Just too weird...

[DogwoodTree]

I appreciate their attention, but really have no intention of going back. And at the moment I don't feel like talking to much of anyone, as I'm almost in shutdown mode at the moment. Stressed out over other things, trying not to lose it.

Been there, done that, still doing it more often than I'd like...I feel for you. No answers here...just that I refuse to give up, so I keep going.

Sometimes I can ask the question, "What can I do right now that will help me get through the next 10 minutes, or half hour, or whatever?" Sometimes that question doesn't have an answer, and those are the hardest. Sometimes I just have to let myself "lose it" for a little while.

But it hurts like hell.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Some times I get really discouraged because there is not a single person on this planet that I've met that I can be myself around. Absolutely myself. Not without scaring the crap out of them or confusing them to no end. I can be myself the most around my mom, but the majority of it I repress and hide for her sake because I know even she couldn't handle it.

And then the rest of the time I feel very giddy and mischievous because I am my own best little secret that nobody is gonna find out about. Kind of a "nya nya nannie boo boo!" thing. As my grandfather often says, growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.