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I'm afraid of my diagnosis and it's driving me crazy.

V

vitorlamounier

New Member
I'll start writing from the beginning. Well, my school said I have Intellectual giftedness, and I was very happy to hear that. So I started researching the subject. I discovered neurodivergences, and while learning about them, I became very interested in autism and ADHD. I found out that I fit the DSM-5-TR criteria, so I went to a neurologist. I told him about my experiences, and he said we would investigate further. Although I was still interested in neurodivergences, I discovered personality disorders. As I learned more about them, I began to strongly suspect that I might have BPD, and now I'm afraid of having BPD than autism.
 
Well, you can have both BPD and autism. From what I've read on reddit, people with ASD can get misdiagnosed with BPD due to some emotional overlap symptoms. If you feel comfortable with it, what symptoms of each have you noticed?
 
TouhouFan28 said:
Well, you can have both BPD and autism. From what I've read on reddit, people with ASD can get misdiagnosed with BPD due to some emotional overlap symptoms. If you feel comfortable with it, what symptoms of each have you noticed?
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In my relationships, my brain tells me that the person I'm dating has simply stopped liking me and can't stand talking to me anymore. So I start observing all their behaviors, and depending on one behavior, like forgetting to say good morning or good night, I hate the person. But after we talk, I start liking them again and I test the person in various ways to find out if they still like me. I also have a great fear of abandonment.
 
Do not worry. You will always be you.

Instead of thinking "What if?", think "So what?" as the diagnosis is a tool used to help make life easier through the tougher bits.

So do not worry as you can't add a single hour to the day by worrying. I hope this helps?

Whatever it will be, it will be!

Also, just to add some information. Autism highs and lows can be very up and down and spiky. In other words, an autistic person who has highs and lows can go through several a day!

Bipolar highs and lows are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain which takes a while to turn from a high to a low and back (Typically a 4 day cycle between a high and a low or a low and a high I have heard). The lows and highs are very extreme. Is important for a correct diagnosis as those diagnosed wrongly with bipolar when it is autism can have double trouble to deal with as bipolar medication can actually cause bipolar symptoms in someone without bipolar, as bipolar medication is trial and error to try and restore the brains chemistry by adding the chemicals via medication. The GREAT news with bipolar is that with the correct dosage, the patient can go on to live a normal life. They will need checking now and then that the medication adjustment is right, but it is treatable.

Autism is NOT in itself treatable, but certain associated conditions caused by the autism which some autistic people can get can be treatable.


I hope this helps? And finally, Do not worry!
 
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vitorlamounier said:
In my relationships, my brain tells me that the person I'm dating has simply stopped liking me and can't stand talking to me anymore. So I start observing all their behaviors, and depending on one behavior, like forgetting to say good morning or good night, I hate the person. But after we talk, I start liking them again and I test the person in various ways to find out if they still like me. I also have a great fear of abandonment.
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Yep, sounds pretty much like it. I'm no psychiatrist so definitely check up with them on that. I have both BPD and autism so those are all things I did in my past relationships. Especially the observation, and overanalyzing their behaviors.

I would often times test their love by leaving them on delivered for hours to see how many times they'd text me within that timeframe. I would often times fake suicide to gauge how much they'd cry over me. I would often bring up old mistakes they did that hurt me to see how guilty they still felt about it. I would often force commitments everyday such as, "We're getting married right?", "So you hate me", "So you don't love me anymore.", "We'll be together forever right?", "You'll be loyal to me right?" When they eventually decided that enough was enough and dumped me I was going insane. I stalked their socials daily, analyzed every repost, every like, everything that confirmed that "they missed me" and that I should text them. (This went on for months.) I was toxic, manipulative, immature and mentally/emotionally draining to deal with.

It took me getting sent to the mental hospital for suicide watch and self-harm prevention in order for me to let them go and move on. (Fortunately, I'm a lot more stable now through external help)

(Though I will add, they weren't much of an angel either LMFAO)
 
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