Life has been hell

[Limerentchick]

I've been fired at every job I've been at for not picking it up quick enough, essentially not being smart enough to begin with even though I have severe ADHD and a learning disability (yes autism too but I don't think the cognitive problems I have are directly from it, everyone else that's level 1 doesn't have this issue. I've tried vocational rehab but they told me they couldn't give me any prior training or a job coach, they didn't even have any partnerships with employers.

The next day they had me sit in a conference room with 6 other teenagers and they spoke to us like we were braindead, they just told me stuff I was already doing and it was a complete waste of gas money and time, the guy just told me to disclose my disability when I get hired again like that'd help, I've heard countless of horror stories where a person disclosed their disability and they were fired indirectly afterwards, I'm a hard worker but no one realizes that, I actually care, I'm a dedicated person when it's something I really give a crap about.

No matter how hard I try, ITS NEVER good enough for anyone and no I cannot self employ myself, I don't have the skills to do that first off I have zero talents and the attention span of a goldfish, no adhd meds help and the one I'm on my idiot psychiatrist doesn't let me take it every day when I really need it.

I've learned how to drive and have my drivers license yet can't learn how to make a pizza with the appropriate sausage sizing, I struggle with holding a knife correctly even when someone shows me over and over again and they get visibly annoyed, but if I was a prettier girl they'd be more willing to work with my dumbness. I just get this heavy brain fog and start dropping stuff and handing people the wrong thing, it's like I'm not even fully present.

 

[FayetheAspie]

Unrelated I know, but is that your collie in your avatar? It looks a lot like my childhood collie. He was a really sweet dog. My current dog is a husky. She is sweet as well.

 

[Outdated]

I don't have the skills to do that first off I have zero talents and the attention span of a goldfish.....

Instead of focusing on what you can't do you need to try and figure out what it is that you Can do. My sister didn't find out what she was good at until she was in her 30s, but one of her greatest skills was the way in which she was able to deal with people.

For the first half of her life she was just waitressing. Everyone liked her and it was something she was good at but it never paid very well. Just as an idea for something different once her kids were old enough that she didn't need to be home as much, she went to night school and studied real estate and became a licensed estate agent. This turned out to be what she was good at and it paid well too.

...but if I was a prettier girl they'd be more willing to work with my dumbness.

That part is not true at all, not in any business that's trying to make money. I was a manager myself in print companies, a job that requires good mental arithmetic as well as basic physics and chemistry, good memory, good manual dexterity and a reasonable amount of physical strength.

We interviewed many people over the years who had all the right qualifications but when you took them out on the floor to show them your machinery they demonstrated a complete lack of aptitude for the job. We can work with a lack of experience but we can't train someone who doesn't have the required aptitude. There were also many others like me who just started working straight out of high school and never had any formal qualifications of any kind yet were highly prized and in great demand.

It's difficult when you're just starting out in life and you've got no experience behind you, but we all manage to do it somehow. The key is in finding out what it is that you're good at, what clicks with you. Once you find that you'll be home and hosed.

 

[Limerentchick]

Unrelated I know, but is that your collie in your avatar? It looks a lot like my childhood collie. He was a really sweet dog. My current dog is a husky. She is sweet as well.

Nope, it's a pic I grabbed off youtube posts.

 

[Limerentchick]

Instead of focusing on what you can't do you need to try and figure out what it is that you Can do. My sister didn't find out what she was good at until she was in her 30s, but one of her greatest skills was the way in which she was able to deal with people.

For the first half of her life she was just waitressing. Everyone liked her and it was something she was good at but it never paid very well. Just as an idea for something different once her kids were old enough that she didn't need to be home as much, she went to night school and studied real estate and became a licensed estate agent. This turned out to be what she was good at and it paid well too.


That part is not true at all, not in any business that's trying to make money. I was a manager myself in print companies, a job that requires good mental arithmetic as well as basic physics and chemistry, good memory, good manual dexterity and a reasonable amount of physical strength.

We interviewed many people over the years who had all the right qualifications but when you took them out on the floor to show them your machinery they demonstrated a complete lack of aptitude for the job. We can work with a lack of experience but we can't train someone who doesn't have the required aptitude. There were also many others like me who just started working straight out of high school and never had any formal qualifications of any kind yet were highly prized and in great demand.

It's difficult when you're just starting out in life and you've got no experience behind you, but we all manage to do it somehow. The key is in finding out what it is that you're good at, what clicks with you. Once you find that you'll be home and hosed.

It is true for women, looks is the #1 priority of a womans value in society and in the workforce, employers are much nicer to conventionally pretty girls and they get fired way less even if they suck at their position, a plain or fat girl can be one of the best employees but still be demonized and let go. It's only acceptable for a pretty girl to have autism, ugly girls it's looked down upon, I think I'd do good in retail atleast or USPS.

 

[Jonn]

I've been fired at every job I've been at for not picking it up quick enough, essentially not being smart enough to begin with even though I have severe ADHD and a learning disability (yes autism too but I don't think the cognitive problems I have are directly from it, everyone else that's level 1 doesn't have this issue.

Sounds like me, but fortunately, I found some extremely supportive ppl who helped me.
I was in the same job for 28 years and was able to retire at age 50 (due to autistic burnout).
I am financially secure now, but I would never want to go through that again!

and the attention span of a goldfish

Same. <sigh>
The joys of ADHD. lol

 

[Jonn]

Nope, it's a pic I grabbed off youtube posts.

My avatar is a picture of me, but it is a couple of years old.

 

[Limerentchick]

My avatar is a picture of me, but it is a couple of years old.

That checks haha

 

[Rodafina]

It is true for women, looks is the #1 priority of a womans value in society and in the workforce, employers are much nicer to conventionally pretty girls and they get fired way less even if they suck at their position, a plain or fat girl can be one of the best employees but still be demonized and let go. It's only acceptable for a pretty girl to have autism, ugly girls it's looked down upon, I think I'd do good in retail atleast or USPS.

I understand it can feel that way. It won’t help to constantly tell yourself this is true, though. We can always look to those who seem to have it easier for whatever reason, but usually, this just creates resentment, envy, and jealousy. I’ve yet to see these things help anyone.

It sounds like your sense of worth and self esteem are really low right now. Maybe you can work on building that up and keep your focus on how you work best. Explore your strengths and let those guide you. Life can be difficult, no doubt, but you still have so many things to try and find what works for you. Knowing what doesn’t work is useful, but let that lead you to trying something totally different. It sounds like you already have two ideas - retail and the post office. Maybe those ideas will lead to even more.