Male auties/aspies and copying others/mimicry

[the_tortoise]

I see people say a lot that female aspies/auties are different from male aspies/auties in how their autism presents. One of the differences people mention is that female aspies/auties copy others and use mimicry...I assume this is supposed to mean males aspies/auties don't. But I'm a male autie and I copied others....I still copy others.

When I was little and I was the last child still sitting on the carpet after circle time at school (because I didn't pay attention), I would watch the other children to try to figure out what I was supposed to be doing for schoolwork and try to copy them even if I had no idea what they were doing, because I didn't have the ability to ask what I was supposed to be doing.

I also copied what people said when I recognized patterns (I still do this).

I copied what people did socially, sometimes, too....or tried to, at least, when I became a teenager. (To be fair, though, I also had other kids/youths teaching me how to say and do things normally -- like responding to the question, "What's up?"....as well as young adult mentors trying to teach me similar things.)

So what am I missing?

Am I taking it too literally, thinking that people mean male auties/aspies don't copy others at all -- ever? When really they just mean female ASDers copy others more, or are more successful at it than male ASDers? Is it a difference in what things males versus females copy?

Do any of you other males with an ASD ever copy others at all?

Note:

When I say "female" I mean both cis-gendered females and transgendered (MtoF) females.

When I say "male" I mean both cis-gendered males and transgendered (FtoM) males.

 

[Mia]

Think it might be that females do a lot more role play early on, given dolls and encouraged to nurture them, are read books about how to act (fairy tales) are expected to get along with others immediately when they start walking and talking. Socially little girls have tea parties and make food, hold hands and play games with other girls, have sleep overs etc. Some help their mothers with household tasks, such as washing dishes, sweeping, food preparation.

My brother was given toy trucks and cars and a baseball glove and bricks to play with. He wasn't expected to 'get along' with his friends, he had lots of physical fights with them. He was also taught that he should compete with them at an early age. He was early on encouraged to play on sports teams, like hockey and join boy scouts.

So it may be that boys do emulate others as girls do, to learn how to do things. Know that my husband watched lots of westerns as a child, to learn how males were supposed to act. At the same age I read books and magazines and had school courses in sewing, cooking, and etiquette and music. Think it depends a great deal on your perspective, background, schooling and family.

 

[Jimbo]

I am pretty sure I copied others until I got older. I never really new who the real me was so I would copy other males who I thought were seen as cool or acceptable by the world. I would visualize myself as being like them and try to fit that role.

Now at age 47 I know more about who the real me is and I try to let the real me shine through. I kind of like the real me. Immature, funny, witty, smart. Just the way God designed me.

 

[toothless]

im biologically female,[ftm trans] and ive never mimicked people apart from my ability to mimick accents during echolalia,i see all humans as being the same generic lump of flesh and i notice very little about them because im in my own head,i notice only sensory things like smell.

 

[Mr Allen]

32 years ago I started watching UK Soap Brookside, a few years later I kind of picked up a perfect Liverpool accent, despite the fact that at the time I'd never been there!

 

[the_tortoise]

Thank you everybody, for sharing your experiences and thoughts!

Think it might be that females do a lot more role play early on, given dolls and encouraged to nurture them, are read books about how to act (fairy tales) are expected to get along with others immediately when they start walking and talking. Socially little girls have tea parties and make food, hold hands and play games with other girls, have sleep overs etc. Some help their mothers with household tasks, such as washing dishes, sweeping, food preparation.

My brother was given toy trucks and cars and a baseball glove and bricks to play with. He wasn't expected to 'get along' with his friends, he had lots of physical fights with them. He was also taught that he should compete with them at an early age. He was early on encouraged to play on sports teams, like hockey and join boy scouts.

So it may be that boys do emulate others as girls do, to learn how to do things. Know that my husband watched lots of westerns as a child, to learn how males were supposed to act. At the same age I read books and magazines and had school courses in sewing, cooking, and etiquette and music. Think it depends a great deal on your perspective, background, schooling and family.

Are you suggesting that maybe when boys do copy/mimic others, our copying/mimicry is less likely to involve thinking about and acting to accomodate another person's perspective, or less likely to involve learning social behaviors that are useful in lots of contexts?

By "perspective", do you mean like how socially tuned in you are to things like gender roles/expectations and how you see things/people? Or something different or broader than that?

I am pretty sure I copied others until I got older. I never really new who the real me was so I would copy other males who I thought were seen as cool or acceptable by the world. I would visualize myself as being like them and try to fit that role.

Now at age 47 I know more about who the real me is and I try to let the real me shine through. I kind of like the real me. Immature, funny, witty, smart. Just the way God designed me.

I'm glad you found the real you and try to let him shine

I always knew who the real me was because I define "real me" from the inside looking out (the outside looking in is basically absent because it's so hard, sometimes impossible, for me to see and because it can vary a lot from person to person). But if I admired, respected, or liked someone I tried to treat others the way they treated me, try to respond to people the way they did (so....I would use their words in conversations -- maybe effectively, maybe not), and I would adopt hair and clothing styles from other guys if I thought they looked cool.

And I know I have copied other people's speech and behaviors in terms of trying to fit a social role (e.g. caregiver), or at a job.

im biologically female,[ftm trans] and ive never mimicked people apart from my ability to mimick accents during echolalia,i see all humans as being the same generic lump of flesh and i notice very little about them because im in my own head,i notice only sensory things like smell.

I say some things exactly how I originally heard them -- same tone and accent. I do this more when I'm tired. Mostly I can change the tone of words however I want, but sometimes I need to have heard them in that tone of voice or else I can't do it. (Maybe that just means I always need to have heard the word(s) spoken in the tone of voice I want, and I just have a huge library of sound files so usually there's no problem.....I don't know.)

I never saw all humans as generic lumps of flesh, but I think I can relate to being in your own head. I'm sometimes in my own head and don't notice my surroundings at all -- is that the type of "in your own head" that you mean?

32 years ago I started watching UK Soap Brookside, a few years later I kind of picked up a perfect Liverpool accent, despite the fact that at the time I'd never been there!

Do you mean you started talking with a perfect Liverpool accent all the time, or that you realized you could speak with a perfect Liverpool accent when you wanted to? Either way that's pretty cool (unless you couldn't control the accent and were unhappy about having it -- then it's not cool).

I pick up accents and other speech mannerisms if I'm around them a lot, but then they disappear after a while of me being around some other accent or people who speak a different way.

 

[toothless]

I say some things exactly how I originally heard them -- same tone and accent. I do this more when I'm tired. Mostly I can change the tone of words however I want, but sometimes I need to have heard them in that tone of voice or else I can't do it. (Maybe that just means I always need to have heard the word(s) spoken in the tone of voice I want, and I just have a huge library of sound files so usually there's no problem.....I don't know.)

I never saw all humans as generic lumps of flesh, but I think I can relate to being in your own head. I'm sometimes in my own head and don't notice my surroundings at all -- is that the type of "in your own head" that you mean?

yes you sound like me! i dont notice anything and it takes a lot for me to do basic interaction when im in my own head,the only thing i notice when im like this is my 'support cat' mr shadow,i instantly process him and come into the world then.

i dont know if youve researched it but its so common for people on the spectrum to have a ability to mimick accents,i remember reading because its common for autists to be unable to mimick as youngsters we lack a local accent so we can pick up practically any.
ive been asked many a time if i have foreign accent syndrome because i speak like a londoner but ive never been to london and i come from an area where there was tough mancunian accents and my family have tough irish accents.

ive met so many verbal autists who speak with a smooth/london accent,maybe we are like blank canvases,nothing can mould us, only we can mould ourselves?
are you the same?

 

[the_tortoise]

yes you sound like me! i dont notice anything and it takes a lot for me to do basic interaction when im in my own head,the only thing i notice when im like this is my 'support cat' mr shadow,i instantly process him and come into the world then.

I can definitely relate!

For me it usually takes touch to bring me back to the world when I'm really deep in my own head -- like my cat licking or nuzzling me or touching me with her paw, or a human touching my arm or shoulder, or me walking into a person or a tree or a mailbox or something like that.

Once when I was a teenager, I walked face first into a fireman on the sidewalk close to my house. He was trying to talk to me but I wasn't really following anything because I was only just getting my vision and then auditory systems back online. I vaguely remember him gesturing though, and he eventually got through to me that I had to go around the block or cross the street. My brain only put all the pieces together after the whole experience was over and I'd gone around a different way. It seems the fireman had stepped in front of me to physically block me from walking across downed powerlines in the street/sidewalk. I hadn't noticed any of the signs, cones, fire trucks, fire fighters....I just walked past/through all of it, and I didn't register the people shouting at me (with the shouting, it was muffled because I was listening to music, but I could still hear it some -- I just wasn't registering anything).

i dont know if youve researched it but its so common for people on the spectrum to have a ability to mimick accents,i remember reading because its common for autists to be unable to mimick as youngsters we lack a local accent so we can pick up practically any.
ive been asked many a time if i have foreign accent syndrome because i speak like a londoner but ive never been to london and i come from an area where there was tough mancunian accents and my family have tough irish accents.

ive met so many verbal autists who speak with a smooth/london accent,maybe we are like blank canvases,nothing can mould us, only we can mould ourselves?
are you the same?

I think I have a "wandering accent"; My accent shifts and I tend to pick up other people's accents (and intonation and speech patterns) when I'm around them a lot. Maybe I'm a white board instead of a canvas, nobody can mould me permanently, only temporarily?