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Featured "I Don't Like You"

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by WoodWorkingJoel, Feb 5, 2020.

  1. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Active Member

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    Have to get opinions on this, I've had people say this to my face on a quite a few occasions.
    twice when leaving jobs, even had a uncle say it to me over my fathers death bed.
    Also numerous times when meeting new people usually with Drink involved.
    I usually just respond with "OK" which tends to knock them back a bit as I assume they are looking for an aguement.
    I'd love to say it doesnt bother me but it really does and ties into my not trying to make friends or interact with people.
    I will say I think anyone who does this is being honest but also incredably rude.

    Does this/has this happened to you and if so how do you deal with it or do you understand why?
    Thanks for reading.
     
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  2. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member

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    It has happened to me quite a bit growing up. I've found it's the opposite now and quite a few people look up to me. But it wasn't easy. As I've said a few times on this forum, I do my best to hide the tics and traits in public. So the person people claim to like isn't the real me, it's the social mask I've worked for years at building and maintaining. It's rather exhausting at times, which is why I prefer my own company above all else.

    I guess it's best to be true to yourself, but it's a way of living I've yet to become accustomed to. I guess a lot has to do with working in jobs which aren't my real calling. I want to do my art as a living. Instead I'm stuck in office jobs and have to do my best at being functional and useful in a normal workplace.

    It's not easy, and tbh it's probably why I find I dislike people more now than they used to dislike me - because I can't be myself and I guess I wind up resenting myself and those around me for not having the courage to be me.

    There'll always be people who don't like you in life, regardless of what you do. Just do your best to be polite and kind to these people. It might seem wrong to be kind to someone who dislikes you, but it's better to turn something negative into a positive

    Ed
     
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  3. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

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    People have told me they don’t like me and I usually respond with “ok” and shrug it off. Sometimes they come around later. It only bothers me when it’s people that I do like, and in those cases I don’t really know how to deal with it.
     
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  4. Ken S.

    Ken S. Dog Cookie King V.I.P Member

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    My sister had many "boyfriends" (Men she was in the process of using) that told me they didn't like me. Those were the ones that I didn't tell "As soon as you quit lavishing gifts and money on her she will drop you in a heartbeat." :D The ones who were decent got warned. I sat back and watched a couple easily go through five to ten grand on her before they got the boot. It was such an evil plan!
     
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  5. WoodWorkingJoel

    WoodWorkingJoel Active Member

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    Pure evil but I love it :)
     
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  6. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

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    Someone told me this in college. I just shrugged. Later, they came back to me and apologized. Again, my attitude was "whatever." I said it hadn't bothered me, so not to worry about it. He said it bothered him. LOL

    Someone on a forum post told me recently "you're not my friend" which similarly made me shrug. What is this, second grade?
     
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  7. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    I can't recall having anyone say 'I don't like you' directly to me, but I have been called a f***ing weirdo on more than one occasion.

    My response to that - yep, better to be weird than boring.

    I'm well aware that I'm not everyone's favourite person. But do I care? No. :D

    @WoodWorkingJoel - the people who said this to you sound rude.
     
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  8. Peter Jansen

    Peter Jansen Veteran Aspie

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    I am not sure I would warned even the decent ones. It sounds like it would have been a valuable (if expensive) lesson every man ought to learn at some point during his relationships with women. By the time you're my age (40) you really should have gained some valuable experience with women and dodged a few bullets if you know what I'm saying.
     
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  9. Rasputin

    Rasputin ASD / Aspie V.I.P Member

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    I get told I am a weirdo a couple times per week, and that's just from my wife. But then I have 28 years invested in this relationship, including 28 years of acquired assets and liquid investments, so I can tolerate being called a weirdo to avoid divesting everything.

    When I was younger (in high school and college) when I was really weird, people more or less just avoided me. Now some of those same people have sought me out for help in resolving their problems. Over time, I have demonstrated that although eccentric I think logically and use good judgment. Instead of holding a grudge, I take time to help these people.

    At my 45th high school reunion, I looked on average 20 years younger than my classmates, and everyone wanted to know me. Some admitted going through12 years of school with me without knowing me, to which I told them I had also shut them out. So we talked, and amazingly I made some new friends.
     
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  10. Peter Jansen

    Peter Jansen Veteran Aspie

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    No one has ever called me a weirdo to my face but I am very paranoid about being perceived as one.
     
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  11. Ken S.

    Ken S. Dog Cookie King V.I.P Member

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    Weirdo is my preferred pronoun. :D
     
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  12. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    If my husband called me a weirdo, his status would swiftly change - to Ex Husband.


    Weird = Quirky.

    Quirky is good.

    Boring not good.

    And Bland ………. way worse than Boring :)

    Never be afraid to be different.
     
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  13. Rasputin

    Rasputin ASD / Aspie V.I.P Member

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    I have been called worse. Doesn't really bother me too much. I embrace my weirdness.
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2020
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  14. Rasputin

    Rasputin ASD / Aspie V.I.P Member

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    I updated my original comment. Considering we have accumulated a lot in assets and would have to divest those assets should we ever split, I can tolerate being called names. It's sort of an advantage to being able to detach emotionally, and not necessarily a bad thing despite what my psychiatrist says.
     
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  15. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    Have you ever heard of 'sunk cost fallacy' in a relationship?

    It's pretty sad to read your post @Rasputin


    https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/anxiety-files/201409/letting-go-sunk-costs
     
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  16. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    You can't please all the people all the time. If one person likes you on the planet, 100% success then.
    Another interesting fact, some of the people who were radically ahead of their time didn't get any recognition until years later. Artists, actors, writers......
    NT's spend alot of their time being liked, fitting in, getting the most friends. True spectrum peeps kinda go the opposite direction if you ask me. I have yet to read somebody's post of -omg- l have 30 friends on social media, now if l could get 5 more at this site.
     
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  17. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

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    Batwolf doesn't care evildoers!!
    My ninja training has served me well in avoiding these people. It has happened in the past. When it did i would think. " WOW! You actually acknowledge i exist!" Mood improved there after.
     
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  18. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    Social media - where the sheep follow each other using words that don't exist in the Oxford dictionary :D:D:D

    And they say I'm a weirdo!
     
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  19. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes, I've been told that but never do they give the reason. I just always made sure they were aware that I didn't care. A co-worker came up to me one night and said, "I really don't like you." It kind of took me by surprise (still didn't care, though) so I just said with tone, "Guess I won't sleep tonight" (We worked nights so I wouldn't be sleeping - therefore no sleep lost). But things got worse with her - when it started interfering with my patient care I didn't have a choice but to do something. Some nights it'd be just me and her being the only 2 nurses working on that floor and she was behaving childish and literally 'not speaking' to me. When the lab called with a critical lab on one of my patients and she just left a note on my med cart that I didn't see until near the end of my shift - it became a problem. No, she needed to maybe speak to me long enough to tell me that.

    Anyway, if someone is crass enough to say they don't like you to your face, they're probably too crass for me to like them, so I really wouldn't care.
     
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  20. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I've had people say they hate me and I have no idea why! I typically conclude they're in love with me.
     
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