Imaged based mind and flash-forwards.

[JamesM]

Inside my mind is an entire world that operates at all times, like an alternate reality.

Every experience gets replayed in multiple versions and especially bad experiences. These can get stuck in a loop and my mind will create flash-forwards like alternate futures of how something is going to play out good or bad.

When I was about 7 my parents were taking me to see the airport and planes, in the car I had a vision of myself wandering onto a plane and ending up in another country. It was like a premonition from Final Destination. I screamed and cried in the car (meltdown perhaps) that we can't go, something bad is going to happen and we have to turn around. So we did and I never went near an airport or plane for the rest of my life.

If I have a conflict with someone, my mind will replay the whole thing over and over and over again as if I have a virtually reality machine plugged directly into my brain. I have shutdowns or meltdown for hours. The conflict can replay for days, weeks or even years and will cause significant distress.

Does anyone else experience anything like this?

 

[Angular Chap]

I can relate, these do sound like autistic traits.

The first thing you describe sounds like catastrophising.

Autism and catastrophising

We are highly sensitive to anxiety. This hypersensitivity to anxiety coupled with high creativity leads to the brain coming up with all kinds of distressing scenarios, with all manner of plausibly.

In my case, I don’t really heavily catastrophise, but I do get heavy anxiety. I vividly imagine scenarios where I will make mistakes and end up feeling humiliated. To the point I get fairly regular recurring dreams about getting lost. The reason for all this is because it keeps actually happening. I can vividly and accurately predict where I will go wrong, how I will go to the wrong building, go through the wrong door, end up in the wrong place and say the wrong thing to the wrong person. Because I’ve done it multiple times in the past. I had heard of post traumatic flashbacks and I sometimes used to wonder, is it possible to experience pre traumatic flash-forwards…? As it turns out, yes, in a way, that is a real thing.

The second thing about conflict is also common. It is hard for autistic people to let things go. Many of us are hypersensitive to injustice. In my case, I’ve moved on from most past conflicts and bullying, but with any situation that involved excuses and blaming me, I find it hard to get over that part. These things still replay over and over in my head at times many years later, for weeks at a time. I am hypersensitive to excusing, people trying to reason things away, apologists, enablers and victim blaming and I have even more trouble letting go of those specific things than the general conflict itself.

 

[Xinyta]

You are most certainly not alone in this.

The plane thing is definitely catastrophising, like @Angular Chap said. This makes it hard to do things and even funtion in life. Depending on the amount of catastrophising you do.

As far as replaying previous situations in your head constantly. Yeah. I've done this one alot. And it can go for years. Mine has. But to fix this. You need to be willing to look at it in different ways. This'll take some practice, but it'll help. Typically there are a number of factors involved to why something went the way it did. Alot of times not having anything to do with you.

For example. I've spent years holding on to my stepmother's nasty behavior. Yelling, namecalling, and general berating behavior. But I've taken time to look at it in a different ways. Is alot of it due to issues of her own and wanting to control EVERYTHING. Yes. But her behavior towards me was more my fault, than her's. Yes she could of responded better to my obstinance and struggling. But alot of it was frustration because I wouldn't give her the time of day and listen. Then there is my sibling she had to attended to, on top of that. So she was constantly under stress. Especially since my Dad tends to be almost NEVER home.

 

[Rodafina]

When I was about 7 my parents were taking me to see the airport and planes, in the car I had a vision of myself wandering onto a plane and ending up in another country. It was like a premonition from Final Destination. I screamed and cried in the car (meltdown perhaps) that we can't go, something bad is going to happen and we have to turn around. So we did and I never went near an airport or plane for the rest of my life.

Your parents may have inadvertently done a disservice to you by not going to the airport. It wasn't wrong for you to be afraid as a child, but I think it would have been more helpful for you to eventually go to the airport and see that your fear did not come true. Avoiding everything that makes us fearful or anxious can exacerbate feelings of fear and anxiety and make them last indefinitely.

The key to overcoming avoidance behavior is to engage in anxiety-inducing activities in a safe and supported way and gradually build up to being able to do the thing that scares us. It's something that usually requires support, often from a mental health professional.

Why Avoidance Coping Creates Additional Stress

 

[Judge]

These days I attempt to get angry at myself whenever something happens, that promotes me to think of a complex and unlikely "worst case scenario".

When I need to put on my "Mr. Spock" cap and contemplate the remote odds of such negative thinking happening in a tangible way.

 

[Dagan]

I call this trait, "chess matching." That's always been my easiest explanation because it's mainstream enough for most to understand - planning ahead up to 12 options / moves to make and the variable outcomes to each move.