Life...

[Dalton]

Everyday i feel like I’m breaking out of my ‘autistic shell’ & moving onto a more normal one instead. I really am not sure how to explain this but can anyone relate?!?!?

 

[felines are superior]

I can, because it happened to me long ago.

I was in my early twenties and needed more company. That's before I knew about Asperger. But I'd been such a loner and exhausted by company very easily all my life. As a child and teen, I was happier when alone. And suddenly I started thinking about friendship, a romantic relationship, having a baby...

I've tried so hard to fit in during those years, unsuccessfully. Even my general anxiety got somehow milder, and I've more or less gotten over my social anxieties as well.

It stayed this way for several years, and now I went back to my old self again, the one who's happier when alone and is exhausted with company.

 

[Progster]

Yes, I went through a more 'stable period in my late twenties/early thirties where I was more social, more outgoing, more emotionally mature and stable, stable employment. Then I crashed; I burned out and I just can't do it any more. I can't go back to where I was. I never really became less autistic - it never goes away - I just became more able to cope with social and general anxiety, and with emotional issues, had more confidence so appeared to be 'normal'- or so I thought at the time - except I wasn't, because I still had the social and cognitive issues and as I got older, found it harder and harder to cope, then one or two autistic traits that I hadn't experienced for a while came back very strongly - a new obessive interest that took over my life, perhaps as a way to try to cope with the stress, and that led to various issues and consequences I won't go into detail here... I developed severe anxiety, depression and had to give up work, and it is at this point that I was diagnosed with Asperger's.

So my advice to you would be not to try to take on too much, as you get older, stress becomes harder to deal with and you don't want to crash or burn out.

 

[Apleba]

It's probably very personal every time, isn't it?
However, it is interesting to hear that there may be similar patterns that people experience during their lives.

I am every time surprised how I managed to do some things that are totally uncomfortable for me - at those times I also felt like I'm breaking through my own shell, and I was so happy that I finally learned to cope with some things.

Sadly, it all came back again. I could be that 'different' person for a while, even for a couple of years or so, but it was so exhausting. I am back to my old self, and it seems that every time I'm back, it gets worse because of that exhaustion.

 

[ksheehan88]

In my late teens/early twenties I did a lot of socialising, mostly going out to nightclubs and drinking. Fast forward 5 or 6 years and no thank you, not for me anymore, except for one or two people.

 

[Tom]

I had more NT period (with much effort) in late teens, 20s. But ASD was never gone. I was just hiding it in a closet literally (as in my special interest materials). After marriage it re-emerged.

 

[Cactus]

Yes, I went through a more 'stable period in my late twenties/early thirties where I was more social, more outgoing, more emotionally mature and stable, stable employment. Then I crashed; I burned out and I just can't do it any more. I can't go back to where I was. I never really became less autistic - it never goes away - I just became more able to cope with social and general anxiety, and with emotional issues, had more confidence so appeared to be 'normal'- or so I thought at the time - except I wasn't, because I still had the social and cognitive issues and as I got older, found it harder and harder to cope, then one or two autistic traits that I hadn't experienced for a while came back very strongly - a new obessive interest that took over my life, perhaps as a way to try to cope with the stress, and that led to various issues and consequences I won't go into detail here... I developed severe anxiety, depression and had to give up work, and it is at this point that I was diagnosed with Asperger's.

So my advice to you would be not to try to take on too much, as you get older, stress becomes harder to deal with and you don't want to crash or burn out.

I truly thought I was the only one with this problem. I find it very difficult to deal with a certain type of person, usually found at work in a supervisory position. My anxiety level has increased enormously. Being unemployed makes me feel like a useless bum, which, of course, raises my anxiety level. Life in general seems to have gotten a lot harder. I try not to dwell on it.

 

[Nihil]

Been trying to socialize a little more at work. Not always easy, but I'm kind of tired of pushing people away.

 

[SusanLR]

Yes, I went through a more 'stable period in my late twenties/early thirties where I was more social, more outgoing, more emotionally mature and stable, stable employment.

Same here - 23 to 36 were my most stable, sociable, and workable years.
At 37, I thought I had made it past a lot of the earlier social and anxiety problems.
Then I had to go into a hospital inpatient for a severe allergic reation which was
my first time in a hospital overnight.
It did something to me emotionally and the anxiety came back.
I learned to cope, but, was never as strong as twenties to mid thirties.
Things were stable until 2013 when I found myself with no family or close friends.
I'm like still in a PTSD, emotionally and physiologically.

 

[balsabonbon]

I don't think I can break out/away from being an Aspie. I've spent most of my life trying to be like everybody else, and I've been pretty frikking miserable most of the time, as I've felt lost and misunderstood and confused and like I didn't belong. Honestly, it's only been since I've started to embrace being an Aspie that I've started to feel like me and feel like I belong and am okay just as I am. At the time, I thought that all the years that I spent masking were when I was being the best version of me, but I was really only reflecting back what/who the people around me wanted me to be.