LGBTs

[Geordie]

Do you think Aspies who are LGBTs can have meaningful relationships, just like heterosexual Aspies do?

 

[IContainMultitudes]

I don't see why not. I think there actually is a fair amount of overlap between the aspie and LGBT communities.

 

[jaws]

Honestly, I think LGBT relationships via aspies would be easier than hetero aspie relationships. There are less social "norms" in the LGBT community, making certain oddities that we may have less noticeable. Also, in dealing with societal rejection already, most in the LGBT community should be more understanding of many aspie issues (especially being bullied and not fitting in). That said, all relationships are difficult, especially for people on the spectrum. I've been with my significant other for 15yrs, and we've had many difficulties that I personally think have been overcome by my AS traits. However, my AS has contributed to a certain number of our problems in communication.

I think if you find the right person LGBT or hetero, you'll both be willing to work on making the relationship work.

 

[Tigris]

Interesting topic.

I have an Aspie friend however who is quite disgusted by LGBTs due to bad experiences with such. Please do not quote me, I have a gay friend who admitted to me that there is a subgroup of LGBTs who deprive joy from bullying or sexual harassing people with disabilities.

but I believe that LGBTs just like Atheists or theists have quite a lot of black sheep pulling their reputation down. If the LGBT people aspie or NT want to clear their reputation, I think they have to target those black sheep who have caused the stereotype in the first place.

For example, HIV/AID was once called GRID which discriminated against gays which gave the stereotype that gays cause AIDS. Thankfully that stereotype has disappear after awareness is made with the public.

 

[Geordie]

Tigris, if our society stops blatant discrimination against the 'weak', we'll have a better chance not discriminating others - based on gender, religion or race.

Unfortunately, this is a way of life in Singapore. I wish I have the ability to change it, or change me to better suit the realities of my homeland.

 

[Tigris]

Nah it's more than Singapore societal views. LGBTs are also discriminated elsewhere even in the West at some point in time.

As for LGBT sexualling harassing or taking advantage of mentally disabled. It appears that it might need the LGBT community aspie or nt to speak up about them and condemning their actions.

 

[Geordie]

What I meant was, if society oppresses both LGBTs and those with mental conditions, those who can live better will almost certainly look down on those with mental conditions. Then it is up to those with mental conditions to be more open with their conditions (when they can), and rise up to the challenge.

 

[Tigris]

Oh.. Ok..

But I have to say, there is one thing the LGBT community possesses that made the normal population to accept them better and given their rights. That is they are not alone and also they have the numbers.

The Aspie community in the west has come together into a community, I am not sure if they really build a group or community of their own in the west.

In Asia, Aspies are targeted and vulnerable because we are alone most of the time. Even if just one particularly famous aspie, speaks up about the issue so much as to travel to Taiwan, Macau and Phillppines to spread the knowledge of autism awareness, it is not going to help. The problem is that the Aspie community here in Asia has not achieved the critical mass in terms of number to form a close knit community who will eventually rise up and give NTs a strong message, "We will not sit back and be ignored anymore."

As Magneto in X-men First Class say, "the humans build their own community, So we build ours!" Only if we unite, then we will have the power to change a lot of things. Even if it takes decades, it is still getting something done.

To members who live in the west, this might sounds odd to your ears. But this is the situation in parts of Asia regarding LGBTs as well as disability rights too.

 

[Geordie]

How can ASDs and LGBTs together build a more cohesive society? What are their overlaps?

 

[Tigris]

Their overlaps would be the similarities of their circumstances. Both groups are seen as weirds or mutants.

However, I would advice that not to get too close to LGBT groups too lah. Even so, one has to be very very careful.

 

[Geordie]

I do not think like you. Even bullies that hurt my core interests could end up helping me.

 

[Tigris]

Depends on how to define "help"

 

[Geordie]

If you read my post on 'vested interest'. They're more than my catchphrases. they're key words that guide me.

 

[Tigris]

Ok but lets straight to the point in this discussion shall we?

As for LGBTs and Aspies, there is an overlap. In the west, LGBTs are getting accepted in a way. But in Asia, this has yet to catch up. Even Singapore's neighbour, Malaysia is said to penalize sissy boys as so to speak, sending them to boot camps or something.

If you happened to be LGBT and an Aspie, I think it could be an overlap of problems. There is a possiblity that you would be even more isolated given the fact that the ASD community and even the LGBT community also rejects you outright!. It's a risk definitely.

 

[Geordie]

In my previous post, I was saying that bullies help me by defining my interests - so do the people here, who are friendly. And in another previous post I made, I was saying I only want what I want.

Similarly, I also think Asia discriminates both ASDs and LGBTs... so if we discriminate them, bad begets bad, so ASDs will suffer even more due to their inability to 'fight back'.

My thoughts are just simply stop hating, and start to invest in love for all, even the weird, even those who hate us, even those who screwed us. Love goes round. Even if we don't get love, we can stop discriminating other people. I never try to do onto others what I don't wish to do

 

[Tigris]

It is wonderful that you think in this way. Choosing to forgive.... and forget. But do remember that Autistic people have elephant's memory, forgetting a bad incident is never easy.

However it is good to forget and forgive. But I am more selective. I only forgive the repentant. The unrepentant don't to deserve any mercy in my point of view.

 

[Geordie]

When I have 15 things in my mind, for example, I just remember the 15 happiest things that help me, to make yourself happy - instead of remembering 15 different snubs by 15 different people. I do not avoid, I just move on I hope...

 

[Tigris]

When I have 15 things in my mind, for example, I just remember the 15 happiest things that help me, to make yourself happy - instead of remembering 15 different snubs by 15 different people. I do not avoid, I just move on I hope...

I believe your idea will help the reformed A-CASE group.

 

[Geordie]

For one, we may need a sexuality discussion in any forums. Sex is humanity in its purest form.

 

[jaws]

How can ASDs and LGBTs together build a more cohesive society? What are their overlaps?

You may not get much support from the LGBT community in Asia, as it may not be to either or your best interests.

To explain: In the U.S. Back in the 60-70's the LGBT community supported legalizing drugs and equal rights for children (as many runaways in the LGBT community were thrown out by their parents and could not legally live independently). In the mid to late 80's the LGBT community distanced itself from drugs and children due to the negative backlash from hate groups linking them to drug abusers and sexual predators....keeping those issues had a negative impact for all involved. So joining another civil rights group may not be in your best interest or theirs, as it may be easier for community leaders to distinguish your particular needs if they only have to look at one group versus two or three.