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I'm an aspie; Please help me help my aspie friend!

Juliettaa said:
Perhaps I'm missing the point but I feel sorry for your 'friend'.

Like a lot of autistic people, I am rigid in my behaviours and I would be really hurt if one of my friends were to post what you have :(
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GadAbout said:
I'm afraid I see a divergence of lifestyles between you and this friend. You can't change him, and apparently it is increasingly difficult to tolerate him.

I'd let the situation run its course. You don't owe him friendship, if it's too difficult to maintain.

At the same time, I see you feel badly about the problem and feel for your friend. Try to remember that some of his behaviors, like the left-right turning while driving, may actually compromise your own safety and well being.

Does he have support systems, such as parents, you could talk to privately? If so, I would simply let them know they should begin looking for alternate activities to substitute for the dwindling contact with the existing group.

This situation will weigh less heavily on you if you discuss it with the others in your friendship circle. You might find that they are not as bothered as you are; but you might find they are ready to let go and possibly, talk to the person's support system with you.
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ghostie said:
I was kind of thinking this too. When my friends start talking about things that don't interest me I fade out and think about other stuff, I can't help it, I'm just not interested in what I'm not interested in. But then again I also don't really have many friends and never see the ones I do have, and in the few times I do go out I make sure that there's more than just me and one person cause I know I can't hold up my end of the conversation so I just like to get two friends and listen to them talk and I can pop in if/when I have something relevant to say.

Also, if anyone was upset about how much I love my cat I don't think I'd want to hang out with them again.

Which brings up another question, if you and your friend disagree so much about seemingly everything, is there even a reason to keep being friends?
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He really is a nice guy, and he doesn't care if I share stuff about him as long I don't share his name. I will always accept him no matter what, but I can't bring him many places because other people aren't as accepting as me and my other friends. All I ever do with him anymore is go to see movies, and invite him to various parties and functions.
 
ghostie said:
Also, if anyone was upset about how much I love my cat I don't think I'd want to hang out with them again.

Which brings up another question, if you and your friend disagree so much about seemingly everything, is there even a reason to keep being friends?
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It doesn't upset me that he loves his cat; I have an almost childlike affection for dogs. It annoys me that he took it personally when I stopped coming over to his house, after he knew full well I had an allergy to cats.

On other note, he continually says "My cat is gonna be a lion when she grows up!" That really gets on my nerves.
 
Juliettaa said:
Perhaps I'm missing the point but I feel sorry for your 'friend'.

Like a lot of autistic people, I am rigid in my behaviours and I would be really hurt if one of my friends were to post what you have :(
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I am very rigid in my behaviors as well, being autistic, but I don't act anything like him.

Also, I am not sharing my friend's name and there is a lot of stuff I am not sharing about my friend because it is nobody's business.
 
paloftoon said:
This friend you're having trouble with, does he have a job?
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Yes and no...

Right now he’s in school, and he volunteers at the local public school special ed department. He works at the culinary problem at the same county community college where takes classes, but only during the summer; Mom and dad still largely support him 100%.
 
TheGuyWithTheTacoma said:
Yes and no...

Right now he’s in school, and he volunteers at the local public school special ed department. He works at the culinary problem at the same county community college where takes classes, but only during the summer; Mom and dad still largely support him 100%.
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What might help your friend is to continue progressing toward getting enough credentials to get a (paid) job. Also, it looks like you guys are near-ish the Philly area. There are some social groups and even a center. If he can afford therapy (through his parents) and is willing, this may be a good route to consider as well.

You're welcome to PM me to meet in-person if you would like.
 
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