Interesting Presentation On Autistic Women Masking

[Judge]

I think what interested me most in this presentation was the amount of detail of the how and whys of why we mask, whether involving autistic male or females.

 

[Darkkin]

The title on this is a serious misnomer. The topic is unmasking in general, leading perspective, (male, pretty singularly from the speaker's sole perspective), a trait found in most autistics. The singular fixed perspective and missing (real female context) is another illustrated trait of autism. Lots of decent information, but not when relating to female unmasking...

If one wants to talk about unmasking in females specifically and the biases inherently associated with it, listen to female autistics, don't assume that information while presented by an autistic (male) is accurate in any stretch of the imagination.

Masking is universal across the spectrum, but females are generally more adept at it simply because of how we are raised and the social expectations that often accompany our gender. Female autistics are not making assumptions about their unmasking because they are living, primary sources of real world information.

A question and answer format featuring a female autistic with a male vs. female compare and contrast trait side by side probably would have been a more effective way to go.

My hyperspecific critique on failure to effectively connect the title to the topic is very definitely one of my autistics traits. Female autistics tend to lean toward hyperlexia. We can often read by a young age and learn to speak early in development.

The sway toward these hyperdeveloped skills are the basis for our masking skills as we grow. We can wield language like a shield and as children will practice different facial expressions in front of a mirror. We can often be very responsive to the emotions of others and can be labeled as high strung or highly sensitive. We often jive much better with adults than with our peers.

Physical appearance also plays a significant role in the preceptions of others. If you know how to dress well, speak well, and possess regular features people never assume you have issues. Things like knowledge gaps or struggles with simple tasks like remembering to renew your car tabs or going to pieces when you cannot get your allergy medication refilled before you run out seem like aberrations in an otherwise highly capable adult.

In cases when dealing with selective mutism due to an overwhelming situation, people assume that you are angry or pouting, rather than in the middle of a sensory shutdown. It isn't that you don't want to speak up and clarify; it is quite simply that you cannot. Your hyperlexic brain is frozen and needs to reboot. The need to escape the situation can leave you with labels of snobbish or selfish.

Migraines (often from a young age) are a very common occurrence, generally stemming from sensory triggers that overwhelm a divergent nervous system. Food proclivities and physical clumsiness are often present as well. While not diagnostic criteria, they are definitely subtle, but notable traits that can indicate autism in a female.

One of the best resources I've found on female autistics, by a female autistic is The Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg.

 

[Kemetic]

@Darkkin thank you so much!
Apart from the migraines ( thank the gods), this ticks all the boxes of my experience. I need to get that book you mention...

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Masking is universal across the spectrum, but females are generally more adept at it simply because of how we are raised and the social expectations that often accompany our gender.

Its good to have you back, I had missed you.

So now we have this old debate back. Are men-woman differences socially based as you sugest here or... there are also gender neurological differences that also account for a better masking in women.

Its an interesting topic.

 

[Kayla55]

Burnt at the stake as witch or being left handed perhaps ambidextrous male with holes drilled through mental cap.

Interesting my male friend said ambidextrous use both left ND right brains, ha ha. I beg to differ schitso can be slightly arty but still tends to interpret on left side of brain therefore getting everything socially wrong. Nope, women are not writing with left hands but can perform most other tasks well. Teaching my boy to chop veggies as lefty I realised how upside down his world was....and how at times I could pick up fake people and avoid them whereas he hadn't learnt this or ability to white lie back to get rid of bad situation.
I wish I had more aspire male friends as actually helpful and don't have the sexual harassment factor.
Interestingly a female meltdown is often delayed and in response to masking and feeling pressure to do things don't actually agree with. I had that phase as teen, like why did I behave like that, what's with me. So back to the uncredited witch I am better at representing math graphically as in pictures to show converting decimals to fractions, my son gives correct answer and no calculus (he's young) do I think I'm a mathematician or good algebra, better than most men but nope not that rare genius. Yes, understanding mechanics is easier than trying to survive a live in boyfriend.
What phases me more is sexism and if I ever had a daughter she would have permanent medical alert bracelet but really in today's porno world, would it help? I've being victimised out of office too many times, and it's not aspire men who are like this, it's men in general.
My male friend cried the other day, about feeling and emotions. Now at this stage I only used term amnesia as sounds nicer than repressed memories but catatonia and alexythemia were what I realised were his issues and how it affected me but it was overshadowed by other factors.
Having a big sister can emotionally regulate a male sibling more, having an aspie mom who's venting and swirling over the fake and inconsideration can be a Ying yang.