I'm a "free spirit", but I'm forced to focus on stability/survival

[pelecanus87]

To me, this is one of those most crushing aspects of being a person with Asperger's.

Growing up, there were so many songs and books and movies which describe an uncompromising quest for freedom which inspired me. Now, I can longer truly relate to them or model my life after them. I hate it. I grew up with plenty of hope and I never thought I would end up with issues like this. The idea of taking a risk seems increasingly foreign to me.

Even my personality is highly influenced by the fear of not fitting in. I'm not free, not even close.

 

[nowwhat]

This conflict has nohing to do with Aspergers. Accepting the nature of the world and the necessities of surviving in it is part of growing up.

Adult life is about earning the calories you consume and justifying the space you take up. Period.

 

[pelecanus87]

This conflict has nohing to do with Aspergers. Accepting the nature of the world and the necessities of surviving in it is part of growing up.

Adult life is about earning the calories you consume and justifying the space you take up. Period.

Can't agree with this. All people must adapt and survive, but if the extent to which some have to focus on survival is much greater than others, it's going to have an impact.

 

[nowwhat]

Can't agree with this. All people must adapt and survive, but if the extent to which some have to focus on survival is much greater than others, it's going to have an impact.

And what exactly were you guaranteed or promised at the start of your life? The same I was. Nothing. Being able to survive is a gift. Doing whatever you must in order to is a responsibility. Feel free to test this by abandoning that responsibility. Let me know how that goes. We all bear this burden, though not one of us asked for or agreed to it. All else is childish. Unless you are supported by someone else or the state. In which case, thank those whose toils enable you to dream and feel free.

 

[On the Inside]

I think I understand the sentiment of your complaint. I also had a great let down when I realized that the dreams and goals I had over the course of my life where mostly a bunch of idle fantasies, and the ideas of "following your bliss" "aiming high" " dreaming big" where simply not applicable to me.

It has taken me years and many attempts at trying new things and sticking with the same old stuff to realize that I have limitations that restrict my "free spirit".

I have just recently begun to see what my true capabilities are, where I really am at, and what I can reasonably expect from myself and my life.

Hard lessons.

 

[Full Steam]

Your possibilities are endless.
There are no limits apart from those you accept for yourself.

Choose a goal, any goal and go and get it.

Many people far worse off than you have done so. You just decide what you want and you keep going until you get it.

It's that simple.

 

[DuckRabbit]

And what exactly were you guaranteed or promised at the start of your life? The same I was. Nothing. Being able to survive is a gift. Doing whatever you must in order to is a responsibility. Feel free to test this by abandoning that responsibility. Let me know how that goes. We all bear this burden, though not one of us asked for or agreed to it. All else is childish. Unless you are supported by someone else or the state. In which case, thank those whose toils enable you to dream and feel free.

I agree that 'growing up' and facing life as it is rather than as we would like it to be is a task (extensive life lesson) faced by all, not only Aspergers. But I don't think it's entirely true that those who are supported by someone else or by the state should cower under an interminable cloud of guilt and gratitude.

First, those who are "toiling" may be doing so because they have access to jobs and positions in society because of their (neurotypical) hardwiring which those jobs and positions require or favour.

Second, many people may be "toiling" but their efforts are considered 'low status' in society and so they are not financially rewarded for them. Research shows that many of the most valuable jobs to society (hospital cleaners, refuse collectors, water treatment workers, nurses) are the lowest paid, despite the fact that society would collapse without them. In contrast, many high status jobs (bankers, advertising execs etc) contribute the least to society yet they are well remunerated. One should not assume that the way in which resources are currently distributed in society is fair and equitable.

Finally, I agree that there can be a disconnect between those focusing on "dreaming and feeling free" vs. those with their sleeves rolled up, labouring in the blood and sweat of 'the real world'. However, in many case those supported by someone else or by the state are freed up just to survive.

To say that "Adult life is about earning the calories you consume and justifying the space you take up. Period." is too harshly black-and-white and does not cover all cases.

 

[Full Steam]

Interesting post.

It's value to society vs value to people with money.

 

[On the Inside]

Well, I will say that the skills and knowledge I have gained by my free spirit activities allowed me to be employed in an interesting if not well compensated career.

So, at least I have earned the calories and space I consume, with a little left over to dream small.

 

[Professori]

First, what is freedom, or a 'free' spirit? To do what I want, when I want, how I want if I want us not freedom, but anarchy. There has to be some absolutes to freedom for it really to be freedom.

One of those boundaries is survival which means you have to work to earn in order to enjoy that freedom. If you rely on others for that living then you really are not free at all, but bound by them. That is the core of socialism.

I have to agree that nobody is born with the right to a living, or to expect that 'the state' should support you. You do not even have a claim to the rights that society so often shouts about. Rights always come at someone else's expense, and if you were alone on this planet, who could you claim your rights from, least of all the right to freedom.

Often there seems to be animosity towards those who are wealthy - as though they have cheated the rest of society In order to become rich and should therefore support many others through higher taxes. Fact is that most who are wealthy have earned that wealth because they are smarter than others.

Freedom is not a right - being a free spirit, like everything else in life, also has to be earned.

 

[biblophile]

To me, this is one of those most crushing aspects of being a person with Asperger's.

Growing up, there were so many songs and books and movies which describe an uncompromising quest for freedom which inspired me. Now, I can longer truly relate to them or model my life after them. I hate it. I grew up with plenty of hope and I never thought I would end up with issues like this. The idea of taking a risk seems increasingly foreign to me.

Even my personality is highly influenced by the fear of not fitting in. I'm not free, not even close.

"Man was born free yet every where in chains" , that statement suits me, and most everybody else, whither on the spectrum or not. The difference is those of us who are on the spectrum realize and resent our lack of freedom to be ourselves, most NT, s do not they float through life like helium balloon where ever the wind blows them, unaware of their chains. I Know life is full of compromise, but I feel like I am compromising myself right out of existence.