing my efforts saying: "If I only I had your problems, I would be relaxed" - quote of typical parents