Poppet
Active Member
I have a little dilemma that I was hoping to get some advice about...
I've recently been looking into joining/attending some ASD real life social/support groups, in order to try to make some friends or at least feel somewhat connected to the ASD community in a real life context (instead of just online message boards).
I've not had a ton of luck finding groups, but I finally found a few. One is a group for adults with aspergers that are meeting this coming Thursday. Another is a woman who works at an autism therapy place in town that wants to meet with me to talk about my experience getting diagnosed, the possibility of setting up a social group for women, and to see some of my resources I've collected about ASD over the past year or so (I told her I'd be interested in doing all of this).
Anyway, so it's a two part problem.
Problem 1) I'm nervous about meeting other people on the spectrum, or people who work with those on the spectrum (especially with children with classic/severe autism) because I'm worried that they won't think I'm "autistic enough"... I worry that they'll think I'm full of it just because I've learned coping skills that help me pass as NT, and I tend to hold back a lot in social situations, so people assume everything is fine with me because I'm being quiet and reserved, even when internally I'm not fine. I'm worried of ignorance and someone thinking I don't outwardly "look" autistic enough. I worry less about this being an issue with the social group, but I am really concerned about it being an issue with the woman who works in the therapy setting as I doubt she's on the spectrum herself, but she deals with a lot of kids who have very obvious ASD issues and traits.
I'm a married 26 year old who looks put together and everything when I go out in public (I like fashion so I dress up when I go out and only rock the PJs hard when at home), so I feel like I'm going to be judged for my outward mask rather than for who I am really. I was diagnosed this year so I've obviously been learning to pass as NT for basically 26 years! I've gotten okay at it.
Problem 2) I live in Virginia USA, and here in the US Autism Speaks is HUGE and well respected. I don't know where you (as a reader) stand on Autism Speaks, but I am very much against their propaganda. I won't bother explaining why (you can watch this for a quick run-down) but in general in the autism support communities in the US, sooooo many people are Autism Speaks supporters, and they don't even know the reasons why someone wouldn't like them. I'm really nervous that the social/support groups I find here (including the two I mentioned above that I might be interacting with soon) will be Autism Speaks supporters and we will clash heavily on the subject. What do I do if I'm in a situation where all is going well and then suddenly we're like, on completely different sides of a very sensitive subject?? I don't know that I could just back down and ignore the issue, but at the same time, I'm not the most articulate person and I don't know if I could effectively explain my position on Autism Speaks without just sounding clueless or insensitive or rude...
So hopefully those concerns made sense and maybe someone out there can give me some advice or tell me their experience with first-time-meetings with other ASD or ASD focused people.
I've recently been looking into joining/attending some ASD real life social/support groups, in order to try to make some friends or at least feel somewhat connected to the ASD community in a real life context (instead of just online message boards).
I've not had a ton of luck finding groups, but I finally found a few. One is a group for adults with aspergers that are meeting this coming Thursday. Another is a woman who works at an autism therapy place in town that wants to meet with me to talk about my experience getting diagnosed, the possibility of setting up a social group for women, and to see some of my resources I've collected about ASD over the past year or so (I told her I'd be interested in doing all of this).
Anyway, so it's a two part problem.
Problem 1) I'm nervous about meeting other people on the spectrum, or people who work with those on the spectrum (especially with children with classic/severe autism) because I'm worried that they won't think I'm "autistic enough"... I worry that they'll think I'm full of it just because I've learned coping skills that help me pass as NT, and I tend to hold back a lot in social situations, so people assume everything is fine with me because I'm being quiet and reserved, even when internally I'm not fine. I'm worried of ignorance and someone thinking I don't outwardly "look" autistic enough. I worry less about this being an issue with the social group, but I am really concerned about it being an issue with the woman who works in the therapy setting as I doubt she's on the spectrum herself, but she deals with a lot of kids who have very obvious ASD issues and traits.
I'm a married 26 year old who looks put together and everything when I go out in public (I like fashion so I dress up when I go out and only rock the PJs hard when at home), so I feel like I'm going to be judged for my outward mask rather than for who I am really. I was diagnosed this year so I've obviously been learning to pass as NT for basically 26 years! I've gotten okay at it.
Problem 2) I live in Virginia USA, and here in the US Autism Speaks is HUGE and well respected. I don't know where you (as a reader) stand on Autism Speaks, but I am very much against their propaganda. I won't bother explaining why (you can watch this for a quick run-down) but in general in the autism support communities in the US, sooooo many people are Autism Speaks supporters, and they don't even know the reasons why someone wouldn't like them. I'm really nervous that the social/support groups I find here (including the two I mentioned above that I might be interacting with soon) will be Autism Speaks supporters and we will clash heavily on the subject. What do I do if I'm in a situation where all is going well and then suddenly we're like, on completely different sides of a very sensitive subject?? I don't know that I could just back down and ignore the issue, but at the same time, I'm not the most articulate person and I don't know if I could effectively explain my position on Autism Speaks without just sounding clueless or insensitive or rude...
So hopefully those concerns made sense and maybe someone out there can give me some advice or tell me their experience with first-time-meetings with other ASD or ASD focused people.