Is this autism, similar, or something else?

[anonX]

Giving some examples to show what I struggle with in real life:

1. Happy midsummer (In Sweden this is an important day). When people tell me this, on emails or in public, I just process it as a normal word, I don't see what it is (holiday, people take day off from work, they party/plan ...)

My friend called me and asked what my plans were, I said nothing, just a normal day for me. Then he asked, do you want to do what we did last year. Now I started to understand that it's just not as a typical day. But I needed this help to process what the day is really about, going out and having fun in the way you should celebrate the day. He brought it up, not me. He remembered/associated what we did, not me, reason he made the call and not me.

2. Looking at a picture, half of the image a girl is fancy and happy, on the other half she is crying. I don't process anything. I asked a friend, he said, well probably she went out that day, and was dumped by her boyfriend. It doesn't have to be right, but he had an opinion, he saw something, I didn't. He answered the way he looks at the world (he thinks allot about girls/dates). Ok I had to read the text, it was about a girl posing on Instagram, but wanted to show with the other half this is the way I actually feel, masking on Instagram because of the pressure to look happy and fine, like many do.

You see I understand this after I found out, I know how Instagram works, I didn't have to give the right answer, but I'm not able to give any answer, my mind locks, and doesn't process what it sees.

3. I asked my father how his day was going on the phone, he said he and mom worked inside painting the house, finished, and are now to clean the conservatory. After a while for a final question I asked, so what are you going to do now? Clean the conservatory... not realizing the question had already been answered. I needed a direct question for the answer, like I'm on a routine, not processing things if I don't ask specifically. I mean, I did memorize what he said, I did categorize that the house is done and that the conservatory is something extra they wanted to do now, but my brain was not capable of holding it in the air throughout the conversation.

4. When I was a kid, my elder cousin sent me to rent a video game, we wanted to play, and I think he said pick another one if you can't find it. It was already rented, I didn't pick another one, because none looked interesting, instead I picked a film. Once I got back, he didn't like it, and said, how do you know the other games are not good, you haven't played them. He didn't want to watch the film as well. I didn't give his half money back, because I didn't process it correctly, and I don't remember if he asked about them. But this led that he turned against me on another day. I didn't realize that the situation led to that, until I grew older and thought about what happened. What I want to say, I don't connect things just as easy as I feel others do. I just do things without really realizing how the other person would react. My mistakes has consequences and in this case it led to our relationship not being as good as it used to.

I don't know why my encoding process is not working properly, and it's causing social issues for me, lack of small chat capabilities, lack of talking about what I have done, heard, seen, what I have thought about.
I have been told that autistic are excellent with noticing details, I'm not. If I were, I wouldn't have an issue with small chat. Other than this I feel normal, and think normally like all my friends. My sensorimotoric skills are above average, I could play football with closed eyes, and still deliver the perfect pass, or do the perfect tackle. One of my cousins for example is really social, sharps and have done excellent with studies and jobs. But give him a ball, and he would stumble. So I don't know why I'm the one that has autistic traits since 86% with autism has sensorimotoric difficulties. Hence, asking what is wrong with me, as I don't share many autistic traits, as restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests, or activities/Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interests in sensory aspects of the environment.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

So, most of your symptomatology is within the communication and social aspects. Most of mine is, as well.

The neuro-motor aspects of autism can be minimized through repetition. I was involved in competitive athletics for decades,...but I still have difficulties walking down a flight of stairs,...going up no problem,...going down, slow and clumsy. It's a pretty weird phenomenon.

I don't have the obvious "tics" or "stimming" behaviors some others do,...mine are much more subtle.

I don't have terrible sensory issues except for persistent tinnitus and visual snow syndrome,...even then it's in the background,...the rest of it I can pretty much deal with.

Until you have some professional performance testing, it can be difficult to assess where you are with regards to "the norms". You just get used to you being you,...and you loose perspective.

 

[Aspychata]

Do you have special interests that can consume your time? Do you ever find yourself over discussing or over-sharing?

 

[anonX]

Do you have special interests that can consume your time? Do you ever find yourself over discussing or over-sharing?

No I don't. Never had. I don't speak much, when I do, it feels like "what is the reason I reason like this". I feel like I don't base my conversations on anything, I just say things because it feels right, not because it might be right. I'm completely unable to relate to my day, I loved speaking with my mom when I was a kid, but I was not able to tell her how my day was, what happened at school etc.

Furthermore, I have a friend testing me, when I say something, he asks me, why do you say that or think like that. Can you give an example of what you just said. Now it becomes difficult for me. I feel cognitive inferior because the things I say are mostly accurate, but it's like I can't get to the root of it like I feel others are when they tell something. It feels very analytic when they say something, like it's the most accurate. That they thought it through without much effort.

 

[anonX]

So, most of your symptomatology is within the communication and social aspects. Most of mine is, as well.

The neuro-motor aspects of autism can be minimized through repetition. I was involved in competitive athletics for decades,...but I still have difficulties walking down a flight of stairs,...going up no problem,...going down, slow and clumsy. It's a pretty weird phenomenon.

I don't have the obvious "tics" or "stimming" behaviors some others do,...mine are much more subtle.

I don't have terrible sensory issues except for persistent tinnitus and visual snow syndrome,...even then it's in the background,...the rest of it I can pretty much deal with.

Until you have some professional performance testing, it can be difficult to assess where you are with regards to "the norms". You just get used to you being you,...and you loose perspective.

I see, my AQ score was 26, which is quite low, and on the borderline. I did a professional evaluation, I couldn't be diagnosed as autistic as I didn't have the B criteria in the DSM-5 test. Likewise, I did have all A criteria, which is the social aspect.

Do you have mine or similar difficulties as I just described?

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I score in the mid-40s on the AQ and have had a comprehensive professional testing and diagnosis. Obviously I met all the criteria. Like I said most if my severe symptoms are in the social and communication areas. I have to think my way through life. It does not come natural.

 

[Tom]

It was an early illustration of autism to depict neurotypicals (NTs) as having some skill in all areas and autistics sometimes having drastic inbalances. ie unusally high in some areas and unually low in others.

Another illustration was NTs have a whole grove of many trees roughly the same height. And autistics just have one tree, but it's huge.

Those are simplifications and how autism presents in as many different ways as their are autistics. Certain patterns are prevelant but all have exceptions. Their are outgoing social autistics, their are physically talanted ones, etc.

I was also in the group with good physical/sports skills and I found it a good place to hide uncomfortable interaction from people. I did team sports and masked to fit in, but preferred individual type sports (surfing/swimming/hiking/running, etc).

 

[Thinx]

Social and communication issues and processing delays or differences are central to autism, but as you say you may not get a diagnosis unless you tick some other boxes, which in my opinion are not necessarily predictive or guarantees the person has or does not have autism.

I self diagnosed and others here have done too, also many are diagnosed. You sound like you have the social communication and processing issues of ASD1/ autism, but you have many talents too, that again is not unusual in people with autism or ASD 1, 2 or 3. I am poor at sports due to clumsiness, that's not unusual, in autism, but possibly had I worked more on that area, or been taught sports in ways suited to me, I may have improved more.

I did a ton of therapy and improved my confidence and resilience and attachment security. Some others here improved physical issues by a lot of practice. It's possibly more important to find strategies than worry about a diagnosis. Maybe discuss all this more, here. Although they didn't diagnose you, they probably would have told you if they thought another diagnosis fitted.

 

[Slime_Punk]

3. I asked my father how his day was going on the phone, he said he and mom worked inside painting the house, finished, and are now to clean the conservatory. After a while for a final question I asked, so what are you going to do now? Clean the conservatory... not realizing the question had already been answered. I needed a direct question for the answer, like I'm on a routine, not processing things if I don't ask specifically. I mean, I did memorize what he said, I did categorize that the house is done and that the conservatory is something extra they wanted to do now, but my brain was not capable of holding it in the air throughout the conversation.

I like to call this a problem with 'lists' (or at least, that's how I see it).

Even if someone tells me, "We're going to go to X location to pick up person A, drop them off at Y location and then go to location Z" I have to literally backtrack just to figure out what step 1 is, sometimes rehearsing the script a few times before getting it right, and still missing something in between.

If I write it down, problem solved. If not, someone's going to be angry with me for sure.

 

[anonX]

I was also in the group with good physical/sports skills and I found it a good place to hide uncomfortable interaction from people. I did team sports and masked to fit in, but preferred individual type sports (surfing/swimming/hiking/running, etc).

Sports is the only thing that makes me feel alive, like I'm living and doing something in this world. Team sports wasn't an issue because most of the time you play and don't talk. The only problem was before and after the game, when people started socializing. Playing football as a kid I felt my problem, in half-time, when the players were discussing the first part of the game, I felt like I didn't remember anything, who scored, how we played, what was good/bad about the game. I felt like I actually didn't notice or see anything, strange... The other kids were discussing, I couldn't, I wasn't involved no matter how much I wanted. Many times the coach and players were telling, you did great, nice pass/score, well played. I couldn't get the grip that I had actually done that, in the back of my head yes, but detailed, like they saw it no.

Was it the same for you?