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"If you were on the spectrum, you'd know it" ???

Ames

Ames

Active Member
The first time I met with my new psychiatrist, she responded positively to my questions about ASD diagnosis and support. She said she would look into finding resources for me. When I asked about ASD evaluation and support during our second appointment, she dismissed me. She said there was no way I could be on the spectrum because if I were, I would have been diagnosed as a child, there was no way I could have "gotten this far" if I were actually on the spectrum. I said that what I had been reading indicated otherwise, and she cited her degrees and profession and said, "I can't account for what you find on Google."
As always, I didn't know what to say. I don't know what she meant by "gotten this far" - my age? Or the fact that I managed to get a few degrees in school? She seems to think people with ASD are easily spotted and always diagnosed during childhood, and perhaps unable to have any success in life, like earn a degree? How can the stereotypical Aspie be working in Silicon Valley, a programmer, or a physics professor, yet I managed to get a bachelor's degree, so there's no way I'm on the spectrum? I can make eye contact and usually hold a conversation, but I have struggled my whole life and never held a real job, so I guess I'm just "lazy"?
Feeling very lost and alone. Reading about females with ASD and realizing they were me changed my life, and yet I can find no support. I have no way to navigate through this. I feel like I can't "come out" to my family or friends without an actual diagnosis. When all the "support" I get is like this psychiatrist, I feel stupid for even trying to get help.

Thanks for letting me vent.
 
Ames said:
She said there was no way I could be on the spectrum because if I were, I would have been diagnosed as a child, there was no way I could have "gotten this far" if I were actually on the spectrum. I said that what I had been reading indicated otherwise, and she cited her degrees and profession and said, "I can't account for what you find on Google."
Click to expand...

She's an idiot. Just wait here till lots of people turn up and agree.
 
This is one of the dynamics I detest involving any Neurotypical involved in the diagnostic process of someone likely to be on the spectrum of autism. To so easily dismiss the likelihood only on a basis of not being able "to get this far" in life? WTF? :mad:

Excuse me, but personally I find it customary among our species to have a will to survive no matter what the circumstances or the cost. Many do what they must to make it. It's not rocket science.

Has it been an easy thing to do? Hellno. It's always been a struggle on some level. Yet I survived. Excuse me for doing so. :rolleyes:

I never "adapted" as such. However I was able to mask my traits and behaviors so as not to stand out and face routine discrimination. You learn as such when it happens over and over. No different than people who learn to keep their mouth and say as little as possible. It's just a matter of what specific traits and behaviors one is dealing with, and how much if any an ability they have to control them. After all, not all of us are incapable of doing as such. Nor does this ability preclude us from being on the spectrum itself. DUH!

I guess some NTs in the medical community simply cannot grasp that this is not a conditional process for many of us. That in fact we have varying control over our traits and behaviors. Or what I refer to as "amplitude".

In reality there's no telling how many of us are out there who continue to slip under the radar of those who refuse to acknowledge that we in fact, exist. The fact that we somehow managed to survive and not thrive doesn't preclude us from being on the spectrum whether those traits and behaviors may have been "hard-wired" or not. Especially for those of us who grew up before Aspergers Syndrome was even acknowledged, professionally speaking.

When doctors examined me as a kid and a young adult they weren't even looking for autism. Did that mean I couldn't possibly have it? Give me a break. :rolleyes:
 
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Come to think of it, maybe get with a psychologist who specializes in ASD to get a diagnosis if that's what you are seeking.
 
She's wrong. She doesn't know what she is talking about. Get another psychiatrist, one with experience of ASD.
 
Some of them have so outdated, narrow-minded opinions, I think they base them of their textbooks they used at uni/college 30 years ago. The one I spoke to here was amazed that I had been diagnosed as an adult because, apparently, only children get diagnosed.

The psychiatrist who diagnosed me claimed to be on the spectrum himself.
 
When I was getting my diagnosis, my psychiatrist told my dad he had "definite autistic traits" and was "on the borderline" but he couldn't be autistic because he had a degree and children and gotten to the age of 60 without coming up on any radars. It's stupid! (He is definitely autistic. :D )
 
Find a psych who isn't a clown. "If you were on the spectrum, you'd know it?" I mean, really? That's stupid at best, ableist at worst.

I've met maybe two or three Aspies in my entire life that were diagnosed as children. The rest of us got diagnoses, sure: misbehaved, difficult, defiant, bad-tempered, unstable, the list goes on.

The adults of today missed the bus with getting diagnosed as children, because for most of us it either wasn't recognized yet or not widely recognized. If you were diagnosed with autism, it was because you had profound, low-functioning autism. Remember, psychiatric care received is a direct function of how much of a nuisance you are to those with power.

This makes me a little angry, that a psych is out there practicing, flaunting her degrees but then making that sort of statement. "I can't account for what you find on the internet" - yes, the internet, that thing that holds all of humanity's collective knowledge. Where are you supposed to do your research, a public library? Go check out a 30-year-old book on the subject? Oh wait.

I say screw that psych, and you should too. You're going to have a hell of a time getting diagnosed as an adult female, but knowledge among the psych community of autism in adults (especially females) is so incredibly lacking that you've got little choice but to hop around until you find someone who actually knows what they're talking about.

You know why I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult? Because the dozens of psychs I had seen prior to that knew nothing about autism. Once I found one that did, she saw it plain as day in me, and boom: referral ---> diagnosis.

Don't let this fool make you question yourself.
 
LucyPurrs said:
Come to think of it, maybe get with a psychologist who specializes in ASD to get a diagnosis if that's what you are seeking.
Click to expand...

That's what I tried to do, but there is no one in this area who works with ASD in adults. I was so disappointed to find the few counselors I found who say they "work with" or "specialize" in ASD actually just once had a client on the spectrum and aren't unwilling to see you if you are on the spectrum. ?! Gah! How is that specializing?!
 
Gritches said:
Find a psych who isn't a clown. "If you were on the spectrum, you'd know it?" I mean, really? That's stupid at best, ableist at worst.

I've met maybe two or three Aspies in my entire life that were diagnosed as children. The rest of us got diagnoses, sure: misbehaved, difficult, defiant, bad-tempered, unstable, the list goes on.

The adults of today missed the bus with getting diagnosed as children, because for most of us it either wasn't recognized yet or not widely recognized. If you were diagnosed with autism, it was because you had profound, low-functioning autism. Remember, psychiatric care received is a direct function of how much of a nuisance you are to those with power.

This makes me a little angry, that a psych is out there practicing, flaunting her degrees but then making that sort of statement. "I can't account for what you find on the internet" - yes, the internet, that thing that holds all of humanity's collective knowledge. Where are you supposed to do your research, a public library? Go check out a 30-year-old book on the subject? Oh wait.

I say screw that psych, and you should too. You're going to have a hell of a time getting diagnosed as an adult female, but knowledge among the psych community of autism in adults (especially females) is so incredibly lacking that you've got little choice but to hop around until you find someone who actually knows what they're talking about.

You know why I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult? Because the dozens of psychs I had seen prior to that knew nothing about autism. Once I found one that did, she saw it plain as day in me, and boom: referral ---> diagnosis.

Don't let this fool make you question yourself.
Click to expand...

Thank you! You have no idea how helpful you all have been!
 
Ames said:
The first time I met with my new psychiatrist, she responded positively to my questions about ASD diagnosis and support. She said she would look into finding resources for me. When I asked about ASD evaluation and support during our second appointment, she dismissed me. She said there was no way I could be on the spectrum because if I were, I would have been diagnosed as a child, there was no way I could have "gotten this far" if I were actually on the spectrum. I said that what I had been reading indicated otherwise, and she cited her degrees and profession and said, "I can't account for what you find on Google."
As always, I didn't know what to say. I don't know what she meant by "gotten this far" - my age? Or the fact that I managed to get a few degrees in school? She seems to think people with ASD are easily spotted and always diagnosed during childhood, and perhaps unable to have any success in life, like earn a degree? How can the stereotypical Aspie be working in Silicon Valley, a programmer, or a physics professor, yet I managed to get a bachelor's degree, so there's no way I'm on the spectrum? I can make eye contact and usually hold a conversation, but I have struggled my whole life and never held a real job, so I guess I'm just "lazy"?
Feeling very lost and alone. Reading about females with ASD and realizing they were me changed my life, and yet I can find no support. I have no way to navigate through this. I feel like I can't "come out" to my family or friends without an actual diagnosis. When all the "support" I get is like this psychiatrist, I feel stupid for even trying to get help.

Thanks for letting me vent.
Click to expand...


I noticed on your profile you are 41 so you were born around 1977. There was no Aspergers diagnosis until 1994 when you were around 17. How therefore would it have been posible to diagnose you with AS as a child, if the diagnosis didn't exist until you were almost classed as an adult? As you probably already know females on the spectrum are considered harder to spot, so there is every chance you may have got this far without it being picked up. In my opinion, find another psychiatrist who has experience working with people on the spectrum.
As you will see on this forum lots of people were quite far down the road before it was picked up, I was officially diagnosed at 48, my daughter was diagnosed at 14 so they are getting better at spotting it these days.
 
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Starfire said:
How therefore would it have been posible to diagnose you with AS as a child, if the diagnosis didn't exist until you were almost classed as an adult?
Click to expand...

Good point!! As someone above said, in those days we were "diagnosed" with being different, annoying, difficult, overly-sensitive, etc.
 
Ames said:
The first time I met with my new psychiatrist, she responded positively to my questions about ASD diagnosis and support. She said she would look into finding resources for me. When I asked about ASD evaluation and support during our second appointment, she dismissed me. She said there was no way I could be on the spectrum because if I were, I would have been diagnosed as a child, there was no way I could have "gotten this far" if I were actually on the spectrum. I said that what I had been reading indicated otherwise, and she cited her degrees and profession and said, "I can't account for what you find on Google."
As always, I didn't know what to say. I don't know what she meant by "gotten this far" - my age? Or the fact that I managed to get a few degrees in school? She seems to think people with ASD are easily spotted and always diagnosed during childhood, and perhaps unable to have any success in life, like earn a degree? How can the stereotypical Aspie be working in Silicon Valley, a programmer, or a physics professor, yet I managed to get a bachelor's degree, so there's no way I'm on the spectrum? I can make eye contact and usually hold a conversation, but I have struggled my whole life and never held a real job, so I guess I'm just "lazy"?
Feeling very lost and alone. Reading about females with ASD and realizing they were me changed my life, and yet I can find no support. I have no way to navigate through this. I feel like I can't "come out" to my family or friends without an actual diagnosis. When all the "support" I get is like this psychiatrist, I feel stupid for even trying to get help.

Thanks for letting me vent.
Click to expand...

You need a new psychiatrist, one who knows a lot about ASD. Even then, you may have trouble getting a diagnosis because you are high functioning. It is harder to get a diagnosis with the DSM-5 than it was with the DSM-4. This is for political and economical reasons, not what is best for the patient. It looks to me that your doc did some reading on this between your appointments and decided that it would not be in her best interest to diagnose you.

As far as childhood diagnosis goes, I was 60 before I even considered being on the spectrum and 62 before I was diagnosed.

Even if you can not get a diagnosis, you probably should get some consoling. The goal would be to learn to better deal with you weakness's and to better take advantage of your considerable strengths.
 
It was never even put on the table that I could be Aspie until my Brother's girlfriend, who is now my sister in law, commented that I was like clients she worked with in a home for Autistic adults in Gloucester, England over 20 years ago.
 
Since you imply you are stuck with the professionals who belong to your insurance, I wonder if you completed the RAADS-R test online and brought them the printed out copy (including your answers and the scoring) if that might get them to rethink things. Don't know. The downside is you're stuck with professionals who don't have the expertise you need. Sounds like you are seeking a diagnosis so you can hopefully get more support from family and friends. Would they be willing to read some of the stuff from this forum? Or even join? Anyway, you can get lots of support here.
 
I saw a psychiatrist today for the first time, but decided to not go for an official aspergers diagnosis, because pretty much what you described.

My husband, who was with me, described my obsessions and how I am with them, but the therapist ignored that and concentrated on a word hubby said and then said: ptsd. And based what he had been told around that. Even discounting social phobia, saying that the ptsd started it, but that is rubbish, since I said it started around 7. But decided to keep quite, as I know I have also got ptsd.

See him next month again.

Perhaps if you went in armed with professional data on late diagnosis, she would be willing to listen?
 
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