MAKING AND KEEPING FRIENDS WITH NT's

[danielcollins]

I think general friendships are somewhat strained, although if anything in my past experience friends with NT's has been much much easier. I did have another gay friend who was also an aspie, but I found it very hard to maintain a relationship with him as we both had ver obscure ideas of what a friendship was.

It seems somewhat better to have one wild element in a relationship than two wild elements. Eitherway the process is difficult and somewhat superficial at times.

I always want to skip past the bit where you ask a person how they are, all the little conversational plesantries that make me cringe. I want to talk to someone about true colours, not what image I want to purvey. Haven't got on well with people who think they're someone - I think they're false and are kidding themself about who they are.

Although - these days, I would take almost any friend that wanted to have a platonic caring relationship.

 

[DogwoodTree]

This actually is true. I may be good at understanding socializing, but I will never understand math. That's why I said that I don't believe there is anything an NT could say that would help an Aspie obtain friends.

Well, the main difference is that you can get along in life just fine without really understanding advanced math at all. Just don't plan on being an engineer or anything. But making friends, being able to thrive in a relationship...those are necessary for survival in the long run. The stakes are much higher, and yet there's still no real solution. The constant failure and hopelessness and loneliness increase the sense of desperation, which as you said, is self-defeating...but almost unavoidable, just like a drowning victim grabbing at their rescuer and making the situation worse, but it's sheer instinct and panic.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Well, the main difference is that you can get along in life just fine without really understanding advanced math at all. Just don't plan on being an engineer or anything. But making friends, being able to thrive in a relationship...those are necessary for survival in the long run. The stakes are much higher, and yet there's still no real solution. The constant failure and hopelessness and loneliness increase the sense of desperation, which as you said, is self-defeating...but almost unavoidable, just like a drowning victim grabbing at their rescuer and making the situation worse, but it's sheer instinct and panic.

Gotta tell you that since I have been able to have friendships, I'd much rather have the math ability or science or physics - some of the things you guys talk about I can't even comprehend. Everyone always wants what they can't have. It's not always easy for an NT to make friends and keep friends, either. When was the last time a math problem ever let you down? NT's can be both lonely and without the Jenius factor. I used to wear a tshirt that said "I'm a Jenius".