I looked up pictures of them. Very beautiful! Biology is cool. In my next life I’m going to be a herpetologist.
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Maybe it was a blessing in disguise I got banned from Wrongplanet
- Thread starter Tarliki
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I looked up pictures of them. Very beautiful! Biology is cool. In my next life I’m going to be a herpetologist.
It wasn’t WP though. It was Aspies for Freedom which is a separate thing. It even has its own Wikipedia page (which doesn’t even mention the huge meltdown the owners had that suddenly shut down the forum section of the website).
Ohhhh, I see, sorry. That one sounds just as bad as WP, yikes.
Found a link that claims to explain what happened to the forums and why it was shut down but I know for a fact that this link isn’t 100% accurate as I was there when I saw everything happening.
end of Aspies for Freedom
The banned user disagreed with something the owners said which I think was about vaccines but they didn’t “attack” them as the article claims. So a group of long time users questioned the ban and they weren’t even attacking anyone but rather asking what exactly had happened and that they thought the ban seemed a bit extreme for just a different opinion being stated which the owners then banned those who asked questions. And at least one mod was confused and he did look at the supposed messages on the site that were supposedly attacking the owners and even said that it didn’t make any sense that the user had gotten banned over nothing that bad. And so that mod was instantly banned. He was even telling the owners that he wasn’t trying to take any sides but wanted to get the full story to explain to everyone wonderments about what was going on. The owners went off on this rant about how it was their site and they could do whatever they wanted and ban anyone at anytime if they wanted to. That is what made a lot users unhappy and complain that that type of attitude was unfair and unnecessary which led to a massive banning rampage. I was one of the lucky ones to not get banned but it was getting really bizarre in less than a month. Also I was one of the founding members of Autism Friends Network and I don’t think the negative comment about the site in the comments section is true because I believe that user already had some feud with the site’s owner and started bashing him and spreading lies about him which is why he was banned.
end of Aspies for Freedom
The banned user disagreed with something the owners said which I think was about vaccines but they didn’t “attack” them as the article claims. So a group of long time users questioned the ban and they weren’t even attacking anyone but rather asking what exactly had happened and that they thought the ban seemed a bit extreme for just a different opinion being stated which the owners then banned those who asked questions. And at least one mod was confused and he did look at the supposed messages on the site that were supposedly attacking the owners and even said that it didn’t make any sense that the user had gotten banned over nothing that bad. And so that mod was instantly banned. He was even telling the owners that he wasn’t trying to take any sides but wanted to get the full story to explain to everyone wonderments about what was going on. The owners went off on this rant about how it was their site and they could do whatever they wanted and ban anyone at anytime if they wanted to. That is what made a lot users unhappy and complain that that type of attitude was unfair and unnecessary which led to a massive banning rampage. I was one of the lucky ones to not get banned but it was getting really bizarre in less than a month. Also I was one of the founding members of Autism Friends Network and I don’t think the negative comment about the site in the comments section is true because I believe that user already had some feud with the site’s owner and started bashing him and spreading lies about him which is why he was banned.
Indeed.
The really, really sad thing about WP is how misused the banning function truly is. After all, considering how not only their "normal" members act, but also how their freaking moderators act...
Heck, I had one try to do that to me once. Why? Because I was acting like myself. You know, how I do on this forum. Yes, really. That was the reason.
How did I stop it? I weaponized one mod against another mod. Yes, really. But it was only fair, considering that other mod had been weaponized against me. Fight fire with fire, whatever...
And all of this in a place that claims to HELP people.
Even more tragic, well... we've all seen it on this forum, there are occasional users who come here, in the absolute depths of despair, feeling like they're hitting that point of no return. Imagine what happens to them when they find WP instead.
Just... uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
Yeah sorry, ranting a bit. That accursed site always gets me going. As will the mention of certain "infamous" users there. It says a lot to me, they'd ban all sorts of people, but never THOSE guys... some of you know who I'm talking about.
It sounds like a battlefield, to the point that you had to employ the “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” strategy. Goodness gracious. I kind of want to join just to see how long it takes before they kick me off, for scientific purposes.
I have to agree with you and have to add that I know women who, hoping for a connection, ended up feeling used. That 81% of women experiencing sexual harassment and/or assault in their lifetime speaks to me more of systemic violence against women that trains boys that sexual aggression is tolerated. I cannot think of any biological reason for this other than cultural conditioning of treating women as objects.
I have observed sexual predation by peers at a time I was isolated and as a man working to be ethical I felt hurt by that. I had somebody I thought of as a friend who I dropped when he related, laughingly, that while making out with a girl, he left her in tears when he fondled her and mocked her for having small breasts. One has to learn cruelty to act that way. Observing things like that, I was confused that girls/women never saw me as somebody who would enjoy a respectful connection with them. The only positive thing I can think about is my social dysfunction which I managed to overcome prevented me from noticing any interest towards me and acting upon it. That has left me profoundly sad that I did not act in a way to give those girls/women a choice. So many messages I was getting that said I was not a man.
Lest you think that my increasing desperation would cause me to act callously aggressive, let me relate my experience with my spouse. We carpooled to a trail maintenance project and enjoyed shared experiences over 4 days. The final day was wonderful and I was falling in love with her. We ended up having to share my tent. Me in my sleeping bag and she in hers. I was feeling comfortable but tense. It was such a nice day and I wanted to express how much she meant to me. So for the first time in my life my mind was racing about the possibility of intimacy. Dropping all hesitancy I asked her if she would like to make love with me. I blanked out and didn't hear her answer and my mind panicked a little and I started nattering away wondering if that could negatively affect our friendship and my mind was thinking how can I just disappear. She made it clear to me that she assented and, even inexperienced, I did my best to provide her with the pleasure I was feeling towards her. So at 28 I was astounded that a woman would accept me sexually and my life changed. She later told me that she did not know I was inexperienced because I was the first man who actually cared about her experience and satisfaction when making love. That was the first time I was so vulnerable with somebody, letting them past emotional and physical boundaries. It was a fundamental shift for me. I valued her and was not going to neglect or disappoint her. I've had guys previously tell me that one shouldn't marry the first woman you've slept with, but screw that. We were compatible and friends and my desire was to have a future with her.
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Ex-WPer here.
I originally went there to make some friends, as well as find a boyfriend. I was able to accomplish both, but it slowly went south from there. I got married to a user there in 2015, and my marriage crashed and burned 4 years later (it was his fault).
And the friends I made there, well, it was alright at first. Some I get along with well, but the good people there either left, or belittled me for saying certain things. Like, every time I say something that is important to me, I get in trouble (more on that in the next paragraph)
First time I left, I got upset with someone over politics. I came back a little more than a year later, and everything is okay for a while, but as months go by, I started to hate the place even more. I left after having a meltdown over sports and certain celebrities. I only came back more than a year (and one failed marriage) later to apologize, but after a few weeks, the hatred for the site came back. I got in trouble for writing a couple rants, one about my pet cockatoo, another about how I was upset about Bob Saget's death; the latter caused me to have another site-wide meltdown, which made me quit WP once and for all.
Sure there were some cool people there, but it was mostly full of the kind of people I'd be embarrassed to be around. I remember one woman there with Aspergers with her life together, who is constantly talking about her job, husband and kids, but also has a weird fetish (not saying what, though) Another woman (a Polish mod) made me feel inferior by telling me that I can't say certain things on WP's Rants page, basically telling me to hide my feelings. This same person obviously didn't know what it's like to own a bird who constantly squawks 24/7, so I decided to quit WP for good, and asked a mod to ban me.
That being said, I joined here back in 2017, during my "away time" from WP. Honestly, being here made me realize how fortunate I am to have people here listen to my problems and help, even if I don't come here as often.
I originally went there to make some friends, as well as find a boyfriend. I was able to accomplish both, but it slowly went south from there. I got married to a user there in 2015, and my marriage crashed and burned 4 years later (it was his fault).
And the friends I made there, well, it was alright at first. Some I get along with well, but the good people there either left, or belittled me for saying certain things. Like, every time I say something that is important to me, I get in trouble (more on that in the next paragraph)
First time I left, I got upset with someone over politics. I came back a little more than a year later, and everything is okay for a while, but as months go by, I started to hate the place even more. I left after having a meltdown over sports and certain celebrities. I only came back more than a year (and one failed marriage) later to apologize, but after a few weeks, the hatred for the site came back. I got in trouble for writing a couple rants, one about my pet cockatoo, another about how I was upset about Bob Saget's death; the latter caused me to have another site-wide meltdown, which made me quit WP once and for all.
Sure there were some cool people there, but it was mostly full of the kind of people I'd be embarrassed to be around. I remember one woman there with Aspergers with her life together, who is constantly talking about her job, husband and kids, but also has a weird fetish (not saying what, though) Another woman (a Polish mod) made me feel inferior by telling me that I can't say certain things on WP's Rants page, basically telling me to hide my feelings. This same person obviously didn't know what it's like to own a bird who constantly squawks 24/7, so I decided to quit WP for good, and asked a mod to ban me.
That being said, I joined here back in 2017, during my "away time" from WP. Honestly, being here made me realize how fortunate I am to have people here listen to my problems and help, even if I don't come here as often.
Seems like men are taught that women are females/female bodies, whereas women see men as human beings. When you don’t think of someone as a full person, you’re not going to be bothered if you use, exploit, and/or hurt them.
That’s a nice story about your wife. Things definitely worked out for you. Did you have kids?
Do you think, in terms of biology and evolution, that it makes sense why autistic men aren’t seen as particularly desirable partners?
It sounds like a snake pit! My goodness. They’re clearly doing more harm than good.
You are basically saying that I should give up wanting a partner. I refuse to do so.
I like the metaphor that manure can be used to grow wonderful flowers.
Which of course doesn't mean we need a semi-trailer of manure delivered on a daily basis. Most of us already have enough manure to grow flowers for the rest of our lives.
Hope you have a better experience with community. People aren't easy, but toxic accumulations of them running a place never results in good things, whether it's a forum, a workplace, community group, political party or anything else. It's good to try to find healthier places.
The truly sad part is, a lot of them are bullies of the most generic sort. The kind that will push someone around, keep doing that, over and over and over again, until the target just pops, and then... they will immediately forget about them. After a short period of feeling superior, of course. They'll then go look for someone else to pester. And when they're done with THAT person, they'll forget about them too. And the cycle repeats.
Chances are, they dont even remember you, because they never even bothered to take the time to get to know you even a bit. Gonna take a wild guess and say that none of them would remember me either. To that sort of person, we are just words on a screen... nothing more.
Honestly sometimes I feel almost sorry for them. To be stuck in that awful mindset, only able to get good feelings by putting others down... ugh.
Anyway, dont concern yourself with what those drain clogs think about you. They arent worth the braincells it takes to process whatever bloody stupid things they said to you. Bullies never are.
I was never on WP but I have definitely been on some toxic forums. Fortunately most of them have been shut down.
Obviously being obsessively hateful towards people with different political beliefs (whether you’re right or left) is wrong. But what exactly is the problem with people being openly opposed to racism? Being anti-racist is a good thing… unless I’m misinterpreting what “woke” has now come to mean, but the definition that tree posted doesn’t sound inherently bad.
But racism is a really sore subject to me so idk.
Obviously being obsessively hateful towards people with different political beliefs (whether you’re right or left) is wrong. But what exactly is the problem with people being openly opposed to racism? Being anti-racist is a good thing… unless I’m misinterpreting what “woke” has now come to mean, but the definition that tree posted doesn’t sound inherently bad.
But racism is a really sore subject to me so idk.
I like the metaphor that manure can be used to grow wonderful flowers.
Which of course doesn't mean we need a semi-trailer of manure delivered on a daily basis. Most of us already have enough manure to grow flowers for the rest of our lives.
Hope you have a better experience with community. People aren't easy, but toxic accumulations of them running a place never results in good things, whether it's a forum, a workplace, community group, political party or anything else. It's good to try to find healthier places.
I'm just disappointed. All this manure to clear away & I still don't own a horse.
Do you want a horse, @Gerontius? ...it's a lot of work... and expensive unless you already have your own place and can graze it.
You'll always have manure if you have a horse, of course.
Just it will be a different kind of manure from the metaphorical manure mentioned earlier.
\
Everyone thinks I'm some kind of book nerd but I grew up raising chickens & planting gardens...any excuse to get into the middle of freaking nowhere.
All foolish jokes aside I've been hanging out more with the horse people and they are far more down-to-earth than the people who've been breathing rarefied academic air for too long. I wish I'd remembered to keep up in rural stuff instead of just being an Underwood chauffeur for the last several years. It'd be nice to actually go plant things, mend things, raise critters. I miss my chickens.
Do you want a horse, @Gerontius? ...it's a lot of work... and expensive unless you already have your own place and can graze it.
You'll always have manure if you have a horse, of course.
Just it will be a different kind of manure from the metaphorical manure mentioned earlier.
Everyone thinks I'm some kind of book nerd but I grew up raising chickens & planting gardens...any excuse to get into the middle of freaking nowhere.
All foolish jokes aside I've been hanging out more with the horse people and they are far more down-to-earth than the people who've been breathing rarefied academic air for too long. I wish I'd remembered to keep up in rural stuff instead of just being an Underwood chauffeur for the last several years. It'd be nice to actually go plant things, mend things, raise critters. I miss my chickens.
Thank you @Kalinychta , You emphasize just why I appreciate the way I am. I have always valued women as the independent persons they are. No, we decided not to have children. While I see much in our behaviors that is part of our biological imperitive, I tend to see more as social conditioning. Undoubtedly we relate and connect differently than most people find comfortable, but I am recognizing more and more that we connect best when we concentrate on finding shared values, accepting personalities, and common interests. When I meet people like that my ego takes a back seat and I just enjoy the interaction without anything to prove, except how pleased I am to be with that person or those people.
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