I will put my truth here....

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I am loving and accepting of others in my life and have always been.
But I will never get taken advantage of others or deceived by anyone
And I will never let a higher power or Fid make me feel like a nothing who does not deserve good things
Why would I bother following a God who makes me feel like a nothing and let's me feel like others are taking advantage of me who He loves better.
Why would I let a God invalidate all my truths and tell me in a backwards way that women cannot be smart or talented as men or stand up for themselves and have to be a certain way because thst is misogynist to me.
Who thinks He can just push me around and that I will tolerate it
Or things in my life to do illness was a choice, the blood tests are not saying that
Or lie to my face.
I am sorry but I am mad.
I will never let anyone lie to me or try to invalidate me or force me to be something I am not.
I am not a prejudice person either and hace never been.
and that has nothing to do with it.
I do not know at all how you can constantly apply force on a person to get them to think a certain way or feel like feelings thst some people are just waiting with baited breath to see you fall flat on your face because you made a mistake or because they are a jealous or insecure person.
I am sick of bring abused by a faith system that tells me to think a certain way, be a certain way, judges my mistakes, invalidates my truths, says my feelings or trauma feeling are wrong and sins.

Says I do not deserve to be loved richly the way I deserve
I mean why was I ever born if I am not supposed to be loved properly
God cannot blame me for things I cannot control
Every human needs love, it is our right to be loved in the way we need.
There is no sin in that
So you can give someone all kinds of confusing and conflicting thoughts makes no sense to me how it is rational to say a person is one way and then another as well.
And then what make them feel delusional for the information you gave them when they already fear mental health people who has abused them.
I have a disability and I will never understand why I have to be put in compromising situations all the time.
And I cannot stand a narcissistic woman who is hell bent on hurting others on purpose because she has a manipulative side.
I am sorry just a trauma dump there is a lot on my mind.
I am sorry and hope people do not mind since this is a place for sharing and others share their problems and feelings.
If you just pray or send good wishes I would appreciate it because I have already been through so much in my life and do kot understand how I can be so taken advantage of or do not derve good things.

 

[jellyfish]

Remove toxic people and things from your life. Faith isn't supposed to hurt. That's a lie that weak religious people like to peddle.

 

[Kayla55]

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

If you just pray or send good wishes I would appreciate it because I have already been through so much in my life and do kot understand how I can be so taken advantage of or do not derve good things.

You know that I wish the best for so many here, and you are one (hugs). In my life I have seen things that seem to predict being taken advantage of; the desire for external validation, or an emotional neediness.

When I was lonely I would observe the guys who took advantage of girls/women and saw that they were able to identify those who exhibited some need or who were insecure and looking for validation. Frequently they would love bomb those girls breaking down their logical thinking to have them embrace emotional reactivity, putting them in a state of vulnerability. Very manipulative. I really do not know how they were able to identify their targets? I thought that those guys are sociopaths

 

[Kayla55]

You know that I wish the best for so many here, and you are one (hugs). In my life I have seen things that seem to predict being taken advantage of; the desire for external validation, or an emotional neediness.

When I was lonely I would observe the guys who took advantage of girls/women and saw that they were able to identify those who exhibited some need or who were insecure and looking for validation. Frequently they would love bomb those girls breaking down their logical thinking to have them embrace emotional reactivity, putting them in a state of vulnerability. Very manipulative. I really do not know how they were able to identify their targets? I thought that those guys are sociopaths

Love, peace, hope and tolerance
I may not agree with your lifestyle but unless it doesn't only affect you then it's your choice until you did ask what I think.
I sometimes leave a stone the way I found it....1 possible meaning- um, I didn't quite agree with others perspective but I did not fuel and slander with enemies, I left person to learn own lessons because like a mother knows at times they need to live own life and make some own mistakes.

So now I complain about my Mom less, I've accepted that God or karma has told me to be less selfish towards my children and not to blame my senses or appetite but to rather guide myself to feed little ones who cannot feed themselves.

Biblical: blessed is ye, who acknowledge and attempts to follow path of goodness for those who wallow in downward spiral can not truly uplift themselves.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

*Hugs*

I am holding you in the Light. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Have you ever met people you thought were good?
And you just do not like them
Because they are not good people and do not understand compassion?
And ypu do not deserve to be punished because they are just not good and more narcissistic then you will ever be and you do not deserve to be punished for being an empath which why would you when an empath is essentially a loving and caring and giving person and altruistic in nature who loves and cares for others just because they care and want to help.
Amd anyone who is an empath does not generally care about others because of their ego but because they generally care aboutt the person
So it will be fruitless saying they give because of ego or are the same as a narcissist

 

[Tired]

Sure, although having social anxiety helps me imagining people first in the worst light.
But this online I do find people who seem to be opened, pleasant human beings, until I start trying to get closer and find out that a) they don't actually like me; b) I don't actually like them.

I think we all need to know how to balance our empathy and narcissism, to know when to allow ourselves to reach out or let someone in, and when to push someone away to defend your boundaries.
How good are you at balancing those two aspects of yourself?

 

[Mikah]

Have you ever met people you thought were good?
And you just do not like them
Because they are not good people and do not understand compassion?
And ypu do not deserve to be punished because they are just not good and more narcissistic then you will ever be and you do not deserve to be punished for being an empath which why would you when an empath is essentially a loving and caring and giving person and altruistic in nature who loves and cares for others just because they care and want to help.
Amd anyone who is an empath does not generally care about others because of their ego but because they generally care aboutt the person
So it will be fruitless saying they give because of ego or are the same as a narcissist

You seem to be punishing yourself more than anyone else with your sky-high expectations of people and life in general. Embrace pessimism and be happy.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I do not know qhat to do about my life anymore?
Everyone is against me and i cannot get the help I need
I cannot live like this like not only everyone else but God hates me completely.
And like I am tormented and abused everyday particularly on my physically appearance and about women and misogyny and live in fear which is trauma for me.
I am sick of talking to others and having my truth invalidated and am sick of it all
I am sick of everyone and whenever I am alone I feel better because I can be myself and no one will hurt me or I will have to hide my beauty and self away.

 

[tree]

You sound very unhappy.

Have you eaten today?

Do you have a therapist that you talk to on a regular basis?

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

You seem to be punishing yourself more than anyone else with your sky-high expectations of people and life in general. Embrace pessimism and be happy.

I have seen pessimism my whole life and I do not enjoy it but I still feel it.
If I embraced pessimism well maybe you are right my life would be better because I would have died in my spirit a lot earlier.
Pessimistic people are better than optimistic because they always expect the worst and do not get let down when it comes true but how much worse can my life get?
But I guess they expect to be let down and then are a bit better when it comes true.
And do not hold such high hopes for their life or people in general and really it is really true so then I guess it is easier when you just expect it.

 

[kriss72]

I do not know qhat to do about my life anymore?
Everyone is against me and i cannot get the help I need
I cannot live like this like not only everyone else but God hates me completely.
And like I am tormented and abused everyday particularly on my physically appearance and about women and misogyny and live in fear which is trauma for me.
I am sick of talking to others and having my truth invalidated and am sick of it all
I am sick of everyone and whenever I am alone I feel better because I can be myself and no one will hurt me or I will have to hide my beauty and self away.

I'm sad to hear how you struggle in your everyday life, it is better you share your thoughts here than keep them inside, I wish there were something I could do to help you... I really enjoy your presence in this forum, you are a lovely person and a good thread starter

 

[Judge]

whenever I am alone I feel better because I can be myself and no one will hurt me or I will have to hide my beauty and self away.

A common theme for so many of us. Walking that "tightrope" between socialization and isolation.

Take care...

A winter’s day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window
To the streets below
On a freshly fallen, silent shroud of snow

I am a rock
I am an island

I’ve built walls
A fortress, steep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain
It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain

I am a rock
I am an island

Don’t talk of love
Well, I’ve heard the word before
It’s sleeping in my memory
I won’t disturb the slumber
Of feelings that have died
If I never loved, I never would have cried

I am a rock
I am an island

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me

I am a rock
I am an island

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries

 

[Greening]

I do not know qhat to do about my life anymore?
Everyone is against me and i cannot get the help I need
I cannot live like this like not only everyone else but God hates me completely.
And like I am tormented and abused everyday particularly on my physically appearance and about women and misogyny and live in fear which is trauma for me.
I am sick of talking to others and having my truth invalidated and am sick of it all
I am sick of everyone and whenever I am alone I feel better because I can be myself and no one will hurt me or I will have to hide my beauty and self away.

I don't know you or your life, but my thought is that what you can do with your life is live it. Life is for living.
How, why, with, or without, whom that will be, is up to you.
I also think that it is impossible that "everyone" is against you, because "everyone" is very busy living their lives. They simply have other things to do. So maybe you have some kind of self-esteem issues, you can look at and work on, maybe with a therapist.
And again, "everyone else" do not hate you, for the same reasons as above. I hope, by the way, concerning this idea of a god hating you, that you will somehow get rid of the whole idea of such a being being in existence, because there is no such god. Wouldn't it be a relief to get that out of your thoughts? I am sure it would.
Your way of thinking and writing here indicates, that you suffer from depression. I am not a therapist or anything, but all this painting everything black and hopeless sounds very much like depression, so you could look into that. Talk to your doctor first and tell what is going on with you.
Seek out what helps you, one thing at a time, and be open to the possibility that some help might look different than you thought it should.
I wish you the best with that.