Losing a pet

[Greenfingers]

Thank you everyone for your kind words.I am a fanatical gardener hence my name " Greenfingers".Must admit being in the garden today was difficult without my companion Tilly watching.But I have many happy memories and I have ordered a memorial plaque to put in a special place, where we will scatter her ashes.I will also plant a shrub.

 

[HelzBelz]

Hi everyone,
Two days ago we had to have our pet rabbit Tilly Rose put to sleep.She was 9 years old.I am not usually a crier but I am feeling devastated.She was the first pet I had ever looked after.I never really cared about having a pet and truthfully when my friends lost their pets did not feel much empathy.( for which I now feel guilty about). Tilly was seriously cute and full of fun and a great comfort, part of my daily scheduled life.
I suppose my reason for posting this,is to ask whether what seems to me to be an extreme reaction to Tilly's death is normal.My husband wants to get a dog in the future and I am anxious as I feel I will not want to get close to it.

I've noticed others out there seem to expect different levels of grief depending on the pet. 'They' seem to think being really upset over losing a dog is ok (but for a short period of time), but a rat or fish you're not expected to have the same level of grief. Personally I don't think emotions can be denied, and if you need to work through the grief process before being able to move on, then let yourself. I know I will be devastated when I lose my old dog as he has been my support through my darkest days, and I couldn't just go out and get a puppy. I've cried and held my sobbing daughter as we buried one of our rats. I'd say it's normal; just 'them out there' either don't feel the same or don't want to admit it.

 

[Streetwise]

If you're in the UK the springwatch bbc team have a rabbit cam i thought about you when i was watching 20 minutes ago ,DONT know about tivo on bbc America

Thank you everyone for your kind words.I am a fanatical gardener hence my name " Greenfingers".Must admit being in the garden today was difficult without my companion Tilly watching.But I have many happy memories and I have ordered a memorial plaque to put in a special place, where we will scatter her ashes.I will also plant a shrub.

 

[wight]

Greenfingers, my Cooper (German Shepherd) was such a vast and intertwined part of my life, that I still get a little lump in my throat when I think about him (6 years by now). I was inconsolably sad for weeks. So yea, your emotions are very normal.

 

[icesyckel]

If I was being honest, then I am still grieving the loss of my collie last year. Very few people loved me like that dog did, and I don't really know if I will ever be over losing her.

Ironically, I am not typically a very emotional person, but you hit on one subject for which I do tend to get weepy.

 

[Streetwise]

If I was being honest, then I am still grieving the loss of my collie last year. Very few people loved me like that dog did, and I don't really know if I will ever be over losing her.

Ironically, I am not typically a very emotional person, but you hit on one subject for which I do tend to get weepy.

I cant talk about my pet it was nearly the same as yours its been longer than yours

 

[Streetwise]

BUt i suffer from panic disorder and no therapy has cured it -so IM sort like a soldier who is suffering ptsd -still traumatised so my memory is instructed to give very little info

 

[Aeolienne]

I suppose my reason for posting this is to ask whether what seems to me to be an extreme reaction to Tilly's death is normal. My husband wants to get a dog in the future and I am anxious as I feel I will not want to get close to it.

The agony aunt Virginia Ironside once wrote a piece about coping with a pet's death in which she made the point that the relationship between owner and pet is very similar to that between parent and child. Losing a child is said to be the worst bereavement of all, so looked at it that way it's not so surprising that people can be so shattered by the loss of the pet. I can't find Virginia Ironside's original piece but it seems she has written a whole book on the topic which is mentioned here:
Dealing with grief
Hope this helps.

 

[Major Tom]

When my dog Buddy passed 5 years ago, for a long, long time the house felt so empty. I still miss him, I buried him in his favorite spot in my back yard, and got a portrait tattoo of him as well. Pets are so important in my life. I don't feel complete if I am not caring (and being cared for) by an animal. The bonds I feel with dogs are stronger than 99% of people I know.

I do not think you are being over emotional or irrational at all. Losing a loved pet is one of the toughest things there is for a pet owner.

 

[Aeolienne]

When my cat died a friend told me "He's gone through the Pearly Cat-Flap" which cheered me up a bit.
Of another cat I said "He's scampered up the stairway to heaven" (he was never one to take stairs at a moderate pace!) <3

 

[DuckRabbit]

"The great tragedy is that the final and harshest lesson the dog teaches is the one the child must face alone, with no fur to cry against. ‘So why in Heaven (before we are there)/ Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?’ cried Kipling. Because — as he knew well and our child knows now — of that shared, unflinching love." ~ Claudia Massie
Source: Why every child should know a dog | The Spectator

Many similar sentiments on this thread to these:
Higher empathy for animals?
A small act on your part to brighten an animal's life
I do feel animals are the guardian angels of those who don't feel as 'at home' on this planet as other people, as discuss on this thread:
How do you handle humiliations?

 

[Blue]

Sorry your rabbit died. I used to get hamsters as pets but stopped because I couldn't handle them dying in a year and a half. Now I live with my cat.

 

[Dorkasour]

I own a rabbit jamed Jiji. I constantly think about upset I will be when she leaves my life. I love her so much and so much closer to her than people. I think it's normal to cry. Crying just shows how much you cared about your best friend (rabbit)

 

[Gracey]

I wouldn't think your feelings of loss are extreme at all.

I'm led to believe an attachment to companion animals is greater for an Aspie.
Stands to reason that loss will be keenly felt. (Usual, not extreme)

I am sorry this has happened to you.

If it's any comfort, cherish the ability to feel unconditional love for another living thing.

It is heartbreaking when we have to say goodbye. The intense ache and sorrow means we experienced love for the life time of our animals.


I feel the loss of my pets keenly. So much so I vow to never have to experience that sort of pain again ...
...I'm on my third dog