me

[mikeg26843]

well, i went for a ride today, i'm knackered now, i need to to more upper body exercise, i'm now mostly leg muscle, its stupid

 

[mikeg26843]

got my new glasses now

 

[poodlepiglet]

Sounds like you are feeling better. Glad to hear.

:wave:

 

[mikeg26843]

marginally

 

[poodlepiglet]

Well that's better then nothing Hope you feel better still.

 

[mikeg26843]

thank you poodlepiglet

 

[Calvert]

got my new glasses now

Post a pic.  B)

 

[mikeg26843]

i dont like looking at myself, let alone letting people on the internet who i've never met see how **** i look

 

[mikeg26843]

well, im feeling pretty ****** again

 

[Sean2222]

okay, yeah, well feel free to make your own observations or whatever and reply in whatever way you see fit because frankly i've lost the will to care now.

i see myself as a pathetic loner with no life, no friends and no future, i have no social life what so ever, no 'real life' friends, a small handful of internet friends, so far i have dealt with education relatively well but i think im ****ing up my college work, i decided i was gaming too much so i let my brother take my xbox 360 to uni with him and now my motherboard broke i think im going to let him take basically my rig, minus hdds and motherboard with him to uni, i have stuff that i need to get done anyway and i need to work
just to give some idea of my patheticness, my steam accounts value is £654.48 GBP (steamcalculator) and i've spent a lot on the xbox and games and stuff, i should have spent that money better.



yeah, i suppose i do hate myself, i guess that's what happens after i'm not even sure how many years (since like year 3 or 4 right up till i left secondary school) of bullying and not being able to fit in anywhere and not being able to make friends, im fed up really, i just see an extremely lonely future and i don't like it, but i cant change it, i cant talk to people because i have no social skills and i have no social skills because i cant talk to people what the **** is wrong with me, whenever ive tried to just talk to someone i've been ignored or told to go away pretty much no matter what the circumstance even when ive done nothing wrong, i didn't realise i repulse people so much, looks like i do.


anyway, i may add to this later, but for now this is mike and im off

Sound slike me, noly to a lesser degree. All my issues are very extreme and have pretty much ruined my life from age 5 on and left me in a state of innocence, immaturity of age 15 yet none of te life experiences of my true age. My body feels like 90 with all the chronic apin and lack of sleep, my brain and heart at age 15 where I am forever frozen in. never made one friend or went on a date, or anything even close to resembling it. Been beaten up and bullied to th epoint I don't know why I never killed myself and sitll haven't. Lost every person I thought I might have had as a friend, they turne don me for no reason. Lost every job I ever had. Hate every male I come in contact with because of my father's abuse and all the males' abuse of me in school, etc. Am controlled by this unhealthy longing to have a friend/girlfriend of someone like me. Someone who actually will respect me, listen to me, relate to me, and vice versa. I relate to females so well it is as if I am one. I am drifting further and further away from my own gender identity and like it that way. I never held any closeness or relation to who I was and was always disgusted by my own body and things associated with being a fguy. yet I am heterosexual and face the stereotypes of narrowminded people who think I should automatically siwth sexual preferences. I just obsess over girls on every level. Friendship, love, relationship, companionship, whatever. I justwish I could find some aspie females aound me but of course no. All the upport groups (very few) are all males, which sabotage me from sthe start. I sit there and sya nothing (as I always did in the past) while others have fun and act asif they are normal nt's. I am constantly the one more impaired than any aspie I meet and am always reminded of how bad my life is/was/always will be. While everyone else has so much to live for, and I have to struggle with every singular task and activity I endeavor in my life. I am amember od division of developmental disabilities and the arc and they refuse to set me up with any aspies becaus 5hey say it's not a dating service. It is so pathetic, I don't want to be setup on a date, just a chance to connect with a female that is like me. I think that should be left up to that person and not ddd to make that determination anyway. Yet nobody wants to help an autistic/aspie that's over 18. I am hopeless, powerless, and everything less on my way to eithe rkill myself or kill myself.

 

[smithgirl656]

i can't say that i know exactly what Sean021122 or mike feel, i have had an easy life, but i understand the problem with makeing friends and feeling like there is nothing for you, and feeling lonely. i was trying to think of something to say that might make you feel better but i'm not good with words, but if either of you would like to talk to me i would love to try and help you, i'm good at listening and i think i'm good at helping once i think of the right words

 

[richbebo]

oh and calvert, the whole idea in getting rid of the gaming stuff is because its an addiction, one that i cant control myself once i've got on it, literally nine hours none stop gaming, not moving from my chair

Aha, i see what you mean, i have literaly spent half a day on mine, i once played Fable II all night till it was light outside. If you want my advice DONT PLAY THAT GAME, YOU WILL BE HOOKED.
As for the addidiction, who gives a crap its your life (just stop when you start hallucinating lol), also
I could never give away my baby(yeah i called my xbox my baby)cause i would miss it so freakin much.