I Am Not Understood...

[Mis-fit]

the rule seems to be everybody can be offensive but if I try to defend myself I will be punished

I am so sorry that somehow what I said offended you. I didn't write it to offend. I have a lot of trouble with communication and sometimes it doesn't come out right, like leaving a "Yes" answer to the poll off. I have a very complex mind that a lot of times I don't even understand, but I have had to manage and get by this way. But I am deeply sorry and apologize for doing so.
Bob

 

[Mis-fit]

I have found one person who does understand me at my deepest level and that does feel pretty great, because she has never said anything that hurts me, even if she corrects my thinking process.

Took many year's to find such a person and just sad she is in her 70's now.

I am so happy for you. That is great! I know I wish I knew someone who never said anything to hurt me : ) For sure!!

If you don't mind letting me know, where did you get the testing for the score in your signature?

 

[Streetwise]

I am so sorry that somehow what I said offended you. I didn't write it to offend. I have a lot of trouble with communication and sometimes it doesn't come out right, like leaving a "Yes" answer to the poll off. I have a very complex mind that a lot of times I don't even understand, but I have had to manage and get by this way. But I am deeply sorry and apologize for doing so.
Bob

Not you you didn't offend me I was trying to describe what happens to me if I try to defend myself in general any time in the past present or future

 

[Mis-fit]

Not you you didn't offend me I was trying to describe what happens to me if I try to defend myself in general any time in the past present or future

Shweew. Okay, thank you for explaining that. I try not to offend. The world, at least the US has become to where some people are very disrespectful, and even sometimes for no reason at all. I know what you mean.

 

[Streetwise]

Shweew. Okay, thank you for explaining that. I try not to offend. The world, at least the US has become to where some people are very disrespectful, and even sometimes for no reason at all. I know what you mean.

It's at the point where there are now four or five people groups who are to blame for all evil

 

[Suzanne]

If you don't mind letting me know, where did you get the testing for the score in your signature?

I did it some time ago, so not quite sure of the process now, but I went to: aspie quiz ( have to check that name though, because it does not seem quite right. And, after taking the quiz, I could copy and paste it on here under the signature.

Ironically, when I was formally being tested, I did the same quiz with the specialist lol

 

[Loren]

Your post touched me so. It brought tears to my eyes. I'm not crying, just watered up really good : ) It seems that you actually do understand where I'm coming from with this. Not that other's don't. And certainly not that their pain of not being understood is not important. We all have suffered from this apparently, even a lot of NT's suffer from feeling or being isolated as a human being.

I do believe you understand where I am coming from. You hit the nail on the head as they say. Bingo!

I so hope that my future opens up for me and brings more people into my life like you. I don't know what you have, see, perceive, how or what you believe, what your made of, but I can honestly say for the first time in my life... I relate, on a deep level.

My self acceptance, self care, and self love has rescued me from so much pain. I really do think the problem might be in my inability to communicate to others what exactly I am made of. I know what I want to say, what I am made of and how I feel, I am just at a loss to explain or express it, which then how can anyone understand me... But you heard me... Thank you!

I am glad to know that my response made you feel so deeply understood. I know how profound that can feel/be. It seems that we may possess the same level of sensitivity, and, perhaps this could be the sort of trait you might look for in others, going forward, in terms of connecting with, or making friends with those whom would understand you, at the deepest level.

With regard to the last paragraph of your reply; I, often, experience exactly what you have described.

-All the best to you

 

[Mis-fit]

Thank you so much Loren,

I know it sounds silly, being understood about not being understood, but this is a deep area for me. Isolation is the worst thing any human can, would or could have ever endured. It left it's mark on me, I'll put it that way.

Thank you again. Your ability to understand this helps me tremendously. I didn't expect anyone to understand, really, but it seems you understand, totally.

May the very best come your way as well.

 

[Mis-fit]

I did it some time ago, so not quite sure of the process now, but I went to: aspie quiz ( have to check that name though, because it does not seem quite right. And, after taking the quiz, I could copy and paste it on here under the signature.

Ironically, when I was formally being tested, I did the same quiz with the specialist lol

Hi Suzanne,

Is it this one:

Autism tests | Embrace Autism

 

[Mis-fit]

It's at the point where there are now four or five people groups who are to blame for all evil

Yes, I know what you mean.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I definitely wasn’t understood at all in high school. I had a severe bullying problem and difficulty learning certain things and it never really was suggested that I might actually have Asperger’s. Only in the one paper written about me to see if I needed learning support was it suggested but the doctor who conducted the test didn’t even do the job correctly and or even suggest more testing be done to make sure. The test was done before my sophomore year and I wasn’t even officially diagnosed until the second month of my senior year.

 

[22222]

Lol - do I fully understand myself?

I'm not good at all with filtering or hiding so how I present is how I am. I've found some people like that - they don't have to worry if I have another side to me or something hidden. So I think I am probably easy to get to know.

On the deepest level...not totally sure what that means. Am I able to surprise myself - on a rare occasion. Can I sometimes surprise other people - on a rare occasion.

 

[Telepath John]

Hello Bob,

Not being understood can be frustrating. When I was 10-11 I was unable to explain something to my mom and I realized that most can not follow my thinking and my reasoning. I recall in my early professional life being told that I do not know what I am talking about. Later that same person said, we do not know what you are talking about.

Those on the ASD spectrum think differently than those who are strictly linear thinkers. Over the years I have made the effort to translate my impressions in ways that the less insightful are able to comprehend. I have had success in doing this at some discussion forums. When I answer questions now some of the members say "What John said" in their replies.

Some of my insights have always been divinely inspired. So that is different than just thinking differently. However if any of us make the effort to appreciate where those we speak to have their minds at, then presenting our thoughts to them in ways they can comprehend, should help.

John

 

[Mis-fit]

Hi John,

I do understand what you are saying, for sure. I agree that I do not think the way NT's do. Not at all in fact. I don't even know if I am on the same wave length. lol If NT's are talking on FM, I am talking on a CB, I wish that were funny, but it's true. Its like the way people look just tells me "I don't know what the heck this guy is talking about or even what he said." It is a major problem for me. I don't know how to communicate in FM, I didn't know for sure I was on the spectrum until a few months ago. I found a new therapist who should be able to help me translate my thoughts to NT's. I see her on the 16th, so God Help Me, she should help.

I totally know what you mean about your mom not being able to understand you at 10-11. I am having people who cannot understand my train of thought, my logic seems to be foreign to most of the people I meet. I do believe, however, with training and trying to socialize again, especially in here, I will find more people who understand me as I am, and then I will be able to translate to NT's much better. You should see some of the looks I get, lol. It is comical now, but not when I didn't know what was happening or why.

Thank you!
Bob

 

[Mis-fit]

Lol - do I fully understand myself?

I'm not good at all with filtering or hiding so how I present is how I am. I've found some people like that - they don't have to worry if I have another side to me or something hidden. So I think I am probably easy to get to know.

On the deepest level...not totally sure what that means. Am I able to surprise myself - on a rare occasion. Can I sometimes surprise other people - on a rare occasion.

What I mean by the deepest level is when you don't have to explain why you just said what you just said, almost ever, and if you do need to clarify it, you get halfway through your explanation and they say, "Oh yeah, I see what you mean." I see people getting along well. One of the replies in here reminded me I had a friend from 1st grade to age 21. He died then, but he and I could look at each other and immediately know what the other was thinking. We never quarreled, never had an argument, never had anything like a big disagreement because we were on the same wavelength. I guess that is why I knew I didn't have that now, nor ever since his death. I do, now, however, believe it is possible to find someone like that again, and if I stop allowing myself to get hurt by being misunderstood everywhere I go, and try meeting new people, I will find someone I get along with, like that again.

I guess what I mean is I miss the closeness of having a best friend. And I need to stop hurting my own feelings when people don't understand me. Cause it happens all the time.

 

[Mis-fit]

I definitely wasn’t understood at all in high school. I had a severe bullying problem and difficulty learning certain things and it never really was suggested that I might actually have Asperger’s. Only in the one paper written about me to see if I needed learning support was it suggested but the doctor who conducted the test didn’t even do the job correctly and or even suggest more testing be done to make sure. The test was done before my sophomore year and I wasn’t even officially diagnosed until the second month of my senior year.

Boy did I get bullied in school. Every year, every grade. Even into college. When I was growing up, no one even knew what Asperger's was! I just found out a few months ago, digging deeper into it.

I'm sorry you had to go through the bullying. But, I am glad you're getting the help you need now. I have had my share of incompetent drs too. That God for the good ones, but the bad ones can really cause more trouble than they are worth!

Good luck!

 

[Mis-fit]

Understood? Definitely not.

I'm well aware that I'm a confusing ball of weirdness to pretty much everyone around me.

I feel like that a lot too. It's like I think differently, I feel differently, I perceive things others don't, and if that makes me weird, that is okay by me : ) I would rather be weird than one of them!

 

[Suzette]

My self acceptance, self care, and self love has rescued me from so much pain. I really do think the problem might be in my inability to communicate to others what exactly I am made of. I know what I want to say, what I am made of and how I feel, I am just at a loss to explain or express it, which then how can anyone understand me...

About 15 years ago I was just on the edge of killing myself. I got lucky and had a few epiphanies that led me to very similar thoughts as you describe. Self accepance is powerful! And with that acceptance I found greater connection to others even if I can not "perfectly" understand them. I hope you experience that too. It is a precious gift.

 

[Matthias]

I am not understood now, and have NEVER been understood by anyone other than me on the deepest level.

I am just wondering how many people with Autism/Asperger's have the same problem...

I think most people with depression, anxiety disorders, personality disorders, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and other similar conditions feel the same way. It's just difficult for people who haven't had those conditions to understand what it feels like to have them.

Do you understand non-autistic people on the deepest level? If you've been autistic since you were 2 or 3 years old, it's difficult to understand people who aren't autistic.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

I was walking around a neighborhood in a small town on Christmas morning in the snow, there were trees decorated in windows and decorations on houses and all that. Every business was closed it was quiet, like spooky. I felt like I was behind the scenes in a stage production or something.

I dont agree that isolation is the worst thing really, as I have been on the outside looking in for as long as I can remember. I never wondered about it really. Is it choice or being set apart or discrimination? No clue.

You are not alone. Not anymore. I hope you find healing and acceptance here many have. I. My personal life I just found out that a dear friend believes in shape changing secret lizard men. She seems so normal on the surface. I think I am a modern day Moses for crazy people, or something.