Making progress then shutting down

[ftfipps]

I've been treated badly by so many people including family for the way I am. Now, I can be in a good mood and somebody says the wrong thing to me and I completely just give up on life. I was a smoker for many years and now I'm smoke free but when something bad happens I just want to go back to my old ways.

 

[Gritches]

I'm a former addict, and when things aren't going great it makes me want to give up my life of working and sleeping and go back to my life of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Something I was told in treatment by another former addict stuck with me though: you only remember the good times at times like that. You never remember the bad times.

I understand just wanting to give up. It helps to remember the bad times, and how things are better now. If it's something as simple as smoking, maybe look in your wallet and look at all that money that would be gone if you were smoking. Take a deep breath, and be thankful that you can. Walk up a flight of stairs, and note that your heart isn't pounding. Look in the mirror and smile, and be thankful that your teeth aren't stained yellow with tar. Eat something, and really taste it, without that ashy after-taste. Something like that, it's just about appreciating that you made the right choices and that you want to stick with that.

Just my thoughts.

 

[Chance]

Is the old "saying" 2 steps forward and 1 step back... Or 1 step forward and 2 steps back???
Both suck. I hopes its the first one... Geez

As far as shutdowns... I wish they gave awards for them. I would look like some Olympian, from back in the day. These days not so bad... Kind of can control a lot more than I use to could.

I get what you mean. I live this way most everyday... : )

 

[ftfipps]

This is the ULTIMATE curse. I am smart enough to philosophize but I'll never be able to connect with other people with simple interaction. I guess you can be happy without knowing a lot of people.

 

[Chance]

Its a lot of times lonely, but the social interaction (for me) is sometimes way more taxing and uses so much energy that I easily choose to not say much in real life. I choose be off to my self just because its safer and easier mostly... That never means its right or what I always want.

I just become friends with people who can get me and thats not many... Once people see me struggling or having a bad day, ASD style... That usually is a pretty good way to run people off, or get them all over me... Depending on the circumstance of course.

 

[ftfipps]

I am doing so much better since I first joined this site. I used to mope around the house and be negative. Now I read Dalai Lama books, eat very healthy and I may be getting a real work from home job!!!!! I will keep you fellows posted. I love how you used the word Olympian, I use that term sometimes. I mean, at least we know what we are capable of socially. I'm not out there trying to wait tables or something.

 

[Chance]

Glad to hear you are better. I have never stuck with much in my life. I feel it will sort of always leave me behind anyway... BUT this site has helped me in ways I cant even explain in words.

On here I sound like some loud mouth, because I just let stuff out that I don't even mention in real life. In a person to person conversation I think people might at times enjoy talking to a rock over trying to get me to carry on a conversation. On here... I don't know what it is, but I cant sort of cut loose and at times I know I can be a pain in the butt, but at the end of the day we are just humans trying our best to be anything I suppose.

I know deep within us is much more than we often allow to ever come out. Many times we are afraid of the dreams and nightmares inside us... I know I am, but we deserve no less of a LIFE than any other being on the planet.

I hope you decide to hang out some more if it helps you. Its all I got for the most part. Most all my life I have been so closed off... I don't know why I sort of suddenly had this want to let it all out and finally try to become something that has meaning.

In that is always tons of fear. In doing nothing there was even more fear, depression, anxiety, and personal demons that just seem to want to consume me. So either way its uncomfortable, but at least this way I am working on becoming more of who I really am and less of what people have forced me to be.

 

[nowwhat]

This is the ULTIMATE curse. I am smart enough to philosophize but I'll never be able to connect with other people with simple interaction. I guess you can be happy without knowing a lot of people.

Please don't forget that here you have found the group of people who understand you, are like you.

 

[SusanLR]

In a person to person conversation I think people might at times enjoy talking to a rock over trying to get me to carry on a conversation

Don't knock the rock!
That is my special collection...rocks.
Someone once said I had such a connection with rocks
they made the joke I was Romancing the Stone.

And yes, this is a great place to share with others like yourself. It's like my daily place to convo.

Tiki brothers and Obsidian.

 

[Progster]

If you get the urge to smoke, it might help to remember that it won't solve any problems, and the long-term side effects of smoking far outweigh any possible benefits, it's highly addictive, so is it really worth it? Perhaps you can find a more effective and less harmful coping mechanism, like going for a walk, listening to some music, playing a game, giving yourself a treat that you wouldn't normally have, making a list of your positive attributes, or positive experiences that have made you feel good about yourself and looking at this list, until the negative feelings subside. This, too, will pass!

 

[OkRad]

You can be alone and be happy I have shut down a lot and it brought me so much peace. I wish I had done it sooner.

I always thought I had to socialize because everyone said that was the best way. But for me it was not.

I really like people. I was very social when I was young . No one knows what happened to me but when "it" hit, that was it. It became a Heraclean struggle. (I use the Greek Heraclean as opposed to the Latin/Roman Herculean because I love Greek and like the way Heracles sounds......just as Aspie side note there, and sticking with the Olympian theme! )

So , yes, it was way harder when I was young. I will admit that because I really WAS missing out on things. But I am not now. I probably was not then, either. It was probably I just thought I was.

Truly, the best times I had where when i was alone or with family and we were or I was involved in something excruciatingly intellectual. The things that make your brain explode. Then I am happy.

 

[Esa]

This is the ULTIMATE curse. I am smart enough to philosophize but I'll never be able to connect with other people with simple interaction. I guess you can be happy without knowing a lot of people.

You can also be very unhappy with a lot of people in your life, and very lonely, too.

 

[Esa]

If you get the urge to smoke, it might help to remember that it won't solve any problems, and the long-term side effects of smoking far outweigh any possible benefits, it's highly addictive, so is it really worth it? Perhaps you can find a more effective and less harmful coping mechanism, like going for a walk, listening to some music, playing a game, giving yourself a treat that you wouldn't normally have, making a list of your positive attributes, or positive experiences that have made you feel good about yourself and looking at this list, until the negative feelings subside. This, too, will pass!

Most of those things we turn to when we are having a bad day (or a bad year..) are not necessarily the things we see as solutions. When you try to get away from something, you tend to get closer to something else, and it's not always a good thing.

 

[nowwhat]

I would add that being a bad relationship (good ones are devilishly hard to create), is much, much worse than being alone.