Loneliness still affects me

[lunarious]

No, thanks.

You're asking a question.

But ok

 

[Markness]

The Solution to the Loneliness Epidemic Might be Cuddle Therapy

I’ve never heard of this before nor has my therapist mentioned it to me.

EDIT: It’s apparently only available in Austin as far as Texas goes.

 

[tree]

I’ve never heard of this before nor has my therapist mentioned it to me.

Texas has some really ridiculous laws. Even getting an escort is highly difficult.

According to the linked material, 'cuddle therapy' is non-sexual,
bears no resemblance to the services which might be provided
by an escort or prostitute.

 

[Wizardry]

I’ve never heard of this before nor has my therapist mentioned it to me.

EDIT: It’s apparently only available in Austin as far as Texas goes.

Fortunately that's not true. As I recall, you live in Temple. This Google Search says there are at least 4 cuddle therapists in that area. If I've got your area wrong, google search "cuddle comfort <your area>" and you should get results. Cuddle therapists are few and far between, but they are out there.

 

[Markness]

Fortunately that's not true. As I recall, you live in Temple. This Google Search says there are at least 4 cuddle therapists in that area. If I've got your area wrong, google search "cuddle comfort <your area>" and you should get results. Cuddle therapists are few and far between, but they are out there.

I don’t know why it hasn’t been talked about nor recommended to me by people in person, though. I suppose it’s because there are stigmas against therapies in the crummy culture I live in.

 

[Wizardry]

I don’t know why it hasn’t been talked about nor recommended to me by people in person, though. I suppose it’s because there are stigmas against therapies in the crummy culture I live in.

It's kind of niche and like I said before, most people don't live with the kind of loneliness and touch starvation that we do. The kind of depression that is induced by long-term loneliness and social skills issues isn't the same kind of depression that psychologists and therapists are trained to treat.

If I were you, I'd evaluate what kinds of results your regular therapy has been getting you, and consider giving it up if you don't think it's really helping you. Your money is probably better-spent elsewhere imo.

What do you think about hiring a dating coach to help you build your dating and social skills?

 

[Markness]

What do you think about hiring a dating coach to help you build your dating and social skills?

I actually paid for a dating agency back in 2021 for about $100-150 (I don’t remember exactly how much.) and spent some hours filling out a psychological evaluation form they gave me. They essentially told me after the fact I needed to be in a better state mentally before they would consider offering their services to me.

As for hiring a dating coach, I am currently struggling financially. I can’t even afford spending on hobbies.

 

[Wizardry]

I actually paid for a dating agency back in 2021 for about $100-150 (I don’t remember exactly how much.) and spent some hours filling out a psychological evaluation form they gave me. They essentially told me after the fact I needed to be in a better state mentally before they would consider offering their services to me.

As for hiring a dating coach, I am currently struggling financially. I can’t even afford spending on hobbies.

Could you save up money to hire a dating coach? It might take some time, but it could be a life-changing investment. I already have some money saved up so it's likely that I'll start seeing a dating coach before you're able to. If so, I'll let you know how worthwhile I find it.

You could start cuddle therapy in the meantime to increase your oxytocin levels and get some human touch. As someone who's had it, I'd recommend it for you. It's done more for me than psychologists ever have.

Personally, I think you're ultimately going to need the dating coaching to improve your chances of succeeding with dating. Maybe you can't start it now, but you can do other things to put yourself in a better position for dating at the moment.

 

[Mary Terry]

I don’t know why it hasn’t been talked about nor recommended to me by people in person, though. I suppose it’s because there are stigmas against therapies in the crummy culture I live in.

There probably are lots of places where the idea of a stranger touching and cuddling patients' bodies is cringey. Maybe try a professional massage therapist? They don't "cuddle".

 

[Wizardry]

There probably is stigma in a lot of places about the idea of some stranger touching and cuddling the bodies of "patients". It's cringey to me despite the assertion that it is non-sexual.

If the cuddle therapist is happy enough to offer the service, and the client benefits from it, who is anybody else to judge?

Touch starvation is a real thing. Not everybody is lucky enough to have a romantic partner to be intimate with.

Humans don't seek out intimacy just because. There are biochemical reactions to human connection and intimacy, and missing out on those entirely can do demonstrable harm.

The way people are able to take care of each other's brain chemicals Is where the term "chemistry" comes from with regard to dating and compatibility.

 

[Mary Terry]

If the cuddle therapist is happy enough to offer the service, and the client benefits from it, who is anybody else to judge?

Touch starvation is a real thing. Not everybody is lucky enough to have a romantic partner to be intimate with.

Humans don't seek out intimacy just because. There are biochemical reactions to human connection and intimacy, and missing out on those entirely can do demonstrable harm.

The way people are able to take care of each other's brain chemicals Is where the term "chemistry" comes from with regard to dating and compatibility.

I understand that, Wizardry. I was responding to @Markness' speculation that therapies are stigmatized where he lives.

 

[Mary Terry]

Another thought, @Markness, is for you to volunteer your time to help others less fortunate than you. Self-care can mean caring for others. When we experience compassion and act on it by helping someone else, the body often shifts from an anxious threat response (high cortisol, sympathetic activation a/k/a stress response) to a care-and-connect-to-others response, linked to oxytocin. Neurologically, compassion activates areas of the brain related to empathy, emotion regulation, and reward.

This has been known by religions for thousands of years but conveniently forgotten by modern pop culture led by businesses and politicians who strive to make us believe that "others" are the cause of our ills and depressions and that we are victims of "others".

It is better to give than to receive and helping others makes us feel good about ourselves.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I'm volunteering on Saturday at a garden, it's great. Love the people there. It is a start of my healing process of my RSD, however the other places I go are still major triggers where I see PDA, friend groups and feel excluded like I have no friends.

 

[Crabcore]

Honestly, the best way to get into an intimate relationship with another human is to learn how to love yourself first. If you believe you are worth the effort, people will pick up on that and see you as a viable option. And you are worth the effort. But you have to believe it yourself.

I think this advice gets repeated a lot, but I don't think any of that stops people from getting into relationships. Granted, some of those might be toxic, but I'd argue that everyone needs to go through the toxic ones before they realize who their ideal partner is, so I think a lot of the 'practice' actually happens with other humans and not in isolation.

Isolation, or working on yourself alone is just a dead end (imo), no matter how appealing it sounds. We don't grow without others