Love Yourself First?

[Antonio]

Hi, what do you think of the saying:

"You can't love another person until you love yourself first"

Do you agree with it? If so what does it mean to you?

 

[ancusmitis]

I think it's a load of feel-good positive thinking gibberish that sounds nice but doesn't actually help anything.

Self-esteem culture has given people the idea that you have some sort of duty to have high self-esteem, and anyone who doesn't is therefore shirking. Depressed people end up getting treated like it's their fault. I think we've had enough of that sort of nonsense.

 

[Suzanne]

Can't agree totally, because I do not love myself, but do love, in differing degrees, a few others.

Although it is designed to cause positive feelings about oneself, I actually think it does the opposite and makes some feel that they will never be able to love.

Loving ones self does not contain a magic potion ie one day, wake up and feel great. So, is a person with severe self esteem issues and I put myself into that category, hears that you have to love yourself before loving another, they may lose hope right there and then.

I actually find it rather an arrogant statement, but not sure why.

Anyway, I have a sort of peaceful toleration for myself these days and yet, very much love a few in my life.

 

[tree]

Does this statement come with a definition of terms?

There will be a wide variety of interpretations of the
saying since there is no established meaning of the
active word "love," accompanying the statement.

lol

 

[Warmheart]

I agree completely. Love means understanding the other person, and doing what we can to relieve the other person's suffering. We can only do this when we are in touch with, and understand, our own suffering.

When people want instead to run away from their own uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, how can they be deeply understanding and solid enough to bear the suffering of another?

I believe we are only truly able to offer understanding (and support) once we have learned to sit with our own suffering, and then look to understand it better.

Compassion is born of this understanding-- first of ourselves, and then we are ready to understand and truly be there for the other person.

 

[Beverly]

To me it means to be a person you can love, fix what you can about yourself, be sure you are over any previous romance and, emotionally available. How could I expected anyone else to love me if I hated myself? If that were the case, I'd have to work on me, focus on me until I made some changes, made myself a better person, a person worthy of the love of another and, the only way I have of knowing I've done that is if I love who I am so, yes, I do thing you've got to love yourself before getting into a relationship.

That doesn't mean others can't love you but, if you've got a ton of things about yourself that you are working to change, or should be working to change, then you can't possibly give a relationship the energy and emotional reserves the other person deserves. We all have something we are or can be working on improving about ourselves all of the time but, you can't think you are a terrible, unworthy person and expect a relationship to work for long that way.

 

[Marmot]

 

[Skeleton Canyon]

I hate myself a lot of the time and am in a committed loving relationship

 

[eonbus]

I hate myself a lot of the time and am in a committed loving relationship

dude. why doesnt your girlfriend tell you how much shes love you in her life?

 

[Ste11aeres]

Hi, what do you think of the saying:

"You can't love another person until you love yourself first"

Do you agree with it? If so what does it mean to you?

I think it doesn't really mean anything. Probably everybody loves themself. Anyway, it's not something you have to worry about doing or not doing.