Jana Delaney
Active Member
I can relate to what you have described and have experienced it in a relationship with an aspie male. It is avoidant behaviour and is indicative of emotional suppression; i.e. suppressing feelings which are uncomfortable in order to avoid them. It is a learned behaviour which is learned early in childhood through having one's emotions invalidated. If you try explaining this to him, and (gently and calmly) explaining that his avoidance is a form of defense mechanism, he can perhaps try to rectify it. Say that you will be patient and will try to help him gradually acknowledge and validate his uncomfortable or negative emotions and perhaps, slowly, he will begin to open up more and be more emotionally literate. Also, and this is something I have said a few times to people in this forum, give him the book 'Letting Go: The Pathway To Surrender' by David Hawkins. Although it definitely requires persistence, it can help transform and dissolve negative emotions, if a person is just willing to acknowledge and be present with those feelings to begin with.
