I am an extroverted Aspie in isolation

[Metalhead]

I moved to an area with limited public transportation service. And I am the only single man I know in my 12 step circles. All my local friends are busy with their partners on the weekends. I feel isolated.

I have a massive library of vinyl, movies and games, and pretty much nobody to share it all with.

My life feels pointless currently. I have my job, I have my solitude, I really do not have much else, and my sponsor is telling me I need to learn how to be comfortable being in isolation.

 

[Thinx]

Why do you need to be isolated? Maybe you need a friend who's unattached and has a car? Or, to get taxis or lifts home after events. Being an extrovert, means you will not feel great if there are no social opportunities.

 

[Misery]

It's something you might just have to deal with, to a point.

Adults have busy daily lives, in most cases. It can be very hard for friends to meet up, even when there isnt a pandemic going on. And the pandemic now makes it not only harder, but in plenty of cases rather dangerous.

That being said though, you do know there are alternatives... right? The internet exists for many reasons, and one of those is certainly to facilitate easier connections.

If you only try one route towards accomplishing something over and over again without it working, and dont try other things, well... you arent going to get what you're after. You gotta be adaptable.

Get yourself a camera/mic or whatever (I dont do video chats, I dont know how that works) and meet people online.

Heck, talk with people on here. It's part of what this forum is for...

 

[watersprite]

It sounds trite, but volunteer in something you like or at least don’t dislike, where you’ll meet people your age.
Local running clubs often ask for volunteers for helping out at races.
That’s my only idea atm.

 

[unperson]

I thought your job was shaky? get a new jawb, maybe you'll meet some new people.

It's a couplesy world once you get over 25, just being single can seem very isolating.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

With how you're changing your life, and making great choices, I wouldn't be surprised if the women around you in your life started noticing. Pretty soon you might have a girlfriend, and hanging out with other couples.

 

[Metalhead]

With how you're changing your life, and making great choices, I wouldn't be surprised if the women around you in your life started noticing. Pretty soon you might have a girlfriend, and hanging out with other couples.

I think I am the last guy on this forum who would want a girlfriend.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I think I am the last guy on this forum who would want a girlfriend.

ohhhhhhhhh got it

 

[Thinx]

A boyfriend. There's some great guys out there. Maybe volunteer at a LGBTQ facility? That would be interesting and useful in any case. You could train as a counsellor, I think you'd do well at that.

 

[Totallysteff]

I moved to an area with limited public transportation service. And I am the only single man I know in my 12 step circles. All my local friends are busy with their partners on the weekends. I feel isolated.

I have a massive library of vinyl, movies and games, and pretty much nobody to share it all with.

My life feels pointless currently. I have my job, I have my solitude, I really do not have much else, and my sponsor is telling me I need to learn how to be comfortable being in isolation.

I truly resonate with this post. Sobriety on its own can be very isolating, but add in the other stuff and it can feel unbearable. Luckily for all of us most uncomfortable situations don’t necessarily last that long. Your sponsor is likely correct, it is time to lean into it. So that you’ll be prepared for your extroverted ways when the time is right. Sometimes we are forced into resting, and recharging. Thanks for sharing your post.

 

[Metalhead]

I truly resonate with this post. Sobriety on its own can be very isolating, but add in the other stuff and it can feel unbearable. Luckily for all of us most uncomfortable situations don’t necessarily last that long. Your sponsor is likely correct, it is time to lean into it. So that you’ll be prepared for your extroverted ways when the time is right. Sometimes we are forced into resting, and recharging. Thanks for sharing your post.

Yeah, I really miss the days before COVID when I had a variety of people hanging at my place a few times a week, mainly playing Xbox and watching movies while eating my cooking. I liked being a great host to my friends, even if I had them chip in a few dollars here and there for dinner ingredients once in a while. I also miss face-to-face 12-step meetings. And face-to-face therapy sessions. And training at the gym. And going to the cinema on weekends when I lived in an area that had bus service on those days. And live theatre and live music. And checking out books at the library. And sitting back in a dark bar watching the people around me while sipping on a cold brew and munching on a few wings.

COVID screwed all of that up big time. I want to make an extremely profane anti-COVID statement to end this post, but I don't want to be moderated here again, so I shall refrain from doing just that.