"I Don't Like You"

[Nairobi]

Have to get opinions on this, I've had people say this to my face on a quite a few occasions.
twice when leaving jobs, even had a uncle say it to me over my fathers death bed.
Also numerous times when meeting new people usually with Drink involved.
I usually just respond with "OK" which tends to knock them back a bit as I assume they are looking for an aguement.
I'd love to say it doesnt bother me but it really does and ties into my not trying to make friends or interact with people.
I will say I think anyone who does this is being honest but also incredably rude.

Does this/has this happened to you and if so how do you deal with it or do you understand why?
Thanks for reading.

Have to get opinions on this, I've had people say this to my face on a quite a few occasions.
twice when leaving jobs, even had a uncle say it to me over my fathers death bed.
Also numerous times when meeting new people usually with Drink involved.
I usually just respond with "OK" which tends to knock them back a bit as I assume they are looking for an aguement.
I'd love to say it doesnt bother me but it really does and ties into my not trying to make friends or interact with people.
I will say I think anyone who does this is being honest but also incredably rude.

Does this/has this happened to you and if so how do you deal with it or do you understand why?
Thanks for reading.

Yes, this has been my reality since I was a child. It was very confusing to me, especially since I would sometimes think I was getting along well, but then the person would suddenly snap. It has hard when you know your own family doesn't like you, especially your mother. She loved me very much, but she did not like me. When she was sick in the ICU, she even told the nurses that the rest of my family was nice, but that I was not - so the nurses mocked me for that. In general I have had this happen all too often where I find out in round about ways that people I have made an effort with, or don't have much to do with - will say negative things about me. It seems to even be the first impression I make, when I am just minding my own business, people referring to me as the "mean" person, even if I have never even spoken to them and have not said anything rude - it's just the vibe that people get off of me. Maybe it's years of anxiety and overwhelm and psychological strain and abuse that I weigh me down and are constantly with me, even though I don't realize it? I don't know. It does bother me - it cuts me every time. I am hoping to learn to shake it off. I do my best with people - but it doesn't come even close to good enough for a lot of people. Some people seem more tolerant and don't seem to have an issue - but the way people are, I wouldn't be surprised at all if they spoke differently of me behind my back, based on how I see them do that to others as well. This can really do a whopper on your self esteem, of course.

 

[Danielle Sisco]

Seemed to have had this "fact" thrown in my face since the tender age of 5 in Kindergarten. Started with being rejected in a chaperone group on a field trip to a greenhouse. The "friends" told me that they did not like me and did not want me in their group. Couldn't ask why back then. Years later, after a torment of bullying I asked them why. "You're a weirdo and annoying. We don't like you". Yep, then got that from several adults in my life. They never said those words. I assume too polite to utter them. But their body language, as a therapist pointed out, revealed their opinions on me. Fast forward, I'm 36 and several employees and bosses have told me they didn't like me. A few professors in college asked me to leave their office and only speak to them if I really had a question about the material. Damn, I wanted to have an intelligent and intellectualized conversation like I heard them have all the time with each other. Yep, the weirdo a plus student was no match for the b minus NT students in my cohort. They got the research gigs and assistant credits in science journals. I got nothing, thought worked my tail off getting those straight a's. Did not do me a bit of good. Over the past decade my father has started to do what ever else has done. He changes my topics all the time. Talks over me. Pretends I don't talk. Talks exclusively to my wife. Talks about ME in front of HER when I'm standing right there. All of these behaviors suggest to me that he does not like me. Maybe he loves me for being his progeny, but he certainly does not value me for any friendship or companionship. I'm nothing but a piece of his genetic material that replicated itself to a full size subhuman.

All of this really hurts and it's why I no longer try to make friends. I have a wife who does love and like me but I have to work so incredibly hard to keep her admiration. Seven word sentences, change topics after two sentences, skip around, laugh and play little supportive wife and always look for ways to build up her ginormous ego. I get affection and her doing nice things for me. But she sadly, doesn't know anything about what makes me happy since normal crap does not. I try to beg her to be okay with me taking off for a day to do me things alone. I got the don't be a weirdo response and then a million reasons to take her with me and I won't enjoy it alone etc...... Like, that's not the point. i want to be alone so i can be me for awhile without the judgment doing things that provide energy so I can show up for our date night in a good space to socialize with her on even a subpar level. I never get it unless I take a shower or i go to the store on an errand. Only so many opportunities to be myself when doing a mundane task I actually hate. Doesn't do anything for me but it's all I get.

Why are NT's so freakin' needy?

 

[Suzette]

@Danielle Sisco
I have a deep need to be alone too.
My husband is great and we are quite compatible. But it is only when I am truly alone do I relax fully. So when we met I started getting up an hour earlier and then he decided an hour early sounded great...
So now I get up at 2 am and spend a couple of hours alone. I am not doing anything he can't know about. But I can talk to myself and not have him say "what?"
I can dribble coffee on the counter and not worry that he has seen the mess, even if he has shown me he doesn't care anyway. I can fart, burp or stim...it's all good.

 

[Danielle Sisco]

@Danielle Sisco
I have a deep need to be alone too.
My husband is great and we are quite compatible. But it is only when I am truly alone do I relax fully. So when we met I started getting up an hour earlier and then he decided an hour early sounded great...
So now I get up at 2 am and spend a couple of hours alone. I am not doing anything he can't know about. But I can talk to myself and not have him say "what?"
I can dribble coffee on the counter and not worry that he has seen the mess, even if he has shown me he doesn't care anyway. I can fart, burp or stim...it's all good.

"I can talk to myself" That's the one thing I look forward to when driving to do my errands. Or when I'm mowing the yard and nobody can hear me. I have such a deep need to have a spoken out loud monologue. I also want to identify and classify plants, insects and animals for hours in the meadow, talk out loud while doing it and make weird happy chirping noises......... i have not been able to do that in years!