Introducing me, a young man in the journey of his existance

[Gulas]

Greetings earthlings!

No, I'm not a alien. I'm a human male, 20 years old. I study mechatronics engineering. I've made some online tests about aspergers, it turns out I fit in it's description. Though I always suspected that I was somehow different.

I've grown-up in an abusive family. I look at the past and there are things I don't want to remember. But the past stay in the past, I don't hate my parents, I'm just indifferent. I've got a life to live, to improve. Though I love my younger brother, even though I'm bad expressing it.

I don't like the label of a aspie, because everyone is different, there is more in me than words can describe. I don't want to use the aspenger syndrome as an excuse to not trying to improve me, to do things I want. Actually, I don't like labels or stereotypes at all. They distort the truth.

Though it's true I have difficulties in socializing, expressing my feelings, making new friends. It's true that people sometimes call me brainiac.

I love video-games, math, robots, RPG's, a good story, learning, girls, etc.

Speaking of girls, I'm trying to improve in the romantic field. Like, if the girl is taken, or is unnatractive in my eyes, I can interact with them, ok there's some awkwardness sometimes, but no big deal. But if I think the girl is attractive or have a cute smile, I get nervous, sweaty, not knowing what to say, and I usually avoid these girls just to avoid these feelings. Though sometimes I try to flirt, knowing it's ok to be nervous, it doesn't make me a worse person, it's ok to be me, even though I suck at it.

And this forum makes me realize that I'm not the only one with these issues. That there's people in a very similar situation that might help me, as well I might help them.

However, I'm confortable with big crowds. There I don't have to talk to no one, nobody cares about me, nobody is watching me, nobody expects me to behave in some way, I can just be me.

My main purpose here is to be a wise man, I like learning about life and the universe. I want to improve my life, enjoy it's beauty, before I die.

That's all, folks.

See ya

 

[wyverary]

Welcome, Gulas!

Not a one of us "fits into a box"...we are as varied and unique as the rest of the population...which keeps things interesting and everyone has their own insights.

I cannot help you with the romantic thing, but many here probably can. Ask about!

Love,
wyv

 

[Jacki Cucinotta]

Hi Gulas! Welcome to Aspies Central.

I can agree with you to an extent about stereotyping in that they tend to generalize too much (and like you said, often distort the facts). Something I can tell you is that this is not a place where members stereotype others based on first impressions. We're very accepting and caring, so much so that I like to think of this great community as a close-knit family. Along the same lines, we don't judge, so feel free to chat with us and create a conversation any time you like. Hope you enjoy all we have to offer here.

 

[Gulas]

Thank you all! I've never felt so welcomed on the internet. Usually people like to troll or bring their ugly sides. Or they like to argue with totalitarianism and drama.

Although here it felt really good. I'm not really good with words, and can't really express my feelings well, but it's great. Thanks.

I'm addicted in reading this things in this forums, like 5-8 hours a day in this weekend. Lol. There are really some wisdom here, as good stories and good people.

That's all.

See ya around.

 

[Nolan1971]

Welcome to AC Gulas I have found just concentrating on building a friendship (far less pressure) is very helpful since it has
far less expectation then if it does work out wonderful.

 

[Gulas]

Welcome to AC Gulas I have found just concentrating on building a friendship (far less pressure) is very helpful since it has
far less expectation then if it does work out wonderful.

That's some good advice. I've never built a solid friendship with a women. I might try it.

But it feels so fake. Like trying to befriend a woman just to get her pants off or a relationship? For me this is manipulation.

My preferences are cut the ********, cut the small talk, or any subject without purpose and be try be honest and real (BTW I'm obsessed with purpose, meaning of things and universe). But being that confident is easier said than done.

I've been sugested exposure therapy to fight social anxiety and start small talks with ramdom girls. Sounds easy right? NO. It took me months to be mentally ready, to convince myself socializing is NOT ALWAYS bad, awful, and MIGHT be pleasant.

So I started nervously talking to this ramdom cute girl, about the cold and weather, and she wondered "Did you confuse me with someone else? Why are you talking to me."

So I said "Ok, I'll go now."

I believe it would be more simple to show romantic interests in the beggining, whether she could accept me or reject me is her choice. The talk would have purpose, meaning; if she rejects me, great, I won't waste our time, if she wants me, great, let's invest time in ourselves. Of course, it's easier said than done, for me it still a hard quest.

Obviously there's more in a woman than appearance. One thing that is a huge turn off is dumb girls. At least for me.

I'll plan investing in friendships, who can predict the future and what might happen?

And again, easier said than done...

 

[Explosition_Rooster]

Hello Gulas. It's nice to finally meet you! As for, uuuugggghhhhhh, social interactions outside of electronic instruments I have those problems too.