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Love at first sight. Do you believe it?

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by Tony Ramirez, Apr 13, 2021.

  1. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    I believe it's so far fetched I rather believe that I will be struck by lightning then love at first sight.

    If anything when you see a girl it's one way you love her she don't give an dang about you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2021
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  2. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    This can happen for woman too. You are just thinking like wow, is this guy for real? But it happens that they may feel connections differently then you. Either intense, not intense, or no feelings at all. We are all made and respond differently. Just think of Sims, you just never know what will happen.
     
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  3. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    I refuse to believe it. I want to say that it never happened but that might be a lie. A woman kept looking at me at an bus stop a long time ago and my Grandfather said she looked, smiled and might have liked me. Of course I had no idea.

    That was then, this is now girls completely ignore me unless they already know me from somewhere which does not count.

    Of course I don't understand woman they might be one rarely interested in me and I don't notice it.
     
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  4. VictorR

    VictorR Random Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes. The powers of attraction can manifest in unusual ways, and sometimes (and this may depend on your religious and cultural views) things are just meant to be, or not meant to be.

    Also, in Dr. Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome, he starts and ends the book with a story of a child with AS, drawing from his clinical experience. It ends with... love at first sight.
     
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  5. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Men are very visual. So love at first sight is possible. Some woman l think are visual too.
     
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  6. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    How do you know you would be liked back?
     
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  7. _eri_bellehumeur

    _eri_bellehumeur Active Member

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    Women have been trained to be extremely discerning. It is an unfortunate necessity for survival, so in my experience it's been men who believe in "love at first sight" or at least feel physically/emotionally safe enough to voice this, though as has already been stated, what they are more likely experiencing is a simple physical attraction void of any real connection. Women have to worry more about predators so I think they shut down any feelings that immediately come up for a person (especially when nothing is known about them) so as to not rush into a personal relationship with somebody who may be threatening, or simply dishonest about their feelings/intent in order to manipulate women into their bed.
    From what I have seen and experienced, it seems more often that same-sex partners (or individuals with interest in same-sex persons) describe their relationships/interest as "love at first sight", perhaps because of being similarly societally conditioned, feeling safer, etc.
     
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  8. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I remember the very first moment that I saw a certain person, like a movie in my head. My whole life immediately began to revolve around that person. I didn't recognize that I was in love until after we started dating, though.

    It's a fascinating concept to think about.
     
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  9. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Lust at first sight is always possible.

    Love happens a bit later, if you're lucky.
     
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  10. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝️

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    I believe that it's favorable human pheromones at first [whiff?].* Even when the effect is mutual, that doesn't guarantee that the couple is compatible with each other. And that is extremely disappointing!!!

    It is also awkward if it happens when you are engaged or married to somebody and you aren't even looking for anybody else. My wife & I have both experienced this so we don't fault each other. We just avoid such people.

    When you are looking for a mate --and one of my sons gets this-- it is a box that you definitely want to tick, but it is not the only one.

    *Human pheromones are individually distinct and only have selective appeal.
     
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  11. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I believe, because it happened once in my life.
    Pheromones it may be, but, it seems the feeling was mutual even though it took a while to express it.
    We were both Aspies.

    I was doing a part time inventory job when they brought in a new guy and put him on the same row
    in the store as myself and a few others.
    It wasn't looks or lust at first sight. It was only a matter minutes when I knew I liked his personality.
    Just like a magnet I was attracted... (pheromones)? Probably.

    Lunch time came and we all went to the cafeteria where the two of us were just pulled together
    picking out what we wanted and went to a table together.
    How do you know when it's love? For us, both being Aspies, I think immediately feeling comfortable
    looking each other in the eyes as we talked.
    Yes, it was the eyes that I found physically appealing.

    He was the first man I felt in love with and the first in, well, you know everything that follows. :oops:
    It was a long term relationship of many years.
     
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  12. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    Sure, when I see a tasty cut of fish or chicken or berries I fall in love at first sight.
     
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  13. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member

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    I think it is a rare thing. However,...and I am not sure this is love at first sight, per se,...but there is something to say about that rush of excitement when you and the other person lock eyes from across the room for the first time,...and again,...and again,...before you actually get enough nerve to walk up to them and introduce yourself. It's almost like two lost lover's souls from previously lived lives finally recognize each other. I am not sure what that is, but it's pretty cool.
     
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  14. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    Like for some of us, it feels like l knew you in another lifetime.
     
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  15. PastelPetals

    PastelPetals Well-Known Member

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    My mother told me that she knew that she would marry my dad before they dated (the context is she has moved back home after college and he lived near her and she needed somebody to talk to since she was all alone without friends close by. However she told a friend that she didn't want to talk to him since she thought she would end up falling in love and getting married and she thought she was too young)...well they did get married and will be for 20 years in a couple months. But they were in the same friend group so it was not first sight. I don't think love at first sight exist but interest at first sight does.
     
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  16. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    l looked into a cat's eyes at humane society and fell in love. He was a beautiful cat. He liked lobster but not tuna. He was starving when the humane society received him. He looked for food everyday on our counters because he felt the food would stop. He also hated anything big and red. Balloons, pickup trucks, red shirts. So we wondered if he had been abused. l think he was a British shorthair. He would walk on the side of me without a leash for about a block and back again. Love at first sight, interest at first sight, call it what you want. Supposedly some of us have types. That will likely be a connection. Your type becomes more apparent as you get older l feel.
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2021
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  17. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think it's possible to experience varying levels of instant attraction, from slight to intense. I think it is based on looks, mannerisms, and what the non-verbals suggest about personality. But as they say you can't always judge a book by it's cover, so the reality doesn't always match the hope/expectation.

    The strongest one I experienced was when a new person showed up at our Air Force Radar site in Germany. She was in civilian clothes and her assigned sponser was just showing her around the first (non duty) day. I saw her walk towards me down the central corridor. For one, I thought her drop dead gorgeous, but maybe more importantly the way she walked slowly and looked at everything to right and left thoughfully suggested to me an intelligent, thoughtful and maybe a little spacey girl. In other words perfection. We are still married 35 years later, she is super intelligent, caring and I still think her gorgeous. How lucky is that! :)
     
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  18. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    Well I don't believe in love at first sight especially since 9/10 you have to talk to her first which I can't seem to never do. I can only talk to her if I know her already.
     
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  19. Tony Ramirez

    Tony Ramirez Christian with Asperger's Syndrome

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    That's something I can NEVER seem to do, and I had opportunities. How do you know she is feeling the same. You don't as women are a mystery.
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2021
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  20. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝️

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    Can you talk to your mom or other women in your family?
    The pheromonal effect is intoxicating and, when both feel it, it creates an instant sense of familiarity.
     
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