I wish i was mute

[Lumen Exemptis Silentum]

I am 5,334 days and I am wanting to be mute. I just don't feel my voice is needed which especially weird bc I used to be the load one of my friends. I used to be the one u were 2 scared 2 bully bc I was just that good. (actually happened not just saying. Some girl -using loosely- tried to bully me and I just didn't take it well so she stopped. I cussed her out and was like ***** nah. I have a quirky sense of humor and am awesome. I just want to be mute. This is especially weird bc I am in chorus. I am supposed 2 be a singer.

 

[tree]

Who supposes that you are a singer?
Are supposed to be one because somebody else thinks
you should be?
Or do you mean that you think of yourself as a singer
while at the same time believing nobody needs to hear
your voice?

Is it your voice you think isn't needed?
Or is it that you don't feel what you have to say
is appreciated? Or can be understood?

 

[OkRad]

Yes. I go mute on occasion. I had Selective Mutism before the NT's tampered with me. I am working on transitioning back to that. I am learning ASL and no longer talk on those rare times I am forced to go out

 

[Myway]

I go mute when around strangers in real life. Welcome to AC.

 

[Katherine Rawstron]

Do you dislike your voice? I remember the shock I had when I heard myself on a tape recorder, I sounded nothing like the voice I heard myself speak with. I'm not too fond of it now, but I've learnt to accept it.
Maybe you prefer the sound of yourself singing? I don't, I like singing, but don't have a singer's voice; but maybe you do.
You could try elocution lessons to modify your voice, even if you have to wait until you're old enough to work and pay for the lessons.
If you feel you're being ignored or laughed at, maybe counselling will help you find out why this is and what to do about it (you could be trying too hard to fit in and making a lot of mistakes, for example).
In the meantime, you could find in outlet in art and/or writing. Maybe a diary, where you can write your thoughts, opinions etc, without having to worry about what others think - remember to hide it away where nobody will stumble on it, or keep in with you at all times, of course. If you don't want a printed diary with set space for each day, just use an ordinary notebook or ring binder, where you can use as much or as little space as you need to each time.