Joking Around!

[Vanilla]

Hey all

We all know a good joke or two, so I thought it would be nice to share our jokes. Feel free to also post links to videos of stand up comedians if you have a favourite.

Hopefully it'll help bring smiles when you're having a bad day, and will be a whole lot of fun.

P.S. Keep it clean!

 

[King_Oni]

P.S. Keep it clean!

Darnit... I'm out already...

 

[Ste11aeres]

I was about to share a funny story...then realized the place I had picked it up from was another thread on this forum.

Too tired now, but I'll be back with some funny stuff.

 

[Vanilla]

“I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.” - Dimitri Martin

 

[wyverary]

"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
-Mitch Hedberg. (I could dig up a zillion of his)

 

[Dark]

A man goes to a zoo.
The only animal there is a dog.
It was a shih-tzu.

 

[Manuheleku]

Rabbi goes into a butcher shop, says "give me 2 of those lamb chops." Guy behind the counter says "sir, those are not lamb chops, those are pork chops." Rabbi says "don't argue with me kid, now give me 2 of those lamb chops!" (rimshot)

 

[Vanilla]

 

[Christy]

Two men walked into a bar, you'd think the second one would have ducked.

 

[Manuheleku]

Fluffy! :-D

 

[Ste11aeres]

A man is at his doctors. The doctor says "I have some bad news for you. You're terminally ill and you're only going to live for ten"- "Ten what?" the guy interrupts.
The doctor continues: "nine, eight seven, six..."