It angers me when people are nasty to fat people

[SunnyDay16]

I stopped seeing one of my closest, longest standing friends because of their compulsive eating habits & the health problems it was generating for them. I understand it's a hard habit to kick, like any compulsive behaviour is & that it's often a symptom or co-mordant condition. I get that but found it was too distressing to witness so don't see them anymore.

I understand what you mean. It's very hard to see somebody destroying their health despite knowing what they're doing to themselves. I think a lot of people have to hit rock bottom before finally getting the motivation to get help and your friend sounds like one of those people.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

It's mostly because fat women aren't able to have babies without miscarrying, that's why they might be insulted by men whenever an obese woman asks them out. That's why guys, myself included, prefer girls who are thinner, since we WANT offspring so we can keep the bloodline going.

 

[SunnyDay16]

It's mostly because fat women aren't able to have babies without miscarrying, that's why they might be insulted by men whenever an obese woman asks them out. That's why guys, myself included, prefer girls who are thinner, since we WANT offspring so we can keep the bloodline going.

Not being attracted to fat people and actually being nasty to them are two different things. I don't care who people are attracted to (we all have preferences about what we're into), but to be nasty or not treat people with common decency because they aren't attractive to you just doesn't make sense to me.

 

[Autistamatic]

I've never liked thin girls. Always have preferred a grown woman with bumps and curves over a skinny youngster. Plenty of men do. Look at any adult website and see how much BBW material there is if you doubt it.
Male to female attraction is not all about babies and there's no truth in this idea of larger women and miscarriage unless you're getting into morbidly obese territory which has plenty more significant health problems associated with it than anything related to pregnancy.
There is absolutely no excuse for abusing someone because of their appearance - it's abhorrent behaviour.

 

[Streetwise]

I don't condone obesity, as it's no question that it's unhealthy on every level. With that being said though, the way people treat people a little heavier on the scale has always aggravated me. From calling them awful names, to dehumanizing them, and failing to treat them with basic decency all because they're fat.

I've seen it with my own two eyes and I've seen tons of people say how different they're treated when they gain weight. And not because of them having a harder time finding dates or jobs, but just people not using basic manners with them or being flat out nasty.

There are so many factors that affect obesity, that it can't simply be summed as just laziness or gluttony. And yeah, while poor diet and lack of exercise tend to factor in, there are usually symptoms of bigger problems such as depression or sense of worthlessness. If somebody is depressed or feeling worthless, we shouldn't call them dehumanizing names or make fun of them for it, we should show compassion to them and try to help them. Why should obesity be any different?

people have insulted me and loudly commented that they thought I was pregnant I will not say why but my God it hurt

 

[Autistamatic]

people have insulted me and loudly commented that they thought I was pregnant I will not say why but my God it hurt

It really is quite despicable behaviour which no-one can justify. As I said above, I've never witnessed anything like this and the thought that people are being treated this way when just minding their own business makes me sick to my stomach. As if there wasn't already enough division in this world!

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Not being attracted to fat people and actually being nasty to them are two different things. I don't care who people are attracted to (we all have preferences about what we're into), but to be nasty or not treat people with common decency because they aren't attractive to you just doesn't make sense to me.

I know, but it doesn't make sense to me, either.

I get it if it might be an actual insult from some rando that passed a fat woman on the street, but sometimes, people can over-exaggerate stuff, too.

Especially when a family member tells a fat woman that she would lose weight so she can be healthier out of genuine concern. The woman might over-exaggerate it because she has been so used to weigh being used as an insult and so oversensitive to any comments about her weight at all, and that doesn't make sense to me either, so....

Can we even understand that function if we can't understand the main part of the equation? (also, yes, I do believe the tails side of the equation should be brought up)

 

[Joshua the Writer]

I've never liked thin girls. Always have preferred a grown woman with bumps and curves over a skinny youngster. Plenty of men do. Look at any adult website and see how much BBW material there is if you doubt it.
Male to female attraction is not all about babies and there's no truth in this idea of larger women and miscarriage unless you're getting into morbidly obese territory which has plenty more significant health problems associated with it than anything related to pregnancy.
There is absolutely no excuse for abusing someone because of their appearance - it's abhorrent behaviour.

Actually, if somebody is overweight at all, they run a risk of miscarriages past a certain weigh, which is actually not there far beyond the BMI of a woman has to be at their height to be overweight. Also, yes, this has been scientifically proven.

 

[Autistamatic]

I know, but it doesn't make sense to me, either.

I get it if it might be an actual insult from some rando that passed a fat woman on the street, but sometimes, people can over-exaggerate stuff, too.

Especially when a family member tells a fat woman that she would lose weight so she can be healthier out of genuine concern. The woman might over-exaggerate it because she has been so used to weigh being used as an insult and so oversensitive to any comments about her weight at all, and that doesn't make sense to me either, so....

Can we even understand that function if we can't understand the main part of the equation? (also, yes, I do believe the tails side of the equation should be brought up)

I read that twice and still don't understand what point you're trying to make. It doesn't seem to have any connection to what you said previously. Can you elaborate so we better get a feeling for what you're trying to say please?
Thanks.

 

[Monachopia]

Especially when a family member tells a fat woman that she would lose weight so she can be healthier out of genuine concern. The woman might over-exaggerate it because she has been so used to weigh being used as an insult and so oversensitive to any comments about her weight at all, and that doesn't make sense to me either, so....

I believe there is something to be said about family being genuinely concerned for each other's well-being and that is fine. I think I understood the point you were trying to make, that someone who's becoming quite upset by insults may take even a well meant comment as an attack; however, having been on the receiving end of constant family 'encouragement' it can do more harm than good. There is an appropriate frequency and a time and a place for those sorts of remarks.
That, however, isn't what the point of this thread was, I believe it was downright discrimination against someone who is bigger, gossip in workplaces and name calling by randos, all of which are unacceptable. There was no discussion about forcing anyone to like a different body type than their actual preference. The health question isn't under scrutiny here either, because it's obvious that one who is severely overweight will suffer more ailments on average in the future than a thinner counterpart. All this thread is pointing out, that it's pathetic that people sometimes go out of their way to hurt a complete stranger just because of looks. That's all.

 

[Autistamatic]

It's mostly because fat women aren't able to have babies without miscarrying, that's why they might be insulted by men

Actually, if somebody is overweight at all, they run a risk of miscarriages past a certain weigh, which is actually not there far beyond the BMI of a woman has to be at their height to be overweight. Also, yes, this has been scientifically proven.

Two completely different statements that contradict one another. The "scientifically proven" statistic that a clinically obese woman (BMI over 30) may be up to twice as likely as a thinner woman to miscarry does not even remotely support the sweeping statement of "fat women aren't able to have babies without miscarrying".

 

[SunnyDay16]

I know, but it doesn't make sense to me, either.

I get it if it might be an actual insult from some rando that passed a fat woman on the street, but sometimes, people can over-exaggerate stuff, too.

Especially when a family member tells a fat woman that she would lose weight so she can be healthier out of genuine concern. The woman might over-exaggerate it because she has been so used to weigh being used as an insult and so oversensitive to any comments about her weight at all, and that doesn't make sense to me either, so....

Can we even understand that function if we can't understand the main part of the equation? (also, yes, I do believe the tails side of the equation should be brought up)

I get what you mean, but, again, I'm strictly talking about people who go out of their way to attack people who are fat because they are fat. From calling them dehumanizing names like "whale" or "pig" to actually physically touching them. People who do that aren't doing it to be helpful in any shape or form, they are doing it to be jerks.

As far as expressing concern goes, I believe that people, even family members, shouldn't be giving their unsolicited comments about weight unless it's clear that the weight is actually harming their health. There's different degrees of being overweight and a few extra pounds are unlikely to cause harm, so making comments that the person should lose weight out of "concern" is rather pointless.

Just because somebody is fat doesn't mean they aren't currently trying to lose weight or live a healthy lifestyle, yet society will assume that of them just because they aren't of normal weight yet. Losing weight is a terribly long process and it can have tons of setbacks. So confronting somebody on their weight out of concern should be approached delicately and the person doing the confronting should be sure they know what they're talking about when it comes to the situation which many of them actually don't, they just see a fat person and assume much about them because they are fat.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Two completely different statements that contradict one another. The "scientifically proven" statistic that a clinically obese woman (BMI over 30) may be up to twice as likely as a thinner woman to miscarry does not even remotely support the sweeping statement of "fat women aren't able to have babies without miscarrying".

Yeah, what I am saying is that, somewhere beyond 30, the woman is more likely to miscarry.

 

[tlc]

The fat jokes bother me too. My dad is pretty good for that. And I've always been thin, and have always been attracted to bigger girls. My dad rails on me for that too. But still it bothers me when people put down bigger guys too. Really it bothers me when people put down anyone for their appearance or limitations or differences or whatever. And it makes me wonder what they're saying about me when I look away because I'm far from perfect too. Health problems, I know plenty of large people who are far healthier than I am and I never drank or smoked or anything. Not everyone is everyone's preference but that's no reason for hate, just let them be if they've done nothing bad to you. I wish everyone could just get along.

 

[Horsegirl]

I don't think anybody should point out anybody else's body size. It annoys me when I meet people and they say, "Wow, you're so tall!"
This is true, I'm 5 foot 11 inches, and I'm a 13 year old girl. But ya don't walk up to people and say, "Wow, you're so short!"
Do you?!
Jeepers creepers!

 

[Autistamatic]

The fat jokes bother me too. My dad is pretty good for that. And I've always been thin, and have always been attracted to bigger girls. My dad rails on me for that too. But still it bothers me when people put down bigger guys too. Really it bothers me when people put down anyone for their appearance or limitations or differences or whatever. And it makes me wonder what they're saying about me when I look away because I'm far from perfect too. Health problems, I know plenty of large people who are far healthier than I am and I never drank or smoked or anything. Not everyone is everyone's preference but that's no reason for hate, just let them be if they've done nothing bad to you. I wish everyone could just get along.

Finding curvier women attractive is quite a common thing. This obsession with skinny people - particularly concerning women is quite a modern phenomenon. We now equate it with youth and health, but until the late 19th century it was a sign of poverty or back breaking manual work. Bigger people could afford to eat a varied diet so it was seen as a sign of wealth and status to carry a few extra pounds.
It's not just a male or a hetero thing either. Many women like a "cuddly" guy. Plenty of women find muscly or burly men a total turn off and prefer skinny wan fellas or chubby round guys. Even in the male gay community there's the phenomenon of "bears" who are typically big, hairy guys. Some people are attracted to people the same age, some younger, some older - variety is the spice of life, as the saying goes
There is no single generalisation of what people find physically attractive in others. Anybody who tries to convince you otherwise is likely a victim of the same commercial & media pressures to conform to the image that suits their products and their marketing campaigns. The same companies that own the candy, cake, beer and snack brands also own the low fat, low calorie and healthy brands. They win when you indulge yourself and they win again when you are shamed into dieting to fit into next year's swimsuit.
Like what you like, love who you love and to hell with the victims who spout the corporate mantra of body shaming at you. They're the losers for being unable to think for themselves, not you. Be healthy, be happy, be YOU.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

The fat jokes bother me too. My dad is pretty good for that. And I've always been thin, and have always been attracted to bigger girls. My dad rails on me for that too. But still it bothers me when people put down bigger guys too. Really it bothers me when people put down anyone for their appearance or limitations or differences or whatever. And it makes me wonder what they're saying about me when I look away because I'm far from perfect too. Health problems, I know plenty of large people who are far healthier than I am and I never drank or smoked or anything. Not everyone is everyone's preference but that's no reason for hate, just let them be if they've done nothing bad to you. I wish everyone could just get along.

It's refreshing to see someone say this who is thin. My mother has always hated the way people treat me, I'm very healthy I'm just s big girl. I have PCOS which makes me bigger. Anyway, I appreciate hearing that people are understanding and loving out there.

 

[Mary Terry]

I don't think anybody should point out anybody else's body size. It annoys me when I meet people and they say, "Wow, you're so tall!"
This is true, I'm 5 foot 11 inches, and I'm a 13 year old girl. But ya don't walk up to people and say, "Wow, you're so short!"
Do you?!
Jeepers creepers!

I was five feet, nine inches tall and the tallest student in my 6th grade class. I think I stopped growing about your age. Now that I'm old, I'm starting to shrink! I'm only 5'8" now.

 

[Monachopia]

This is true, I'm 5 foot 11 inches, and I'm a 13 year old girl. But ya don't walk up to people and say, "Wow, you're so short!"

I'm 5'4 and people do tell me I'm short I don't mind it though It's just a filler while they're trying to find something more constructive to say.