• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Love at first sight. Do you believe it?

Talking to my mom is not even close. Really sorry but I don't buy that. Talking to a girl I don't know is way impossible and nothing like talking to family.
 
I don't believe in love at first sight. The best relationship I've ever had (my current one) started with me assuming he was probably just another jerk.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Talking to my mom is not even close. Really sorry but I don't buy that. Talking to a girl I don't know is way impossible and nothing like talking to family.
Click to expand...

I think if you took part-time work, you would meet woman. Just even cashiering twice a week would get you out there. You cant contemplate what if if you dont put yourself out there. You need to go someplace else besides the church. Convenience stores hire and you meet all kinds of people.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
That's something I can NEVER seem to do, and I had opportunities. How do you know she is feeling the same. You don't as women are a mystery.
Click to expand...

That is part of the game of love, my friend. You don't know she is feeling the same,...until you engage her in some meaningful conversation,...or until she shuts you down before you can even open your mouth...LOL! Having said that,...seriously,...in my example of someone "making eyes" at you repeatedly,...that may be an invite to talk to her.

Women are a mystery,...and I have been married for 34 years,...known her for 36. To this day, I have zero idea what she is thinking. Obviously, you don't need to know what the other is thinking,...that is OK. If you're that interested, engage her in conversation.
 
I have to agree my church is an horrible place to meet girls. I always say guys only show up for Co-ed groups, Church events are the same happy couples with their annoying smiling up the ying yang ironically who meet there spouse at church and very few singles who are single by choice. Too make matters worse no Aspie girls anywhere and we are still doing fake virtual church.

I think soon I am going to look for a new Church this spring, summer that actually has an building too meet in and is hopeful not all couples.
 
Last edited:
I think that love at first sight is a confirmation bias type thing.

You meet someone and think, "hey I like this person a lot" . Most of the time it doesn't turn into anything special.

But one time it does. Wow, love at first sight.

No, this is only one time of many you met someone you fancied. It's just that this one stuck.
 
hatfullofrain said:
I think that love at first sight is a confirmation bias type thing.

You meet someone and think, "hey I like this person a lot" . Most of the time it doesn't turn into anything special.

But one time it does. Wow, love at first sight.

No, this is only one time of many you met someone you fancied. It's just that this one stuck.
Click to expand...

You're basing your judgments on feelings after the fact, while "love at first sights]" is only about the moment of first sight. It's not about deciding later whether it was love at first sight or not. When it happens is when you would make that determination, and it would feel quite obvious.
 
Last edited:
Fino said:
You're basing your judgments on feelings after the fact, while "love at first sights" is only about the moment of first sight. It's not about deciding later whether it was love at first sight or not. When it happens is when you would make that determination, and it would feel quite obvious.
Click to expand...

Maybe I didn't explain well.

When people say "It was love at first sight," usually that's when they're telling you about the person that they are with. So they are looking back.

I'm not saying that they didn't experience intense feelings upon meeting that person. I'm commenting on the moment when they call it love at first sight. Not many people will tell you, "I just met this gorgeous guy half an hour ago. It's love at first sight." You would think they were loopy. My friends would laugh at me if I said that so soon.

The guy I like now, the first time I saw him and he spoke to me went like this: He walked into the room and walked up to me and said hello. He knew who I was because someone had mentioned me to him and he wanted to talk to me. I knew that I had an attraction to him straight away A) he's gorgeous B) he was very friendly and easy to talk to. I don't know if he did feel a spark for me in that moment. I won't call it love at first sight because love is deeper than that. But yes, I do think that you can have feelings aroused upon first sight. I believe it happens often, but I don't think it usually grows into anything.

Funny thing is, I didn't see him for a year or two after that and he forgot about me. Thanks mate. I was visiting some friends and I didn't know that he would be there. I walked into the room and our eyes met. His face lit up and he gave me a big smile. Which made me think he remembered me, but when I went over to say hello, he introduced himself to me. So we had "that moment" twice lol. But it's not love. It's just attraction.

And, still nothing has come of it.
 
hatfullofrain said:
I walked into the room and our eyes met. His face lit up and he gave me a big smile. Which made me think he remembered me, but when I went over to say hello, he introduced himself to me. So we had "that moment" twice lol.
Click to expand...
Maybe, he is face-blind...?
 
Crossbreed said:
Maybe, he is face-blind...?
Click to expand...

No, I don't think so. We hadn't seen each other for a few years. I think that's normal.

I just thought it was amusing that his face lit up when he saw me, but it was just because he saw a pretty lady, not because he knew me. That doesn't ever really happen to me.
 
I would say it depends, since we have to properly define what it means. True, you can sometimes feel attracted almost immediately to someone based on their looks first, however, you can also feel a connection sparking because you felt attracted not only to their looks but maybe to some aspect of their character.

This can be influenced or maybe biased based on the circumstances you meet this person, your mood at the moment, the way this person showed themselves to you, the way they spoke or how they interacted with you.

The main idea in my opinion is to be very cautious, to not start to develop ideas or feelings for someone you just met. Play it safe, talk first, get to know the person and let time decide, no one is in a hurry, even if it might feel that way sometimes.
 
I am just happy that there is no such thing as disgust at first sight. I first met my wife when I went to her apartment to couch surf before driving down together for a Sierra Club outing. I was out fossil collecting that day and it started raining and the site turned into a festival of mud. Then I had car problems on top of that. So I showed up on her doorstep, looking like a filthy, drowned, rat. She actually took me in and things went better from there.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom