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I'm In A Movie...

Storm Hess

Storm Hess

Permanent Spaceman
Anyone feel like their life is a movie? I feel disconnected and more that I'm watching my life play out than living it. Is this a part of having ASD or something entirely different that may not apply to it at all?
 
I've posted a number of times how much I have felt like everything I witness was from the perspective of "being on the outside looking in". As if I did not or should not exist in what appears to be "the real world".

A feeling I've never been able to shake off despite being able to rationalize being on the spectrum. The result of a lifetime of never feeling like I truly "fit in".
 
If I was in a movie, I'd be shoving handfuls of my medication in my mouth with no water and be completely cured only 30 seconds later. No side effects or overdosing whatsoever.

I'd never say "goodbye" to someone after talking with them on the phone, I'd just stop talking and hang up.

I'd be a lot thinner and prettier than I am now, but everyone would think I was fat and homely.

If I started coughing, I'd be dead by the end of the movie.

A hero or group of heroes would show up and save the world from the many horrors we're experiencing right now. Or the American part of the world, anyway.

I'd know if someone was a bad person because they'd wear black and I'd hear evil or scary music whenever they were around.

I'd know if someone was really smart because they'd be wearing glasses.

So no, I don't think my life is a movie. If it was, I'd be wishing I could rate it less than one star.
 
That perspective is a very powerful therapy technique. It is usually taught with meditation exercises. The idea is to gain a third party perspective about yourself. It allows you to disconnect from negative emotions and assess yourself more fairly. It can also help allow one to see alternative pathways within ones own life.

Anyway, I am no a.s.d. expert. Maybe having autisim simply allows you to gain that perspective easily because you already think differently than most n.t. folk?
 
@Storm Hess I often see it that way.

I have to be careful though as I can sometimes get lost within it, and forget that is how I see it and start to behave as if it is realer than it actually is.
 
Yes, I've thought for most of my life that I'm the main character living a real life Truman Show.
 
I have two stories which I thought were movies that I was in….
First, I changed careers just before I was diagnosed with ASD, from technical computer guy to high school teacher. Well, what a shock that was! I didn't know how much my ASD would make it so hard to face difficult students, and other teachers. I honestly thought that I was in the movie "Life on Mars" - was I in a coma or stasis dreaming? I lasted 2 years.
Second, after surviving 2 years in the above movie I changed schools and the students were much harder to manage…. Long story cut short, I got PTSD and depression, took an overdose, was sectioned by my ex-wife to a high security mental health facility. I felt like the only "normal" person in this place, one guy would walk around the compound circle all day without stopping, other people were vary scary. So I felt like Jack Nicholson in "One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest".
The End.
 
 
Feeling the same way at the moment.
It’s almost like I’m in a dream like state, like I’m watching things happen through eyes that are not mine. A bit weird. I know it’s my own body, it’s my eyes I’m looking through, but it doesn’t feel like me. Disconnected, almost like I’m an imposter in my own head. I move my arms, legs, but who is controlling it all?
 
Binary_Bark said:
Feeling the same way at the moment.
It’s almost like I’m in a dream like state, like I’m watching things happen through eyes that are not mine. A bit weird. I know it’s my own body, it’s my eyes I’m looking through, but it doesn’t feel like me. Disconnected, almost like I’m an imposter in my own head. I move my arms, legs, but who is controlling it all?
Click to expand...
This is how I've felt as far as I can remember. My therapist keeps giving suggestions on coping...but nothing seems to turn it off. Maybe that's just my wiring...I have no idea.
 
Storm Hess said:
This is how I've felt as far as I can remember. My therapist keeps giving suggestions on coping...but nothing seems to turn it off. Maybe that's just my wiring...I have no idea.
Click to expand...
I was told, it's disassociation, a kind of defence mechanism. It's one of the possible signs of things not being all okay.

Don't know how to deal or handle it yet.
 
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