I don't want to grow up!

[Ruby]

I feel overwhelmed about being an adult and teenager. I can't do things such as cooking, driving ect. I feel overwhelmed about having to do these and other things as well, but I still want to be able to work on these things for the sake of being able to do them. I'm not very independent, smart, successful or motivated, but I want to change it. I can't be bothered or don't care about much. I don't know what to do when as a career, because I don't have a passion anymore. I'm upset.

 

[Undiagnosed]

How old are you Ruby? You say you don't have a psssion anymore. Did you have a passion before? what was it?

 

[Ruby]

I'm 15-years-old. I used to have a passion for acting and singing, but that weared off last year. I wanted to be a celebrity and be on television show and movies really badly, but now acting isn't really my thing. I still like singing, but it isn't something I'm very keen on doing anymore. In 2010 and 2011, my passion for acting and singing was so big. I would have done anything to be an actress and singer. Now I don't really care/know what I want to do, but my mum wants me to do creative computer work as a career. I don't mind whether I do that or not. How do I know what I want to do when I grow up?

 

[King_Oni]

How do I know what I want to do when I grow up?

Just by asking yourself this, you probably are ahead of the curve of a lot of people your age. Most people don't know and they'll do something and trudge on. They figure since they went to college for it and are in said field, they'll stick to it.

Ask yourself what you're good at and what you would like to do at some point. You said you had a passion for singing and acting, but are you good at it? Preferring that and being good at it are still two different things, especially if you take in consideration career options and having to compete with other actors and singers.

Honesty I believe that for some 15 years old is way to early to decide what to with the rest of your life. I was in that same predicament. Having obsessions that come and go, alongside having no "normal" interests that warrant a stable career makes it even harder. In the end I drifted from one college or university to the next, just for the sake of not sitting at home as a drop-out but trying to make an effort in getting something done. Lack of interest turned me into a perpetual drop-out.

 

[Mitch]

I know how you feel and had the same thing when I was your age. Actually I also felt that way when I was around 10 years old. People on the spectrum often don't like change much and can feel stressed or overwhelmed thinking about it. I also felt the same way about 'having to drive' (everyone else I knew looked forward to it and I never understood...) going to new schools etc. What might be a good idea is not to concentrate on the big picture to much, but take it one step at a time, year by year. You'll certainly grow into most things at a paste that will suit you best. I've been completely stressed for years about growing up but you will soon discover that some of these changes aren't all that bad and who knows... One day you might actually enjoy driving or cooking! And I agree with King_Oni that most people your age have no idea yet what they want to do. I'm sure one day you'll find something that you are as passionate about as you were with singing and acting.

 

[Bay]

I'm 15-years-old. I used to have a passion for acting and singing, but that weared off last year. I wanted to be a celebrity and be on television show and movies really badly, but now acting isn't really my thing. I still like singing, but it isn't something I'm very keen on doing anymore. In 2010 and 2011, my passion for acting and singing was so big. I would have done anything to be an actress and singer. Now I don't really care/know what I want to do, but my mum wants me to do creative computer work as a career. I don't mind whether I do that or not. How do I know what I want to do when I grow up?

You can continue to change your mind, even as an adult. It's fine, and quite normal.

 

[smith2267]

It is entirely normal for anyone's goals in life to change, especially at your age but even as an adult.
Just keep trying new things.
Sometimes I don't wanna grow up either. And I'm 46.

 

[Undiagnosed]

Sounds like you are doing fine. You are thinking about life. some kids your age I'm sure are still liveing moment to moment. You want to try to get better at things. That's where it starts. I am 44 years old and the boyfeind I recently had who was 38 (non Aspie) had no clue how to cook. He had never used a grill, didn't know what seran wrap was or how to use it etc. And my Dad (non Aspie) will cook like mabey once or twice a year otherwise all his life (as a divorced guy) he would go to his Mom's for supper lol....now his momma is gona he goes to my sisters ...lol.... I also know people (non Aspie) who choose not to drive all their life...Anyway what I'm getting at is there are no rules in how you have to live as an adult. What things you HAVE to do. And as for chooseing a career dont worrie. Most people don't know what they want to do. My son started his first year of colledge this year without knowing what he wanted to do. I told him not to worry about it and just start his classes and keep his mind open along the way for something that 'sparks' his interest. Don't worry too much about growing up , you are still young and still can just be a kid sometimes too. Take your time and enjoy learing the things you want to learn.

 

[Soup]

I agree with everyone else above. Everything you're going through & ruminating about is completely normal & virtually every other teen is in the same boat.

Good news: Growing up doesn't mean giving up being a kid! You can still do most everything you enjoy currently & most everything you loved as a child. No law prevents you from owning crayons, bubble sets, Barbies, silly putty, dolls or anything else. You can watch Sponge Bob Squarepants or whatever cartoons you enjoy & watch Disney films until your eyes go foggy. You can eat gummy bears & make snowmen.

 

[Dragon's Tooth]

I wouldn't worry about what you want to be when you grow up. Maybe take a step back and go "I don't know what career I want right now but I know I want to be a good person and that is something I can be every day". Most people only look at that question and think of pressure to fit into some sort of career option but have you ever just stopped and thought about it as being a state of mind?

Don't stress too much about career. It will come to you. It wasn't until I got into my twenties that I really started to figure out where I wanted to go in life. Even now I'm rediscovering myself after pushing out all the influences in my life that told me who and what I wanted to be.

Maybe think of taking a couple years off after school to chill out and really grow as a person. That way you can say "I don't know now and if I know I'm going to have a couple years to myself to grow before I go to uni or collage then I don't have to pressure myself about a career now". Unless you suddenly decide you want to be a vet or doctor or a celebrity again this is probably a good approach if your suffering so much anxiety. Push out the decision and give yourself some breathing room and in school take some more generic subjects like science, english and maths (always do maths) so that what ever career you do eventually pick you haven't left yourself short.

As for growing up ... its a fact of life. The problems you face as a teenager are nothing compared to the headaches of the real world. But I too never wanted to grow up (I so wish neverland really existed so I could have gone there when I was a teenager). I keep my inner child alive however. I have a huge collection of cartoons for instance. When I switch on my cartoons I can pretend for at least 20 mins that the rent isn't due, the power bill doesn't need to be paid, the house work doesn't need doing etc. I can pretend I'm 5 years old again when the biggest headache I had was how to get mum and dad to buy me that toy I really wanted. I can tell you that when you do become an adult it can be a lot of fun because you can enjoy some of the more interesting things in life that were off limits to you as a child (having money and not having parents to tell you what to do mean that you don't have to ask to go have fun). I have enjoyed being an adult but I would advise not stressing and just enjoying the ride as you fill in a few skill gaps that will make your adult life a heck of a lot easier.

Once you get your driver's licence you will wonder how on earth you ever did without it. And if you can cook that means you won't have to either live on takeouts or instant noodles when you're out on your own. So there are up sides to all of this growing up

 

[LikeyouToMe]

I feel overwhelmed about being an adult and teenager. I can't do things such as cooking, driving ect. I feel overwhelmed about having to do these and other things as well, but I still want to be able to work on these things for the sake of being able to do them. I'm not very independent, smart, successful or motivated, but I want to change it. I can't be bothered or don't care about much. I don't know what to do when as a career, because I don't have a passion anymore. I'm upset.

Ruby, I feel exactly the same :{ You just need to invesitigate into the things you like and try as much as you can to work at them, something will come of it.

 

[Nick12]

just be your self i wish you a happy day if you like sesame street go to youtube type in sesame street we all sing in the same voice