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Jesus is Watching You (Humor)

Well, there's always that Indian joke about why the sun never sets on the British Empire.

-Because God never trusted an Englishman. :p
 
I've heard various versions of the "Jesus is watching you" joke.
Here is one:

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.
As he tiptoed through the living room,
he suddenly froze in his tracks when he heard a voice say
"Jesus is watching you!"

He glanced around nervously but didn’t see anyone.

After a few minutes, he began to creep forward.
The voice again said, "Jesus is watching you!"

Nearly frightened out of his wits,
the burglar stopped and frantically looked around for the owner of the voice.
Finally, off in a dark corner, he spotted a birdcage,
and in the cage was a parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot,
"Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes," said the parrot.

No longer afraid, the burglar chuckled and asked the parrot
"What’s your name?"

"Pippitty," said the bird

"That’s a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar.
"What idiot named you Pippitty?"

The parrot replied,
"The same idiot who named that pitbull Jesus!"

https://www.lingq.com/lesson/jesus-is-watching-you-277849/

The name of the parrot and the type of watchdog vary,
depending on who's telling the story.
 
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