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Living with my parents ruins what I want to do in life

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by Matthew Behnke, Feb 15, 2020.

  1. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    They said I can travel to Russia with them after I learn the language to become more advanced and they are saving money for going abroad, we have only been to Mexico and Canada, but my mom started having doubts about my long-distance relationship, I felt kind of hurt about it because I felt like my head was put up by the girl I liked from Russia, and I feel a lot of obstacles that were there were put down because I believed in love.

    I feel like everyday is an obstacle and that I would rather not live with them anymore because they make life very hard for me, I want to achieve learning a language so I can get out of the house and find experiences, relationships in other parts of the world instead of being with them.

    And to be honest, I never really had much of a childhood either, I just stayed in school and my life turned around in one year where I am not in school and about to grow into my teenage years, what is true happiness to people on this forums? Living at home with their parents when they are adults without relationships? I would rather stay with someone that cares and has passion for my humanity, spirituality, and from reading all the threads on this forum, I wouldn't want to make the same mistakes the adults did and stayed alone forever.

    The people being alone in their homes since they were in their childhood shows the mistakes of making poor choices and not living life, I get people on this forum think kids should just wait until their an adult but don't they want those same kids to avoid making the same mistakes they did and didn't do anything fulfilling in life instead of wasting many opportunities they could have chosen?
     
  2. Yeshuasdaughter

    Yeshuasdaughter Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    This is a common belief for kids your age.

    You will be fine.

    Just be patient. Stop thinking about it. Everything will work out.

    Trust your parents. They love you more than you'll ever know.

    No one gets "much of a childhood". Life is life. Stuff happens.

    You'll be okay.
     
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  3. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    I think you'll find that the definition of "happiness" varies quite wildly from one person to the next.

    There are some here that want the same things that you want. There are others (such as myself) that have zero desire for those things whatsoever. If we dont want those things, then avoiding them isnt really a mistake.

    I know that society teaches that everyone does/should want the same things. But society is also dumber than a sack of hammers. One of the best lessons you can learn, particularly at your age, is that not everyone has to follow the same ideas, and if someone doesnt follow an idea, it doesnt mean there's something wrong with them, or that they are "missing out", or have even made any mistakes.
     
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  4. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    There is nothing wrong with boring, or what you think is boring... My childhood and family wasn't anything all that exciting but it was a loving family...

    Within this past week I've heard stories from friends, via poetry readings... Stories I haven't heard before, of rather traumatic childhoods that definitely scarred them... And I might add they did overcome them in adulthood

    I've heard some similar stories here on the forum as well, you will be okay! :)
     
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  5. Schism

    Schism Well-Known Member

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    So what's your alternative scenario here? Run away to the wild? Live on the streets? Go into care? None of which would be advisable. Predator bait.

    You said yourself in a similar post, why can't we be more like animals?. .or words to that effect. We are pack animals. Like it or not, your parents supply your basic needs & protect you right now.

    You might not agree with them but have some appreciation for what they provide for you. There will come a time you can strike out for physical independence, but not right now.. You can be mentally & intellectually independent however, but be rational here. You need them right now. They provide & clearly care for you. It might not seem like it to you but from what you've said, they have your wellbeing at heart. Try & meet them on middle ground. Future life will be so much easier. Peace not war right?

    Edit: Being multilingual will greatly add to your life & work choices in the future. This is to be encouraged! But purely for the languages, cultures & experiences to be had!
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2020
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  6. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am sorry, its just I literally have facial hair growing under my face and yes your right I am like a wild animal for that reason because I am mentally mad.
     
  7. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    But I am sorry for misunderstanding you, I thought you were gonna say something completely different and was afraid to scroll down.
     
  8. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    Growing facial hair at 14 is completely normal (assuming you are biologically male). Humans are animals (we are primates) and growing hair on the face and other parts of the body is a normal part of male puberty. Has your dad not taught you to shave?

    At your age the only alternative options to living with your parents is to live with other family (which we can't know is a viable option or not) or to go into foster care, which trust me you do not want.
     
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  9. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I know its normal but it probably wen't faster than others because I was extremely stressed for months and didn't know what to do, it makes me seem like I am crazy when I think about how much I had to go through.
     
  10. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    Stress doesn't make facial hair grow faster.
     
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  11. Matthew Behnke

    Matthew Behnke Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Okay, I am sorry, either way, what I went through didn't help me mentally and the fact it only takes one anxious thought to make life unhappy for me again shows it won't be better, I should just be sent to a mental hospital so I can stop doubting myself and doing the wrong things.
     
  12. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    Ok, as I said in your other thread you should discuss this with your parents and ask them to help you arrange to see a psychologist or other mental health professional.
     
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