Maybe it was a blessing in disguise I got banned from Wrongplanet

[Markness]

Funny enough that's exactly what the members who accused me of being sexist likened me to: so called incel members (I think they were referring to you) who apparently had a hard time with women and thats why they were sexist. I understand that there are those who legitimately are sexist who have a hard time with women, but to lump in all single men who have a hard time with women as being incels and sexist is ironically sexist in of itself.

The nerve of those self righteous jerks.

One even demanded I should go up to other men and tell them to “cut it out” in regards to sexism. I did that once to my older brother and do you know what happened? He punched me in the face!

EDIT: Just saw you added another bit. Yeah, the Elliot Rodger thing was insulting and unfair, especially since Rodger’s issues were deeper than mine. He didn’t like being half-Asian and behaved like Street Fighter’s Vega.

 

[Tarliki]

One even demanded I should go up to other men and tell them to “cut it out” in regards to sexism. I did that once to my older brother and do you know what happened? He punched me in the face!

Ouch! I know what it feels like to be punched in the face by my brother. Not fun.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Anyone here ever use Aspies for Freedom before it was shut down? That was the site I was talking about. The owners were acting very strangely for a couple of months and banned a popular user out of nowhere and a couple of users asked about what happened as the banned user didn’t seem to do anything ban worthy and the owners went full tyrant mode and banned people for asking a simple question and one mod even got banned because he disagreed with them and told them that they were being unfair and acting irrationally. The rest of us were really afraid to say or do anything because people kept being banned for minor things.

 

[Tarliki]

Anyone here ever use Aspies for Freedom before it was shut down? That was the site I was talking about. The owners were acting very strangely for a couple of months and banned a popular user out of nowhere and a couple of users asked about what happened as the banned user didn’t seem to do anything ban worthy and the owners went full tyrant mode and banned people for asking a simple question and one mod even got banned because he disagreed with them and told them that they were being unfair and acting irrationally. The rest of us were really afraid to say or do anything because people kept being banned for minor things.

That doesnt sound like an Autism forum, that sounds like North Korea. Ironic that a forum with a name like "Aspies for Freedom" sounds more Orwellian and totalitarian than literal repressive regimes.

 

[Kalinychta]

Then again, some people deserve to be banned but will insist they did absolutely nothing wrong. Two sides to every story, as they say.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

When I was on Wrongplanet the members were very woke to the point where I got accused of being a sexist only for saying I'm against RADICAL feminism (operative word here being radical, as in I distinguish between regular feminism and radical feminism) and I was kicked off the forum and deemed a misogynist for very mild views I never thought would be considered sexism.

I have rarely encountered radical feminism. Only one incident sticks in my mind. For Darwin Day the field Museum was conducting a series of seminars on topics in Evolutionary Biology. One woman was trying to make the connection that rape is a consistent feature of males across animal lineages and ingrained in male DNA. It was entirely anthropomorphizing some behaviors completely out of context and would not answer questions by the evolutionary behavioralists. She could have considered decent counter examples such as female hyenas' dominance through social networks, or Bonobo sexual behavior, but instead went on an anti-male screed. I felt embarrased for her. Men have a lot to answer for and I have always acted in a sense of cooperation rather than confrontation ever since I read Friedan's The Feminine Mystique early in high school.

 

[Markness]

Then again, some people deserve to be banned but will insist they did absolutely nothing wrong. Two sides to every story, as they say.

My pen pals don’t think I did anything wrong and two of them wish I was unbanned. I don’t think I am a bad person just because I got banned since the current admin is tyrannical.

 

[Kalinychta]

I have rarely encountered radical feminism. Only one incident sticks in my mind. For Darwin Day the field Museum was conducting a series of seminars on topics in Evolutionary Biology. One woman was trying to make the connection that rape is a consistent feature of males across animal lineages and ingrained in male DNA. It was entirely anthropomorphizing some behaviors completely out of context and would not answer questions by the evolutionary behavioralists. She could have considered decent counter examples such as female hyenas' dominance through social networks, or Bonobo sexual behavior, but instead went on an anti-male screed. I felt embarrased for her. Men have a lot to answer for and I have always acted in a sense of cooperation rather than confrontation ever since I read Friedan's The Feminine Mystique early in high school.

I don’t get it. What was the point of her presentation? I mean what was her conclusion in the context of feminism?

 

[Tarliki]

Then again, some people deserve to be banned but will insist they did absolutely nothing wrong. Two sides to every story, as they say.

Fair point.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I understand that there are those who legitimately are sexist who have a hard time with women, but to lump in all single men who have a hard time with women as being incels and sexist is ironically sexist in of itself.

@Tarliki , with difficulties making connection as a teen and young adult, yet having normal needs and desires, and not possessing the emotional maturity and skills to see them met, I thought of my isolation as involuntary. What does one call such a lonely situation?

 

[Tarliki]

I have rarely encountered radical feminism. Only one incident sticks in my mind. For Darwin Day the field Museum was conducting a series of seminars on topics in Evolutionary Biology. One woman was trying to make the connection that rape is a consistent feature of males across animal lineages and ingrained in male DNA. It was entirely anthropomorphizing some behaviors completely out of context and would not answer questions by the evolutionary behavioralists. She could have considered decent counter examples such as female hyenas' dominance through social networks, or Bonobo sexual behavior, but instead went on an anti-male screed. I felt embarrased for her. Men have a lot to answer for and I have always acted in a sense of cooperation rather than confrontation ever since I read Friedan's The Feminine Mystique early in high school.

Radical feminism is a real thing.

It says that a simple accusation of wrongdoing on a man's part is sufficient to destroy his life and reputation, no such thing as due process or innocent until proven guilty, because #BelieveAllWomen.

It says that gender norms and gender expectations in a relationship are outdated and sexist, except the ones that conveniently benefit women and only women. For example a radical feminist will insist that the man's expectations for a women to be kind and compassionate to him is wrong since it expects an attribute of women that feminists say shouldn't be expected of women, but it's OK to expect the man to strong, tough and to be expected to pay for everything and open doors because only some gender norms are OK.

Radical feminism says that if a woman is snappy and even slaps a guy it's funny, giggles, the man probably did something to deserve it, tolerate it, etc. but the moment a man raises his hand towards a woman he's a terrible POS and deserves to be castigated for being a vile sexist.


I can go on, but the above examples dont even scratch the surface of what radical feminism looks like. All of the above and more ive encountered copiously in my lifetime, and makes me upset that society can be so tolerant of such basic double standards.

I always separate radical feminism from normal feminism, which calls out ALL forms of inequity and is against double standards whether those double standards are against women or against men.

 

[Markness]

@Tarliki , with difficulties making connection as a teen and young adult, yet having normal needs and desires, and not possessing the emotional maturity and skills to see them met, I thought of my isolation as involuntary. What does one call such a lonely situation?

I thought mine was too. It still is.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I don’t get it. What was the point of her presentation? I mean what was her conclusion in the context of feminism?

She was attempting to make the point that rape is selected for in males as a means of asserting sexual dominance to maintain females in a subservient position. With so many counter examples both in asserting dominance by both sexes that does not involve rape, subservient males, as well as sexual cooperation in animals with hidden estrus, her assertions start to fall apart.

 

[Kalinychta]

She was attempting to make the point that rape is selected for in males as a means of asserting sexual dominance to maintain females in a subservient position. With so many counter examples both in asserting dominance by both sexes that does not involve rape, subservient males, as well as sexual cooperation in animals with hidden estrus, her assertions start to fall apart.

I see. So that would make Nature itself a misogynist. Weird thing to argue.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I see. So that would make Nature itself a misogynist. Weird thing to argue.

And wierder when one considers a lot of observations about sexual selection by females and the Red Queen hypothesis of a continued change to adapt for reproductive advantage (added - amounting to an "arms race" by males). That requires males to expend more energy to exhibit traits that make them easier prey. Once in Costa Rica I was watching Blue Morpho Butterflies (stunning). The females are larger and I was watching them glide nearly effortlessly while the smaller males were flapping away vigorously, trying to keep up and get noticed.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Then again, some people deserve to be banned but will insist they did absolutely nothing wrong. Two sides to every story, as they say.

That is true but in the case of the website I mentioned, no one could figure out what the first user that got banned did wrong. Even the mod that got banned for trying to find out could not figure it out himself and he went through the last posts made by this user. Then the mod got permanently banned out of nowhere just for asking them for what had happened. A few more also asked what exactly had happened and were immediately banned and they were long time users of the site who never even said anything remotely offensive. All we got was the “it’s our website so we can do whatever we want” excuse which a lot of people had issues with because that doesn’t mean you can do anything you want without expecting some backlash. The owners were even censoring posts to not say certain words and I think NT might have been one of them and I think another was that they were anti-vaccination as well. The whole site imploding happened about ten years ago so my exact memories are a bit fuzzy but I said all that I can fully remember about how toxic it quickly became in a couple of months before being shut down and only having a single chat room on the site.

 

[Kalinychta]

And wierder when one considers a lot of observations about sexual selection by females and the Red Queen hypothesis of a continued change to adapt for reproductive advantage (added - amounting to an "arms race" by males). That requires males to expend more energy to exhibit traits that make them easier prey. Once in Costa Rica I was watching Blue Morpho Butterflies (stunning). The females are larger and I was watching them glide nearly effortlessly while the smaller males were flapping away vigorously, trying to keep up and get noticed.

Well it is interesting, though, because I can’t think of a single woman I know who hasn’t been raped by a man and/or sexually coerced into something she wasn’t comfortable with which, at some point after the fact, left her feeling violated. I think we have a certain image or strict definition of what rape is when really there are many forms of it. What do you think about that?

 

[Kalinychta]

That is true but in the case of the website I mentioned, no one could figure out what the first user that got banned did wrong. Even the mod that got banned for trying to find out could not figure it out himself and he went through the last posts made by this user. Then the mod got permanently banned out of nowhere just for asking them for what had happened. A few more also asked what exactly had happened and were immediately banned and they were long time users of the site who never even said anything remotely offensive. All we got was the “it’s our website so we can do whatever we want” excuse which a lot of people had issues with because that doesn’t mean you can do anything you want without expecting some backlash. The owners were even censoring posts to not say certain words and I think NT might have been one of them and I think another was that they were anti-vaccination as well. The whole site imploding happened about ten years ago so my exact memories are a bit fuzzy but I said all that I can fully remember about how toxic it quickly became in a couple of months before being shut down and only having a single chat room on the site.

I believe you. Lots of people on here complain about WP. Some of them no doubt deserved being booted off (it’s usually easy to tell which ones, based on their behavior on this forum), but certainly they can’t all have.

 

[Magna]

Well it is interesting, though, because I can’t think of a single woman I know who hasn’t been raped by a man and/or sexually coerced into something she wasn’t comfortable with which, at some point after the fact, left her feeling violated. I think we have a certain image or strict definition of what rape is when really there are many forms of it. What do you think about that?

I think that's entirely probable (ie women if not "raped" (legal definition) being coerced into something they're not comfortable with). I can say as a man that the same thing happened to me by several women in my life (ie being coerced and also nearly coerced into something sexual that I wasn't comfortable with). I think greater awareness of sexual coercion is important regardless of sex. While it may happen more often statistically against women, it's important we don't think of it exclusively so. That would be wrong.

 

[Kalinychta]

I think that's entirely probable (ie women if not "raped" (legal definition) being coerced into something they're not comfortable with). I can say as a man that the same thing happened to me by several women in my life (ie being coerced or nearly coerced into something sexual that I wasn't comfortable with). I think greater awareness of sexual coercion is important regardless of sex. While it may happen more often statistically against women, it's important we don't think of it exclusively so. That would be wrong.

Certainly, no one should ever be manipulated into allowing someone to do something vile or harmful to them, male or female. It’s messed up how you’re blamed for it after the fact, too, because you “let” them or “allowed” them to do it (as though it’s ever that simple), therefore you have no grounds to feel abused or—yeah—straight up sexually assaulted.