Is being evaluated for Asperger's as an adult worth it?

[Mr Allen]

I think it would be, as an Autistic you'd be able to get some services as well that you might not without a diagnosis.

In theory you should be able to yeah, but in practice, accessing those services is like pulling teeth, you literally have to jump through several hoops before the "Powers that be" will even talk to you.

 

[Forgotten Aspie]

I'm 59 and was just diagnosed February of this year. The diagnosis verified what I knew in my gut. When I put the pieces together it was an amazing revelation to me. All my life I was looking for something I could never define. This was it.. and finding it helped me feel whole - I felt a peace I never knew before - I found the key to all the issues in my life - Now it has opened a new journey of self-realization and exploration. It has been a positive but emotional undertaking to understand how much of my autistic traits have been suppressed all my life. What "good" will it do me? I"m not sure the final results, but I feel whole now, and I've met my true autistic community. Before I felt almost totally alone.

 

[Phanelope]

I’m being assessed tomorrow.

 

[ezcare]

Hello,

I have felt very different from my peers since childhood. My interactions with them feel to confirm that they also find me different. I have been told directly on multiple occasions. This has caused me severe distress for most of my life. I have always had trouble socializing, and when I do manage to gain "acceptance" by a group, I typically feel like an outsider within that group. I have suffered from depression at my inability to connect with others, which I crave, and have almost taken my life in the past.

I have managed to woo someone, and I am now married. Although I don't have friends that I see, I do love my wife, and am grateful for her. Though, I still feel very alone, and disconnected. This has caused problems in our marriage.

I suspect that I may fall under an Asperger's diagnosis. To my eye, I display a great many of the typical symptoms.

My question: I am 31. Even if it's true, the disorder hasn't stopped me from finding a mate, and a gainful career. Is it really worth while to seek an evaluation? Especially considering that there isn't much for me in the way of interventions, and labeling a thing doesn't really change it.

 

[ezcare]

My question: I am 31. Even if it's true, the disorder hasn't stopped me from finding a mate, and a gainful career. Is it really worth while to seek an evaluation? Especially considering that there isn't much for me in the way of interventions, and labeling a thing doesn't really change it.

I am in my 70's. Like you I have had a gainful and moderately successful career. I have been married for 40+ years and only sought confirmation of suspected Asperger's after reading posts from Aspies on social media. I was in my 50's then and, like you, was experiencing marriage difficulties arising out of my inability to interact in a "romantic" way with my wife. Though I loved her intensely, I just did not know how to show it in ways that a non-aspie would appreciate. So based on my suspicions that I might fall on the Spectrum, I sought counseling and took the Test. Although I had managed to overcome many of the Aspie traits on my own [long panful experience] there was still enough evidence to place me within the Spectrum as moderate. This did not help my wife feel better about me but it sure helped me feel better about myself. Since I did not seek formal counseling I did not have to wear the Label. But was able to get the help I needed through sites like this one and am now very aware of how my "idiosyncrasies" affect my wife. So I know what to avoid and what to build on in our relationship. Things are better between us now and I feel much better about myself too. So to answer your question: You are the only one who can change yourself. Labeling a thing does not change it but does provide tools that can make it easier.

 

[ezcare]

My wife says that it did not make any difference, I am still weird.

If our non-aspie partners could change places with us for a few days they would understand how really weird they seem to us ;-)). How long have you been married?

 

[clg114]

If our non-aspie partners could change places with us for a few days they would understand how really weird they seem to us ;-)). How long have you been married?

We have been married for 46 years. We got married just before our oldest daughter was born. We have been together for 52 years. I was 20 and she was 16 when we meet. These days I probably would have been arrested for that.

I did not know that I was autistic until 10 years ago. She just always accepted my weirdness. When I was diagnosed, it explained a lot for both of us. I am a very, very lucky man.

 

[Phanelope]

I’m not sure which country you live in, but I live in Australia and at my assessment yesterday my psychologist told me I’m eligible for up to $17,000 a year in funding that can go towards therapy, school help or job finding help. That’s a pretty good reason to get assessed for me. However, if you already have a job you like and you don’t think you need any extra help, maybe you don’t need the assessment.

 

[Phanelope]

If our non-aspie partners could change places with us for a few days they would understand how really weird they seem to us ;-)). How long have you been married?

Yes I’ve always felt like everyone else was weird, especially my husband. I never understood why he couldn’t hear, smell, see the things I did. I also have accused him repeatedly of ignoring me. Well according to my assessment yesterday I’m the weird one who hears, smells and sees things that others don’t and who apparently only talks in my mind and not out loud.

 

[ezcare]

When I was diagnosed, it explained a lot for both of us. I am a very, very lucky man.

Yes indeed! Please share some stories about your struggles and triumphs on this forum. With all the labeling and fixin going around these days our younger members need to know that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train wreck.