Just say Hi.

[Needla]

Hi, I'm Needla. I got diagnosed with high-funtioning Aspergers at 64 a couple years after my husband did. It's really difficult with both of us being affected. And it manifests very differently in each of us so we have a difficult time having compassion for each other. I always wonder if there are many other couples with both partners affected.

I wasn't happy to get the diagnosis. Of course looking back over my life it explains much. But I haven't been a "happy" person. Life was confusing and just plain hard. It still is. I've always wanted to be someone else......anyone else. I still struggle with that.

Also, I'm not one of those Aspie people that have obvious areas of strengths or super high intelligence. My husband is though.

I don't really know what else to say. I've not been a member of a forum before. Just really want to hear what life is like for others and how they cope.

I was actually looking for a forum just for women and wonder if there is one.
Don't mean to offend anyone with that. Sorry if I did.

 

[tree]

 

[Nitro]

 

[Needla]

Thanks

 

[Outdated]

Hi Needla, welcome to the forums.

It's a real mixed community here. We have all ages from so many different countries. People of all different areas on the spectrum and each with their own advantages and disadvantages.

Have a read, talk to people here. There's bound to be people here in similar situations to your own.

 

[Isadoorian]

Hi, and Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process!

As the member above me has said, there are a lot of people here from all walks of life, both young and old. Autism affects everyone, so you'll see various people looking for help or wanting to further their knowledge on how to best support their loved ones, or even advice on how to go about being in a relationship with an Aspie.

And there are of course lots of Women here, so you won't feel secluded at all.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome! Some organizations that run get-togethers and socials have ones specific for women - so if you live in a larger metropolitan area or region, there's a good chance there's one that serves your area.

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome. I'm sorry to hear things have been tough for you. I would guess a lot of women may never have got the confidence or opportunities men had in the years past, and this way of treating children differently is perhaps also part of why so many women with Autism have not been diagnosed. Women are often more likely to have been taught to defer to others, to listen, to internalise worries and to mask their difficulties than males, who may make their frustrations clear by acting out, plus who in the past may have been offered more educational or career opportunities.

I am sure you have talents and abilities, and it could be that having more understanding of ASD will help you start to feel a bit better, and to understand your life differently. There are couples here who may be both neurodiverse or one neurotypical and one neurodiverse, every marriage or relationship is different of course, but it may help to talk with others here about issues or concerns.

 

[Needla]

Welcome! Some organizations that run get-togethers and socials have ones specific for women - so if you live in a larger metropolitan area or region, there's a good chance there's one that serves your area.

Unfortunately the services in my area are focused almost solely on children. My husband and I have had difficulty even finding a counselor with knowledge of autism that will work with adults.

 

[VictorR]

Unfortunately the services in my area are focused almost solely on children. My husband and I have had difficulty even finding a counselor with knowledge of autism that will work with adults.

Sorry to hear. Perhaps with time and encouragement they'll expand their scope.

One organization in my area that was founded about a dozen years ago to provide programming for autistic children has expanded into support groups and employment programs for young autistic adults so that they could continue serving those clientele as their needs evolve, and some of their current staff are actually former clients.