Two months is not that long to be casual friends.
You DID tell her about your feelings - too fast, and way too obsessively.
When I was younger, I had a lot of guys interested in me. Nothing was more of a turnoff than them asking me in the beginning, “How much should I call you? This was always a sign that they were going to be obsessive, possessive, and possibly controlling. I had bad experiences with all that in the past!
When someone says they “Need more space,” and you ask “ How much more space,” that is a clue to get out of the relationship (even as “friends”) fast! I know I was not able to handle that kind of claustrophobic relationship, and was unable (or unwilling) to teach that person how not to do that. Many people just do not have the skills, inclination, or time to teach another person how to be socially acceptable. So they end any connection to that person fast. It’s a real killer of any interest that might have been there.
I know it’s crazy when you have a “crush,” to hold back and not constantly text and call the object of your affections. But it’s a thing to practice. Think of a plant that you grow from a seed- give it too much water, or fertilizer, too much sun, and some species can wither and die from too much care. Not all plants, but many will get sick, and die. You literally can love something to death. It’s the same thing with obsessive human relationships. Go slow, and learn.
Be a little more mysterious, and a little more hard to get. Don’t put yourself out there with your emotions too soon, and too quickly. People need space, and time to develop an affection. Even then, hold back until the other person is giving YOU the same affection and interest. Growing up and maturing is important as we learn to contain are emotions. It’s not safe out in the world to show your heart and soul to others!
We all get hurt when we are young with relationships. We learn what is the socially correct way to behave. I always learned by my own heartaches and mistakes, and also by observing other’s mistakes. I guess once some gal crowds you and it’s obsessive, and unwanted, then you truly will understand how it feels. Hopefully next time you will do better!
You DID tell her about your feelings - too fast, and way too obsessively.
When I was younger, I had a lot of guys interested in me. Nothing was more of a turnoff than them asking me in the beginning, “How much should I call you? This was always a sign that they were going to be obsessive, possessive, and possibly controlling. I had bad experiences with all that in the past!
When someone says they “Need more space,” and you ask “ How much more space,” that is a clue to get out of the relationship (even as “friends”) fast! I know I was not able to handle that kind of claustrophobic relationship, and was unable (or unwilling) to teach that person how not to do that. Many people just do not have the skills, inclination, or time to teach another person how to be socially acceptable. So they end any connection to that person fast. It’s a real killer of any interest that might have been there.
I know it’s crazy when you have a “crush,” to hold back and not constantly text and call the object of your affections. But it’s a thing to practice. Think of a plant that you grow from a seed- give it too much water, or fertilizer, too much sun, and some species can wither and die from too much care. Not all plants, but many will get sick, and die. You literally can love something to death. It’s the same thing with obsessive human relationships. Go slow, and learn.
Be a little more mysterious, and a little more hard to get. Don’t put yourself out there with your emotions too soon, and too quickly. People need space, and time to develop an affection. Even then, hold back until the other person is giving YOU the same affection and interest. Growing up and maturing is important as we learn to contain are emotions. It’s not safe out in the world to show your heart and soul to others!
We all get hurt when we are young with relationships. We learn what is the socially correct way to behave. I always learned by my own heartaches and mistakes, and also by observing other’s mistakes. I guess once some gal crowds you and it’s obsessive, and unwanted, then you truly will understand how it feels. Hopefully next time you will do better!
Don't contact obsessively, it's an oxymoron that only aspies will understand.
