• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Losing a pet

Greenfingers

Greenfingers

Active Member
Hi everyone,
Two days ago we had to have our pet rabbit Tilly Rose put to sleep.She was 9 years old.I am not usually a crier but I am feeling devastated.She was the first pet I had ever looked after.I never really cared about having a pet and truthfully when my friends lost their pets did not feel much empathy.( for which I now feel guilty about). Tilly was seriously cute and full of fun and a great comfort, part of my daily scheduled life.
I suppose my reason for posting this,is to ask whether what seems to me to be an extreme reaction to Tilly's death is normal.My husband wants to get a dog in the future and I am anxious as I feel I will not want to get close to it.
 
Greenfingers said:
Hi everyone,
Two days ago we had to have our pet rabbit Tilly Rose put to sleep.She was 9 years old.I am not usually a crier but I am feeling devastated.She was the first pet I had ever looked after.I never really cared about having a pet and truthfully when my friends lost their pets did not feel much empathy.( for which I now feel guilty about). Tilly was seriously cute and full of fun and a great comfort, part of my daily scheduled life.
I suppose my reason for posting this,is to ask whether what seems to me to be an extreme reaction to Tilly's death is normal.My husband wants to get a dog in the future and I am anxious as I feel I will not want to get close to it.
Click to expand...
Its just different from people who include animals as just part of their being
its stillindescribable
 
I like animals better than i do most people, and get more upset when a pet dies than i do when people i know have died, i dont have much empathy with the human race, but animals are beautiful and bring more joy to my life than any human apart from my ol' mum.
 
Open your heart again. That is what it is for.

Losing a person I love doesn't mean loss forever. I got married again and became happy again.

It's the same way with pets. Look at the nine years of love you got... the hurt is still smaller.

Get that dog. Love it. It's what we are here on Earth to do.
 
Doesn't seem as extreme reaction to me, when one of my sisters cats was run over she was inconsolable for weeks, as in 'regularly bursting into tears at work and being given a weeks paid leave to recover' inconsolable. Give yourself some time to grieve, you'll be fine sooner or later, and eventually will be ready to love another pet as much as you loved your rabbit.
 
I know how you feel :( I lost my emotional support dog, Maggie about two weeks ago. I wrote about it here on my blog. I miss her so much still, I painted a picture of her and put it in her spot and it makes me sad still. I want another dog but I don't want to train it to be as amazing as my Maggie was <3
 
Greenfingers said:
Hi everyone,
Two days ago we had to have our pet rabbit Tilly Rose put to sleep.She was 9 years old.I am not usually a crier but I am feeling devastated.She was the first pet I had ever looked after.I never really cared about having a pet and truthfully when my friends lost their pets did not feel much empathy.( for which I now feel guilty about). Tilly was seriously cute and full of fun and a great comfort, part of my daily scheduled life.
I suppose my reason for posting this,is to ask whether what seems to me to be an extreme reaction to Tilly's death is normal.My husband wants to get a dog in the future and I am anxious as I feel I will not want to get close to it.
Click to expand...
hi greenfingers, i take it you are the person with ASD and not your husband,if so its a perfectly normal reaction.
reason being,many on the spectrum relate to animals better than people and without even knowing it you might have had a profound connection with your rabbit and i am not surprised you react that way, its perfectly normal for people to grieve in their own way.

i have had many beloved pets die on me,as i was a rat rescuer in my years before institutionalisation and i also have had many rescued cats eventually die on me,plus a rabbit,guinea pigs and lots of fish who all had the same deep connection to me as a so called 'normal' person would to another human.
even if i see a lifeless animal on the road i am deeply distrought and have to bury them as humans wouldnt allow that to happen to a human,i love animals more than anything or anyone and i find what helps me is to read the 'rainbow bridge poem' -just google it,i honestly recommend reading it green fingers but be aware it may make you feel strong things but for me it helps me hold out hope for my pets that we will meet again.
basically the rainbow bridge concept is just a persons interpretation of how heaven is for animals,you dont have to be religeous to read the poem i dont think.

i also find making a memory box helpful,you can put in it your rabbits food bowl,photos of him,a bit of hair cut from him,write out some good memories of him and cut each memory out so that you can pick one out each time your feeling low,i have done this for some of my pets but for the ones i did not do it it didnt mean i didnt love them any less,i just grieved differently.
 
It was hard for me when I lost my pet fish a few years ago. I was planning to get a new fish one day but never got around to it.
 
I'm so Roy you miss Dear Tilly Rose. I bet she felt so very loved during her life with you.

When my last dog passed away, I had a four months of misery.... but, he gave me many, many YEARS of wonderful joy, love, laughter, and true happiness.

I did get another dog. He is now 10.5 years old, and I treasure the silly games we share, the sloppy kisses, the goofy adventures. When he transitions from this life, I will again be in terrible pain. However, so far, 10.5 years of silly, love, happiness...

As long as my heart has love to give, I will always welcome a sweet, furry soul to give my love to.
 
Greenfingers said:
Hi everyone,
Two days ago we had to have our pet rabbit Tilly Rose put to sleep.She was 9 years old.I am not usually a crier but I am feeling devastated.She was the first pet I had ever looked after.I never really cared about having a pet and truthfully when my friends lost their pets did not feel much empathy.( for which I now feel guilty about). Tilly was seriously cute and full of fun and a great comfort, part of my daily scheduled life.
I suppose my reason for posting this,is to ask whether what seems to me to be an extreme reaction to Tilly's death is normal.My husband wants to get a dog in the future and I am anxious as I feel I will not want to get close to it.
Click to expand...
I have felt even sadder when a pet dies than when a person dies for some reason. I cried for 3 days when my rabbit died. Now I am already dealing with anxiety about my when my dog will eventually die. I think having a high level of other stressors makes it worse. I am not sure if I want another pet after my dog dies. I even consider whether I want to deal with death before even getting another fish. Is that normal or healthy? Probably not, but it's where I am.
 
I lost my cat of 15 years nearly four months ago and I still cry almost every day. You need to let yourself grieve. Don't push it back because you're not sure if it's normal. It is very normal, and very painful. Like many of the people here, I love animals more than I care about people. They are beautiful creatures, selfless and so very loving. That is why they touch our hearts so, and I'm sure that Tilly Rose is now playing with my baby girl Frida over the rainbow bridge. :catface::rabbitface:
 
Danny 74 said:
I like animals better than i do most people, and get more upset when a pet dies than i do when people i know have died, i dont have much empathy with the human race, but animals are beautiful and bring more joy to my life than any human apart from my ol' mum.
Click to expand...

This is me ^^
 
I cannot say I like animals more than people... though often, people interpret it that way.

What I do is see animals as people.
 
WereBear said:
I cannot say I like animals more than people... though often, people interpret it that way.

What I do is see animals as people.
Click to expand...
i have a different understanding but along the same lines, i personally see animals as more superior to humans,they dont bully you they dont abuse you they are truly a gift from somewhere that unfortunately humans abuse and take advantage of,no one apart from animal lovers cares about them, people drive their cars at cats/foxes/birds etc expecting them to run which often never happens,i have grabbed the wheel before when a support staff drove fast at a pigeon as she thought he was a pest,to me they are beautiful creatures put here for a reason.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom