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How to get in a relationship when you do not like group events?

B

Brian39WV

Member
Hello, my name is Brian. I am 38 and live in the United States. I will be blunt. Group activities and social events are just not for me. I am not really able to handle them at all anymore. That is ok. I do not miss them. My one problem is my biggest goal in life is to be in a relationship someday.

I guess my question is whether it is possible or not for someone like me to get into a romantic relationship even though I only like hanging out with people in a one-on-one situation. I am just not built for group events.

The only way I would ever meet a potential date is either online or on a dating app so that part is not an issue. I guess I am just hoping there are women out there who will be ok with me not being able to do group events.
 
Brian39WV said:
Hello, my name is Brian. I am 38 and live in the United States. I will be blunt. Group activities and social events are just not for me. I am not really able to handle them at all anymore. That is ok. I do not miss them. My one problem is my biggest goal in life is to be in a relationship someday.

I guess my question is whether it is possible or not for someone like me to get into a romantic relationship even though I only like hanging out with people in a one-on-one situation. I am just not built for group events.

The only way I would ever meet a potential date is either online or on a dating app so that part is not an issue. I guess I am just hoping there are women out there who will be ok with me not being able to do group events.
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Oh it's certainly possible to date even if you don't like social activities. It does mean though that the pool of folks that would be a good fit for you will be reduced. Honestly though if you are up front about it from the start and you are patient you'll at the very least be able to find dates though the apps. I've also found that folks in general our age, late 30's/40's are calming down in life and don't want to go out and do group activities. More interested in the nest they've built.
 
JayLapointe said:
Oh it's certainly possible to date even if you don't like social activities. It does mean though that the pool of folks that would be a good fit for you will be reduced. Honestly though if you are up front about it from the start and you are patient you'll at the very least be able to find dates though the apps. I've also found that folks in general our age, late 30's/40's are calming down in life and don't want to go out and do group activities. More interested in the nest they've built.
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Thanks, I guess here I am looking for someone on here or online, or on dating apps. I am just looking for someone who wants to get to know me and wants to let me get to know them. I really hope I can get the chance to start chatting with someone.
 
Advice - Discussing other topics on other types of threads would help people see whether you and themselves seem to have potential for being compatible or not. Common interests, passions and hobbies and also common world views are significant factors in deciding whether to date someone or not.
 
I don't think a lack of group activity would be an issue--at least not that I forsee. I suppose down the line it could be challenging if they want you to meet their family, co-workers, friends, or anything. Having kids might also be a relevant topic, but probably not on the first date.
 
Brian39WV said:
Thanks, I guess here I am looking for someone on here or online, or on dating apps. I am just looking for someone who wants to get to know me and wants to let me get to know them. I really hope I can get the chance to start chatting with someone.
Click to expand...
FayetheADHDsquirrel said:
Advice - Discussing other topics on other types of threads would help people see whether you and themselves seem to have potential for being compatible or not. Common interests, passions and hobbies and also common world views are significant factors in deciding whether to date someone or not.
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(Not knowing what skills you do or do not yet have, I'll give general advice.) I agree with the advice above.

Dating is a little like hunting: you only get pursued if someone notices you and you've caught their interest.

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In hunting, obviously, you don't want to be pursued, but in dating you do want to be pursued at least about half of the time.


And even though we're not in the Victorian era anymore, many of the rituals are still very similar.
1766694485144.webp

If you come off subtly, you're more likely to succeed.







Finally, there's a musical that I was going to refer you to. (I can't remember the name of it. It might have been "once upon a mattress." Since I can't remember it, I'll just give the resolution.)
The fairy godmother tells the man courting the princess that when he had decided to make sure that a magic spell deferred to whatever the princess wanted, that he had discovered the key to a happy relationship; basically equality, respect and agency.

If you haven't worked on those skills in non-romantic relationships, I would strongly suggest developing those skills somewhere.
 
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