Is this a "me" thing, or an ASD thing?

[Zephyr]

Is it an AS thing to be good at all and anything academic and to be basically socially retarded? That's how I feel. I had crappy grades through elem-middle school due to being bullied and in an alternative school and then in disability classes I didn't need to be in. Then, 8th grade and above I had all straight A's til senior year. I pondered, "what's the point?" And skipped about 75% of the year with still all A's and 1 B averaging out a 3. G.P.A all high school. Is it AS and the creative approaches that make me this way, or something else? But I would rarely hang out with people, and I always group hopped, and would leave and walk away from people all the time and just walk around by myself. And I always ten to put my hands in my pocket, because I can't figure out where the hell else to put them to not feel awkward, so it's like my signature now. Is that also an AS thing?

 

[Zephyr]

Omg yes, I can get overly upset over just about anything, that's why I find it easier to not ask certain things, or even not approach people in general or else I feel horrible. It's kind of like, if someone had a brand new shiny bike, I would've (past tense) asked them to ride it, but say they needed to go somewhere, I wouldn't know why, I would've just wanted to ride the shiny new bike and I wouldn't of understood why and get super upset about it for no reason and never approach a situation like that again. Which I have had so many failed encounters like that, which I guess explains my awkwardness, I don't know. But yea, I think it is an AS thing.

 

[buckyboy14]

Why do they put us in Resource classes? Don't people know enough about Asperger's to know we don't usually struggle a lot in school? Resource was a complete blowoff for me. I'm glad they finally figured out that I don't need it, but why do they put us in there in the first place?

 

[Soup]

You're right, Buckyoy. As a teacher, I never understood this logic. Many Aspies are not only capable students, but gifted ones. More freedom to work autonomously would've greatly benefited me back in my high school days. It was the constant interaction with other students, some of them real @$$holes, that rendered my high school days untenable.

 

[Biblio-Love]

More freedom to work autonomously would've greatly benefited me back in my high school days. It was the constant interaction with other students, some of them real @$$holes, that rendered my high school days untenable.

That is what university is for. I did ok in high school, but really kicked ass in university when I could set my own schedule and do my own work. Very few collaborative projects in university, at least in the English Lit program. I have two university degrees, and then once I graduated I went two college and got some other certificates for fun. I almost failed grade 9 English (mostly because I was bored). My teacher was sure I was stupid and should be in the remedial class. If she only knew that I went on to get scholarships and receive my MA honours in English!

 

[Flinty]

Why do they put us in Resource classes? Don't people know enough about Asperger's to know we don't usually struggle a lot in school? Resource was a complete blowoff for me. I'm glad they finally figured out that I don't need it, but why do they put us in there in the first place?

In some cases it's all that can be done. It was considered for me in junior high (early 1980s) because my academic and personal performance were so unpredictable. I was never in danger of failing a class, but I blew off projects left and right, mostly because they seemed pointless to me - especially when aesthetics were part of the grade.

It should be noted that I was in a very small and isolated town, so there was no such thing as a gifted class. At math time, it was "here you go, you do this module because you actually remember stuff from prior years."

 

[Cerulean]

When I was just starting in school they put me in the accelerated reading class, because apparently I was one of only a few kids who could read by kindergarten. I used to have a book in every room at home and remember what page I was on in each one, and the greatest rule breaking I was occasionally allowed was reading at the dinner table. Ohh, reading at the table. So perfect yet so prohibited.

 

[pinklaces34]

When I was a kid and in the car I used to spell out the road signs in my head I didn't like it if the word didn't have an equal number of letters on each side - Now this must be just me??

I could also read really well at a young age, I was always told off for reading to quickly at school. I still read really quickly and people think I don't take it all in but I think I become more involved in a book than most people and I often think I have been watching a television programme when I am actually remembering a book I have read the images are so clear in my head

 

[music.forlife7]

For a girl, my voice sounds really deep on camera. Is this an AS thing to have an odd sounding voice? I wish my voice was softer sometimes.

 

[Cerulean]

@music- I'm the same way. I feel like my voice is much lower than it should be (I'm also a girl). And I HATE hearing it.

 

[music.forlife7]

My family members think my voice sounds feminine, but I don't think so.

 

[Flinty]

My voice isn't particularly masculine or feminine, it just sounds weird.

Is there anyone else who can't stand writing with a fine-point ballpoint pen - or anyone else doing the same - because of the noise it makes? But medium-point pens are fine.

 

[buckyboy14]

I can't stand marker pens, like Sharpies. The way they feel and sound on the paper is AWFUL.

 

[gailt915]

My voice isn't particularly masculine or feminine, it just sounds weird.

Is there anyone else who can't stand writing with a fine-point ballpoint pen - or anyone else doing the same - because of the noise it makes? But medium-point pens are fine.

I actually prefer fine point pens! I like how tiny I can write with them. I'm suprised I never noticed the sound they make! Noise sensitivity is my worst one.........but then I wear earplugs 24/7, so maybe that makes it so I can't hear that particular sound. My noise issues are mainly from the sounds people make when eating, drinking, breathing, chewing gum.......tho' tapping/banging type noises make me crazy too.

 

[Cerulean]

Pen noise I can tolerate, marker and pencil noise (especially mechanical pencils) I can't.

 

[Needtobreathe]

I could care less about pens and etc. one horrible noise is if someone rubs their hands on a gym floor to where they squeak, that drives me to where its finger-plugs-ear-flap-so-I-cant-hear-it state.

 

[gailt915]

I could care less about pens and etc. one horrible noise is if someone rubs their hands on a gym floor to where they squeak, that drives me to where its finger-plugs-ear-flap-so-I-cant-hear-it state.

Totally! Forget basketball games........all those sneakers shrieking their way across the floor for hours on end.......AAARRRRGGG!!!!

 

[King_Oni]

Over time I've been thinking, and I might even see if I can write up a more encompassing story about this in my blog. But I've been thinking... maybe worrying over past experiences as well as a lot of self-reflection. No, this is not about being able to get over things.

The thing I'm slightly wondering about now, is how a lot of, well... for lack of a better word "NT-traits", do not apply to me, and therefore the majority of articles and advice in the world out there are totally beyond me. Yes, being a non-NT is very much an ASD thing.

Every now and then, I end up on websites that deal with psychology, sometimes I end up opening up so-called self-help books. I'm not desperate for help mind you, but just for the kick of it... see what these books would tell me. Pretty much none I have come across so far gave me anything to where I'm like... "hey, that's a great idea... and I can identify with this so much".

Earlier today I read about motivation on a psychology website. I even feel that this is somewhat lacking in me. In the past I've had an argument with my ex-girlfriend who was slightly upset that I had this "to hell with the world, I don't care", where she pretty much claimed I had no actual drive and survival instinct. I don't disagree with her.

Perhaps it's not an ASD thing, perhaps it's depression. But I was like this as a kid, and to me going on about inherently human traits and not having this as a kid, does not make it "a depression"... it makes up for a different neurological debacle.

So perhaps the big questio here is

"Is it just me that I cannot relate to the majority (pretty much everything) of what makes us human (and not neccesarily NT actually) in terms of instinctual behaviour even or is this something a lot of us identify with?"

Hooray for existentialist dillemma's within the autism spectrum.

 

[Pella]

Totally! Forget basketball games........all those sneakers shrieking their way across the floor for hours on end.......AAARRRRGGG!!!!

I am not sure if that bothered me so much before, I was never really into sports, but now as I picture a basketball game in my head, the imaginary shrieking of sneakers in my head is really overwhelmingly loud.

 

[wyverary]

I am not sure if that bothered me so much before, I was never really into sports, but now as I picture a basketball game in my head, the imaginary shrieking of sneakers in my head is really overwhelmingly loud.

Same! Argh!