1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Is Autism a Gift? Or are you suffering?

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by Derp, Sep 30, 2018.

  1. TempeFan

    TempeFan Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    358
    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2018
    Karma:
    +684
    I think having Asperger's actually saved my life. Had I been born NT instead of Aspy - into the situation I was stuck with, I probably would have died decades ago.

    The irresponsible morons who forced me into this world tossed me into the state system at birth. Then the cruel hearted government officials randomly dumped me all alone into a horrid hoarder house to be tormented forever by a rageaholic woman and her codependant husband. This left me twice abandoned by two sets of unfit parents before I was even 1 day old. After being socially and emotionally amputated, it took me over half a century to figure out I had an unusual brain that makes it impossible to function as a typical dishonest unkind irrational illogical human being. Most abused kids who grew up in a vacuum like I did and suffered as much as I did, have commited suicide or homicide or at least been self medicating junkies, runaways, in jail, etc. before they reached adulthood. I'm still not able to wrap my head around doing the normal wrong thing, so I've never engaged in any normal nonsensical self destructive or criminal behaviour. Why should I bother when there is an entire world out there dedicated to that particular endeavor?

    I'm just not like normal people. Back then, I honestly believed once I was no longer being isolated by my keepers in their dungeon, that I could eventually find a place where I belonged and eventually I did. I was able to wait out an abusive childhood and even take comfort in the solitude of being born totally unloved and unwanted. I didn't realize my lack of popularity was due to my lack of deceitfulness and prejudice.

    Now I play outdoors almost everyday the sun shines, exercise and do puzzles and read real books on paper, have a therapy cat named Cuddles and an affectionate attentive husband to do stuff with TOGETHER. We have no marital strife and no addictions, obsessions, or bad behaviors, which just don't make sense to interfere with our lives. Once I realized employment, healthcare, and public accommodation would never be an option, I stopped expending all my energy to fit in and to achieve social status I didn't even want. It's just not in the cards, my genes or our repitoire. I'd rather be here, because exile is so much better than the rat race normal people face.
     
    • Winner Winner x 3
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  2. china autie

    china autie friend to dogs and frogs and cats

    Messages:
    512
    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,069
    "High-functioning" for me means an excuse rendered by professionals for non-willingness to recognize my struggles.
    I am a gift. Being autistic is part of my identity.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Ray Nite

    Ray Nite Bp agent

    Messages:
    21
    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2018
    Karma:
    +23
    I agree. It isn't my autism that makes me look nice. Ugh.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 2, 2018
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Bella Pines

    Bella Pines Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    898
    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2017
    Karma:
    +1,870
    Sorry, I'm on team gift :)

    Not because it makes us supermen, or geniuses. I'm certainly not naturally happy, and I struggle EVERY SINGLE DAY. Depression stalks me, I hate people and socializing and find commuting to an open plan office a plastic hell. I hate that NT sheep seem to land on their feet without trying and form near impenetrable cliques. But, the more I dwell on these hard realities, the more miserable I get and the closer my depression stalker gets.

    On the flip side, I'm awake. I see things that NTs ignore. I'm straight forward, I don't make decisions from emotions. I have choice. NTs don't have that choice. They are conditioned to follow society, they are unable to think logically and look from the outside in. They don't see patterns. They don't see the world so loud and bright and vibrant.

    So for me, it's not about flying around in red pants, it's about not being a zombie.
     
    • Winner Winner x 3
    • Like Like x 2
  5. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,149
    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2016
    Karma:
    +4,616
    Who would I be if I wasn't autistic?

    My vivid imagination, ability to empathize with anyone from cats and dogs to babies and people from all walks of life, my ability to systematize, even my VAST AMOUNTS OF SENSORY INPUT: they all make me, ME.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  6. TempeFan

    TempeFan Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    358
    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2018
    Karma:
    +684
    Yes! We are people not sheeple, forced to be amazing to overcome this extra challenge.

    Come to think of it, sheeple don't have it so good either. They too struggle with depression and self loathing everyday. Some of the nicest NTs I know are exhausted trying to please the other sheeple and the meanest NTs are overworked trying to manipulate sheeple. Life's not so easy for anyone. The grass might look greener on the other side but sometimes it's more fun to go mudding.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  7. the_tortoise

    the_tortoise Lost Soul V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    1,892
    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2016
    Karma:
    +3,501
    It bothers me immensely that they do this.

    They are trying to portray a positive image of autism to reduce stigma, I think; Which is well-intentioned but actually makes things worse for the majority of autistic people who are just ordinary people with a disability. The message they end up sending is that disability is something to be accepted and understood if you have enough extra-ordinary ability to somehow make up for/cancel out the disability.

    Being disabled without extraordinary gifts doesn't mean you don't have ordinary gifts that are valuable to yourself and to society, or that you aren't a valuable person and a relateable person in the ways that matter most (like having feelings, hopes, dreams, needs, ideas, likes and dislikes).

    What needs to happen, in my opinion, is not to portray disabled people (like so many of us autistics) as not-disabled, or as having super-abilities that somehow "make up for" the disability, but to work to change the idea that disability (or just plain different-ness, whether or not it qualifies as a disability) is an inherently terrible thing -- to portray us as people with ordinary things to contribute, to make our disability/differences more familiar and less frightening to people; Disability certainly can be a terrible thing, but it doesn't have to be a terrible thing as often as it is....accomodations/support, understanding, and acceptance can be what makes the difference between a happy and fulfilling life and a miserable one.

    They should be pointing out that all people have value, and that you don't have to be some kind of super-genius to be worthy of the kinds of things non-disabled people often take for granted (not always of course, but i'm ignoring other kinds of prejudice and social disadvantages and the complicated intersections between various types of prejudice and social disadvantages for the sake of brevity)....like relative safety in your community, and opportunities to contribute whatever you may be able to contribute no matter how big or small that contribution may be.
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2018
    • Winner Winner x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
  8. Bella Pines

    Bella Pines Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    898
    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2017
    Karma:
    +1,870
    Some really good and interesting points above. The actual gifts of autism, like seeing things as fake and pointless, are frowned upon. The world focuses on what they deem acceptable. And ironically, even that is in retrospect! The 0.001% of geniuses like that enigma machine guy, were marginalized and rejected along with the rest of us!

    And @TempeFan, the word "sheeple" has literally made my year. That captures it to a tee! I'm adding it to my every day vocabulary to replace NTs. Now THAT is true genus in action.
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2018
    • Funny Funny x 1
  9. FreeDiver

    FreeDiver How long can you hold your breath? V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    767
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2015
    Karma:
    +1,433
    I have to agree with you on this. It's like professional football. NT's are absolutely obsessed with that sport. For me, I could careless and I don't see the point of why they do it.

    Alan Turing wasn't just autistic. He was also gay. And that was kind of a double whammy for him. And sadly though, His genius in helping to crack the German enigma code did not help him earn enough redemption points to make NT's overlook his shortcomings.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  10. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,149
    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2016
    Karma:
    +4,616
    All this SO SO much. It is not just the NTs: I have come to believe it is a systematic form of oppression for a purpose.

    By harnessing survival traits like social communication and desire for group approval, and then weaponizing it into constant and abusive conformity to some imagined ideal.

    Sex roles do this: one way to be a MAN and one way to be a WOMAN and everyone is vulnerable to not fitting it in some way or another.

    Religion does this: there is only one way to be a "good" XYZ and people are ruthlessly policed to fit into it.

    It is not good for any human being. WE are trying to tell them that!
     
  11. Derp

    Derp Member

    Messages:
    38
    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2018
    Karma:
    +38
    If you think your autism helps you that's great but I'm sick of hearing everyone act like a "Special Snow Flake" just because they have autism or something.
    That's great you like obscure or unpopular things but your not some kind of genius because you don't like something that's popular
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
  12. nowwhat

    nowwhat Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    990
    Joined:
    May 29, 2013
    Karma:
    +1,281
    Agreed wholeheartedly. And the truth is, most savants live painful, difficult and isolated lives despite their narrow wedge of exceptional ebilities.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  13. AspieAngel

    AspieAngel Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    22
    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2014
    Karma:
    +41
    I don't really see it as a gift or a curse. I see it as a part of me, just how I'm wired. What really gets my hackles up is either "you don't look autistic" or "you can't be autistic, you have a sense of humor." Unfortunately, to the general populace, you're either a genius or a completely incapacitated ball of nerves. No matter where you are on the spectrum, you deserve respect and to be accepted for who you are as an individual, not bound by pre-conceived notions about how we're supposed to behave.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  14. Derp

    Derp Member

    Messages:
    38
    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2018
    Karma:
    +38
  15. FreeDiver

    FreeDiver How long can you hold your breath? V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    767
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2015
    Karma:
    +1,433
    The only thing that autism causes for me is that it wreaks utter havoc on my social life. Beyond that. It doesn't cause me any real pain of suffering. If that's what you're asking?
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2019
    • Agree Agree x 2
  16. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,519
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Karma:
    +6,387
    Well, I have never considered myself a "special snowflake", but I do think that my ASD has more positives than negatives. I like being a Aspie, however I do realize that not everybody feels this way. I just choose to be a happy person. I like being a happy person.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  17. Derp

    Derp Member

    Messages:
    38
    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2018
    Karma:
    +38
    just wanted to hear other peoples opinion
     
  18. BrokenBoy

    BrokenBoy 戯言使い(Nonsense User)

    Messages:
    305
    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2018
    Karma:
    +542
    It's living hell. I'm well aware that there never can be a cure but if there ever was, I'd do anything to get my hands on it.

    Unlike most people on the spectrum, there is no benefits for me having it. It's just suffering. I feel broken, cursed, you name it. I'm experiencing a depressive episode just typing this out.

    Why? Why did the world have to make me autistic? Why did I have be a monster?
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Friendly Friendly x 3
  19. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,083
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +6,010
    Because of how integrated "my autism" is into myself as a whole, it's hard to say exactly how much "suffering" for which it's responsible. If I do isolate the more obvious autistic features, I can point to various distresses they contribute towards, but these are able to be compensated for, managed, etc.

    Far closer to being a curse would be BPD and ADHD. In fact, just this past week or two has been consumed with irrational fear of abandonment toward a specific person. As many of us know, it's often the fear of abandonment which ironically leads to actual abandonment, possibly being the sub-conscious motivation of the initial fear and its consequent actions.

    Intrusive thoughts of self-harm and suicide with ridiculous rationale and embarrassing resulting behavior--this is more what I think of when I think of "my suffering," especially as of late.

    Autism, though, has pros and cons and is an entirely different entity than the above illness, with Autism not even being an illness.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2019
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  20. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    2,825
    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2017
    Karma:
    +7,348
    My suffering comes from my comorbid disorders (depression, generalized anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder and psychotic tendencies). The ASD doesn't necessarily cause me suffering, it just means I need to do things a little differently than I originally intended.
     
    • Agree Agree x 7
    • Like Like x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1