Insomnia, poor dream recall and general sleep frustration

[everywhere and nowhere]

Do other people have serious problems with sleep?
I sleep very poorly. Very often I can't fall asleep, I also often wake up at night and have trouble falling asleep again. I often wake up too late after I finally manage to fall asleep. The only good thing about it is that I have gotten used to it and have learned to function fine with six hours of sleep.
I hate sleeping for so many reasons... All this frustration related to insomnia. The feeling that sleep is a waste of time; if I could, I'd really prefer to read, write or play adventure games at that time.
Very poor dream recall - I usually remember nothing at all after waking up, I recall about... two dreams per month on average? And my dreams are pretty banal. I consider myself an intelligent person, a person with much imagination (I can't visualise, however - I can "think about how does something look like", but never actually see it with eyes closed) - and yet my dreams are usually pretty boring. So I don't even have the "bonus" in form of dreams, nothing to look forward to other than finally waking up...
Lying in bed also makes my orthopedic problems worse, my hips and lower back usually hurt in the morning. Although this is getting better since my mom gave me an exercise mattress and I started exercising every day. I can only sleep on the side and often can't find a good position. I also hate being naked and for this reason don't like washing myself very much - although of course I do, and after taking a shower and getting dressed I feel much better, I just don't like the process in the middle... (I also have a stiff division of "night zone", "daytime zone" and "outdoor clothes zone" in my apartment. I only sit in outdoor clothes on the bench in the corridor, for example for putting on my shoes, and I only sit in one armchair in my living room, because the other is for guests who enter in outdoor clothes... And, back to sleep problems: I can only sit in my pajama and bathrobe on top in the chair in front of my computer - another reason which ultimately motivates me to go take a shower.)
And, on top of all of this, my sleep disturbances make me feel like I'm expected to justify my aversion to sleeping medication. And it's non-negotiable, I won't take anything stronger than herbal teas for that. I believe that it's ultimately only a good thing: really, sleeping pills are very addictive, harmful, so if anything, I should be praised for never ever taking them... And I just can't accept the idea of dulling my mind. I like it and want it to be as active as it can be. Sorry, another offtopic: another stiff categorisation I practice is the division between "mind-expanding drugs", "neutral drugs" and "mind-limiting drugs". I accept the former two, but not the latter. "Neutral drugs" are mild sedatives such as the herbal teas I mentioned (lavender, hops, lemon balm etc.) and mild stimulants such as tea, coffee or yerba mate (I don't drink coffee, though, because I can't stand its taste and smell.) Mind-expading drugs are, obviously (this phrase is in use after all, not just by myself), psychedelics. I don't even use them currently (although no stereotypes about "young people's thing"... my psychedelic fascination began when I was twelve years old, but I first tried a psychedelic drug eighteen years later), but this is my lifelong "special interest". "Mind-limiting drugs" is the rest... strong stimulants (already energy drinks qualify as "strong stimulants" for me), opiates, sedatives, other depressants such as alcohol... This is another reason why I absolutely refuse to take sleeping medication, making my mind less active goes so deeply against my values... In fact I like - because it's true anyway - creating an impression that I'd rather suffer than break my rules about never using mind-limiting drugs.

 

[monkeyclogs]

lifetime of sleep problems here. i do take the drugs occasionally but usually when it's spiralled down below an hour a night as I that triggers hypomamia. my red flag is if I've had virtually no sleep for days and don't feel at all tired.

a good night's sleep for me is about 6 hours broken in two parts by a couple of hours of not sleeping in the middle. I tend to get up and do things rather than lie restlessly in bed. it only starts to spiral when I get up in the night and don't force myself to go back for sleep part 2 at some point.

can't imagine what you describe about dreams as I have the opposite problem. Detailed epics that i've never understood how my brain has time to deliver within the window ive been asleep.

 

[Masked Man]

I can only speak to the insomnia part of this, as I have bouts of pretty bad insomnia and have for a while now.

I'm a very light sleeper and also am sensitive to heat, humidity, light, and sensory issues. For context, I live in the northern part of the US. In winter, I sleep very well, surrounded by fluffy, soft blankets and clothing. It's dark and the air is dry. But around mid June, the days are long, the humidity is crushing, and my brain can't shut off.

Basically what this all means is that, for about 3-4 months of the year I have chronic insomnia and walk around miserable and disoriented.

I get not wanting to use drugs to sleep but I break that rule all the time in the summer months. I feel a lot better well-rested and my brain is clearer so I use the minimum I can to get by.

 

[Outdated]

I have some quite debilitating sleep problems these days but I didn't always.

I was always a very heavy sleeper, almost nothing disturbs me when I'm asleep and I never remember any dreams. I used to sleep a solid unbroken 8 or 9 hours every night, and I love unbroken sleep that much that I started avoiding alcohol as I got older because I hate waking up in the middle of the night for any reason. That was my regular pattern for more than 50 years.

When I was going through the rigamarole of getting on the pension a doctor prescribed me some SSRIs. I don't suffer anxiety at all but I figured if they're supposed to make you happier maybe I should try them. Worst decision I ever made in my life.

All of a sudden I was only able to sleep for a few hours at a time. I still fall asleep almost straight away, and I still sleep very deeply, but quite often I only sleep for 2 or 3 hours and then I'm wide awake again. I only took those drugs for a few months, now it's 4 years later and I still haven't recovered.

I've improved a little, I now get 3 or 4 nights in a row where I'll sleep right through for 8 hours, then I'll go through another bout of only sleeping for a couple of hours at a time. When that happens I'm constantly tired and have no energy and I'll only be awake for a few hours before having to go back to bed again.

I can never tell what times of day or night I'll be awake and I can never tell if I'm going to get a good sleep or not. Tonight is another of those nights, second night in a row now, where I'm only sleeping for a couple of hours at a time. Tomorrow I have errands to run including helping a neighbour so I'm going to be exhausted, but even then there's no guarantee that I'll get a good sleep afterwards.

 

[TBRS1]

I have three things I can recommend, based on a lifetime of sleep problems - that I no longer have:

1. Grow catnip. Take a big handful of fresh catnip, throw it into about three cups of boiling water. Simmer until you have about two cups left. Let it cool enough to drink, and drink it. (Might wanna add honey or sugar for taste).

2. Using earphones, try listening to: sleep hypnosis, rain sounds, or one of the sound "colors" (I prefer green noise).

3. Develop a regular (but "low key" - don't get obsessive) meditation practice. Meditate shortly before you go to bed.

Best wishes. Insomnia sux.

 

[everywhere and nowhere]

3. Develop a regular (but "low key" - don't get obsessive) meditation practice. Meditate shortly before you go to bed.

Best wishes. Insomnia sux.

I've always been interested in it - not for wellness reasons, but for spiritual experiences - but I also always have the problem of being unable to concentrate. I talk to myself in my mind all the time, constant inner monologue which stops any spiritual rapture as it begins... I don't really know what to do about it, all my attempts so far have been unsuccessful. I just can't concentrate because I can't shut off inner speech.

 

[TBRS1]

I've always been interested in it - not for wellness reasons, but for spiritual experiences - but I also always have the problem of being unable to concentrate. I talk to myself in my mind all the time, constant inner monologue which stops any spiritual rapture as it begins... I don't really know what to do about it, all my attempts so far have been unsuccessful. I just can't concentrate because I can't shut off inner speech.

NOBODY can shut off thoughts. Not even the Dalai Lama.

If you can find a qualified person to help you learn meditation, what you describe can be handled.

One does not learn to silence that mental voice, one learns to ignore it.

Here is an explanation - I breezed through the I description & explanation - it is all pretty standard: How to Meditate: Meditation 101 for Beginners

It describes the process like this :

It can feel pretty uncomfortable—at first.

You’ll want to fidget. You’ll want to shift around in your seat. You’ll notice weird twinges and feel itchy in the strangest of places. You’ll be bored and wonder how much time is left until you can stop. You’ll daydream. You’ll think about all the other things you need to attend to.

And you’ll bring your attention back, again and again and again.

That’s it. That’s meditation.

In the step-by-step directions, no.7 tells what to do with those continuous thoughts:
When your mind wanders, gently guide it back to your breath. No judgment, no big deal. Just bring it back to the breath.

 

[Judge]

Kind of sucks that I learned that long-term use of Melatonin is no longer recommended.

Not using it has brought back my cycle of insomnia, prematurely waking up earlier than I want.