Is it bad that I find some people on the spectrum annoying?

[SunnyDay16]

I used to go to a program that gave ABA social skill therapy for kids on the spectrum and I found many of those kids annoying. Some had awful hygiene, would pick their noses and fart then laugh about it, some were know-it-alls who wouldn't shut up. I do feel bad for feeling annoyed at them because I know they probably don't realize how annoying they're being and it also reminds me of how annoying I used to act before I bettered those things. Let me know your thoughts.

 

[Chance]

We are human and we are all different ASD or not. You (or I) sometimes cant help but sense a smell, or an action that is offensive maybe to us, but not even noticed by others...

We are just what we are... How we handle the situation is where we can either move past it, or say something we wish we hadn't, or worse hold it inside and think on it till our brain is melting.

I have a person at work that smells. I'm not sure why. He never looks dirty. My big issue is he often rides with me. After he is gone and I am on my own somewhere I smell that smell in my truck and it kind of makes me upset. My truck is new. I like its new smell and now it has a funk in it. I have cleaned the seat, put leather conditioner on it, and about the time the smell is gone he is riding in the truck again...

So I have this battle going on in my head on how to get out of this craziness. Two problems... I am paid to use my truck for work, and this dude is not only an employee, but also my bro-in-law... Not an easy thing to deal with.

I have SPD (bad) very oversensitive hearing and smell, touch is just a nightmare but it is what it is. He's a great guy, but I what I smell is like soured clothes mixed with soured milk... Gagging thinking about it.

I just try and be nice and do anything I can to not noticeably avoid dealing with this too often.
I guess he could list about 1,000 things I do that bother him, so with that in mind... I am cautious to say anything : )

 

[Ming of Mongo]

Some of us are really annoying. That's just how it is.

Makes me remember a kid I knew growing up, who was in a wheelchair. I felt bad for thinking he was an asshole. But he was really an asshole.

How you feel about people is your own business, and you should never kick yourself about it.

 

[dragoncat16]

In my experience, kids (whether on the spectrum or not) with bad hygiene that pick their noses and fart and laugh about it are called boys. Some of them will grow out of it.

 

[SunnyDay16]

In my experience, kids (whether on the spectrum or not) with bad hygiene that pick their noses and fart and laugh about it are called boys. Some of them will grow out of it.

If I recall, the kids that did that there were definitely boys.

 

[Suzanne]

It sure does make some uncomfort feelings, so I get what you are saying.

As Chance says, we are still human and sadly, imperfect, which means that we are contradictory etc, even as aspies; but even knowing that,doesn't stop me. When I feel wound up with my husband, who is not an aspie, but twirls cap tops or makes annoying noises or puts things on his eyes, thinking he is funny. It REALLY winds me up and YET, I bounce my legs and twirl things in my hands; so major hypocritical thinking going on there, but doesn't make it any better for annoyance.

I hate it when people go on and on and on and do not even give you the courtesy of joining in, but I know that I go on and on when it is a subject that I am passionate about but I do wait to hear their thoughts.

And, there are occasions when my husband has taken something literal ( oh yes, nts do and as one nt said to me: we all have those traits, but I guess you aspies have them ten fold)? Anyway, I get annoyed and even think: are you stupid or something? I feel mortified to have that thought, since I virtually ALWAYS take things literal, which has got me to appreciate why nts may find me exhasperating to deal with.

I think what we are guilty of doing, is thinking that we are a superior race to nts and so, we act accordingly. Of course, it is understandable, since we have had to live in the nt world and deal with all their rubbish and then, find a group of people who think almost as we do, that suddenly we put ourselves in a box, which points the "fingers" at those nts, who really are shameful people.

For me, it helps maintain a bit of balance; seeing that I have no right demand something that I am not willing to give.

 

[SunnyDay16]

We are human and we are all different ASD or not. You (or I) sometimes cant help but sense a smell, or an action that is offensive maybe to us, but not even noticed by others...

We are just what we are... How we handle the situation is where we can either move past it, or say something we wish we hadn't, or worse hold it inside and think on it till our brain is melting.

I have a person at work that smells. I'm not sure why. He never looks dirty. My big issue is he often rides with me. After he is gone and I am on my own somewhere I smell that smell in my truck and it kind of makes me upset. My truck is new. I like its new smell and now it has a funk in it. I have cleaned the seat, put leather conditioner on it, and about the time the smell is gone he is riding in the truck again...

So I have this battle going on in my head on how to get out of this craziness. Two problems... I am paid to use my truck for work, and this dude is not only an employee, but also my bro-in-law... Not an easy thing to deal with.

I have SPD (bad) very oversensitive hearing and smell, touch is just a nightmare but it is what it is. He's a great guy, but I what I smell is like soured clothes mixed with soured milk... Gagging thinking about it.

I just try and be nice and do anything I can to not noticeably avoid dealing with this too often.
I guess he could list about 1,000 things I do that bother him, so with that in mind... I am cautious to say anything : )

I do definitely agree that we all should be who we are, but I also think there should be a basic standard for personal hygiene. Not showering doesn't just affect the person in question, it also affects everyone around him/her. It's different if someone is poor and can't afford hygiene products, but everyone should be taught basic personal hygiene and manners, spectrum or not.

 

[OkRad]

We are human and we are all different ASD or not. You (or I) sometimes cant help but sense a smell, or an action that is offensive maybe to us, but not even noticed by others...

We are just what we are... How we handle the situation is where we can either move past it, or say something we wish we hadn't, or worse hold it inside and think on it till our brain is melting.

I have a person at work that smells. I'm not sure why. He never looks dirty. My big issue is he often rides with me. After he is gone and I am on my own somewhere I smell that smell in my truck and it kind of makes me upset. My truck is new. I like its new smell and now it has a funk in it. I have cleaned the seat, put leather conditioner on it, and about the time the smell is gone he is riding in the truck again...

So I have this battle going on in my head on how to get out of this craziness. Two problems... I am paid to use my truck for work, and this dude is not only an employee, but also my bro-in-law... Not an easy thing to deal with.

I have SPD (bad) very oversensitive hearing and smell, touch is just a nightmare but it is what it is. He's a great guy, but I what I smell is like soured clothes mixed with soured milk... Gagging thinking about it.

I just try and be nice and do anything I can to not noticeably avoid dealing with this too often.
I guess he could list about 1,000 things I do that bother him, so with that in mind... I am cautious to say anything : )

OMGosh you are brave. I have SPD nad no way no how no one comes in my car unless they are family or fixing it!! Use 7th Gen disinfectant Spray. It really helps. Also Orange cleaners like from Wholefoods

 

[OkRad]

I used to go to a program that gave ABA social skill therapy for kids on the spectrum and I found many of those kids annoying. Some had awful hygiene, would pick their noses and fart then laugh about it, some were know-it-alls who wouldn't shut up. I do feel bad for feeling annoyed at them because I know they probably don't realize how annoying they're being and it also reminds me of how annoying I used to act before I bettered those things. Let me know your thoughts.

Hi Sunny. Yes, I would find that repulsive, but when I do find people like that repulsive, I immediately remind myself that that is how others probably see me. I am quite bizarre and odd unless I take great pains to look and act normal. I don't do things like fart and pick my nose. But I am just one of those weird odd people. So I try to be kind to everyone.

 

[dragoncat16]

The guy probably doesn't realize he stinks. When you're around a smell all the time you stop being able to smell it. I have known people like that and nobody, not me, not NTs, not anyone I know, has found a good way to gently let someone know they stink. One guy was even married! I mean, his wife must have been born without a nose or something. Ugh!

 

[Mary Terry]

Yuck. I used to have a couple of employees with bad body odors. One was a young male attorney who drank gallons of coffee around the clock. I swear his pores oozed the stench of soured coffee, not to mention his breath. His paralegal (loved that girl!) finally told him that she couldn't stand going inside his office because it smelled horrible due to his breath. He changed something - eating breath mints? - and the stench improved.

I had a female employee who apparently did not bathe with any regularity, launder her clothes, or wear deoderant. She also wore terribly bad fitting bras under thin shirts that you could see right through to her nipples and grossed out the male employees whom she hallucinated she sexually appealed to. I finally fired her after she sexually harassed a gay male temporary employee by claiming she could convert him to heterosexuality if he would sleep with her. He was offended, I was offended, and the laws of the USA were offended.

Last example was a very fat female employee who just plain old stunk. I slipped some deoderant, some scented body wash, and some mouthwash into her desk drawer after work one night but said nothing to her. I think she got the message to clean up her act but she never knew who put those items in her desk.

 

[kay]

Being on the Spectrum is a bit like being left-handed, short, or having high arches. It's just one component of a person and it doesn't make someone immune to being annoying. My sister was once diagnosed with PDD-NOS (a diagnosis she choose to ignore and go with another diagnosis of just anxiety) and she's annoying, at least to me. Of course she's my sister so I suppose she's suppose to annoy me.The bad hygiene might be due to sensory issues but as kids it was their parents failing for not finding suitable way to clean the kid.

@Chance I know at least two guys who to me stink terribly but I seem to be the only one who smells it. And they are both appear to be extremely well groomed. But to me, yuk! So sorry about your truck getting funky smell in it.

 

[VioletHaze_03]

annoying people are still annoying people, doesn't matter whether they're on the spectrum or not. an example of this: a few weeks ago, this guy was yelling at me on an online forum because I 'was dull like a robot' and 'I should be happy and show emotion like a normal girl'(how one types like a robot, I am still unsure of) so I explained to this guy that my asd made me somewhat emotionless to those I didn't fully trust. he congratulated me on making him angry, I think he wanted me to feel his wrath or something? (other than his weird brony fanfics, he didn't have much of a wrath.) he said he was autistic, and he wasn't emotionless, so why was I? in the end, he felt the wrath of my ignore button. anyway, long story short, anyone can be a jerk-face. at some point in our lives, we're all bound to be a jerk-face, autistic or not. autism does not excuse being a horrible person. but it doesn't guarantee that you're gonna be the best person alive. only you can do that

 

[SunnyDay16]

Yuck. I used to have a couple of employees with bad body odors. One was a young male attorney who drank gallons of coffee around the clock. I swear his pores oozed the stench of soured coffee, not to mention his breath. His paralegal (loved that girl!) finally told him that she couldn't stand going inside his office because it smelled horrible due to his breath. He changed something - eating breath mints? - and the stench improved.

I had a female employee who apparently did not bathe with any regularity, launder her clothes, or wear deoderant. She also wore terribly bad fitting bras under thin shirts that you could see right through to her nipples and grossed out the male employees whom she hallucinated she sexually appealed to. I finally fired her after she sexually harassed a gay male temporary employee by claiming she could convert him to heterosexuality if he would sleep with her. He was offended, I was offended, and the laws of the USA were offended.

Last example was a very fat female employee who just plain old stunk. I slipped some deoderant, some scented body wash, and some mouthwash into her desk drawer after work one night but said nothing to her. I think she got the message to clean up her act but she never knew who put those items in her desk.

Yikes! That is very offensive.

 

[SunnyDay16]

annoying people are still annoying people, doesn't matter whether they're on the spectrum or not. an example of this: a few weeks ago, this guy was yelling at me on an online forum because I 'was dull like a robot' and 'I should be happy and show emotion like a normal girl'(how one types like a robot, I am still unsure of) so I explained to this guy that my asd made me somewhat emotionless to those I didn't fully trust. he congratulated me on making him angry, I think he wanted me to feel his wrath or something? (other than his weird brony fanfics, he didn't have much of a wrath.) he said he was autistic, and he wasn't emotionless, so why was I? in the end, he felt the wrath of my ignore button. anyway, long story short, anyone can be a jerk-face. at some point in our lives, we're all bound to be a jerk-face, autistic or not. autism does not excuse being a horrible person. but it doesn't guarantee that you're gonna be the best person alive. only you can do that

He does sound pretty annoying. I would probably have done the same in your position.

 

[xudo]

I think there will always be people who annoy you, whether they be on the spectrum or not.

 

[Marcus]

I feel like I have no room to talk on this subject at all because I think I'm the most annoying person on the face of this Earth.. I have so many ticks and other things that set me off, it's hard to imagine anyone could be worse than me.

But, I have found a lot of people in my life that I've encountered to be annoying... especially people at work that tell you what they think of you whether or not you want to hear it. The most annoying thing to me is people that constantly have their nose in the air and think everything in the world belongs to them.. unfortunately the area I live in is full of that.

 

[convallaria]

I'm annoyed by people who even look unkempt. (even moles on the face, scars, excess weight, acne, although I know that it's horrible to judge someone because of how they looks.) they can do nothing, but they will just annoy me. I understand that I, too, can annoy someone. that's life. it is impossible to please everyone. and of course this behavior of kids that you describe in a post annoys me very much. if I were their mother I would not let them go out until they learn how to behave normally.

 

[OrSomething]

I certainly don't get along perfectly with every autistic person I've met. Some, both in real life and on online forums, I find rude or arrogant. Autistic people are just human like everyone else; we have strengths and weaknesses.

 

[Lydiasaurus]

No, many of my friends are autistic, so is my girlfriend. My mother is too, my dad probably is as well. But there are some people on the spectrum I've met who really infuriate me. Same with NTs though, there are some I like and some I really don't like.