Not always. It depends on the society, and the individual people and families in question. There are a lot of variables that determine whether or not it is an issue.
It's cultural for one thing, and generational and regional and personal and also can involve socioeconomic class, whether or not adults (autistic or NT or whatever) of any age live with their parents or not.
It's also worth pointing out that past a certain age, some grown children live with their parents because
the adult child is the caregiver -- is taking care of one or both parents, or helping with that caregiving.
My first relationship ever I was 19. My boyfriend was 30. (
I am male and pansexual -- bisexual if that is a more familiar and understandable word to anyone reading...I have dated or been otherwise intimately involved with men and women [and people of other genders/sexes]. And: No, it was not exploitation, with this 30-year-old boyfriend - although I have been exploited just not by the guy I mention...)
I lived at home with my mother at the time, and this was not a big deal at all. It would have been a problem if my mother hated him or if he hated her, perhaps, but they liked each other just fine.
Boyfriend lived with a roommate, and actually his roommate was a lot more intrusive/nosy, and generally annoying than my mother.
It was fine with him that I lived a home, and fine with me that he lived with a roommate, because neither my mother nor his roommate were home all the time, and at my house the walls were well-insulated and my mother was not a prude and did not know nor ask about our time with my door closed -- she did not consider it her business what I did in my bedroom on the other side of the house with a romantic partner. My boyfriend's roommate on the other hand was not um...comfortable... to be around.
My other relationships, except for the last one, I always lived with roommates. It was never an issue. We all minded our own business when romantic partners or one-night intimate guests stayed over. I had earplugs for when sound travelled through walls and I suspect everyone else did, too, or just didn't care.
If I were to date someone again, I wouldn't care if they lived with their family just because they lived with their family. I don't assume anything about a person from that fact alone.... to me it's a bit ridiculous to do so.
Many of my cousins lived at home with their parents longer than I did, and dated while living at home -- female and male cousins, most older than me. Multiple relationships.
Privacy can definitely be an issue, if you live at home though -- and not just for intimate activities if you choose to engage in any or all such activities before marriage (
I did, I judge nobody -- this is just a nod to people who don't, for the sake of inclusivity as well as because abstaining from such activities may change the equation such that privacy isn't as big of an issue for all the reasons one might assume it would be) -- Privacy can also just be an issue for how you live your lives and having one on one time. But it can be just as much an issue if you live with roommates, as many, many adults of varying ages do out of pure financial necessity -- they might live alone if they could, but the reality is that in many places many people can't, not even when they earn good money in well-respected careers -- because of housing markets and inflation and the cost of education when your parents cannot pay for it and when saving up for tuition from very low wage jobs before going to school to earn qualifications is not a realistic or ideal option for many.
@Brian39WV I am not a woman but I have dated women, and am related to women and friends with women and I tell you with certainty:
Whether or not your living with your parents will matter to someone -- or your living with roommates (
family are basically roommates if you are a grown adult not under guardianship, and if you have sane parents/siblings/other relatives who recognize your autonomy as an adult -- esp if you have your own income [benefits or job, either way] and contribute to the household both financially and otherwise) -- whether that matters really depends on the individual woman considering you as a romantic partner; Their cultural and socioeconomic background, their critical thinking (ie what assumptions they will or will not make about you based on where you live), their values, what they are looking for in any romantic partner.
Who you are as a person and having life goals and values in common matters most to anyone not looking to exploit you, and people of all genders have individual preferences in terms of romantic-partner selection -- you just have to find someone you're compatible with.
Trying to change yourself or your life just to get a date is not a great way to approach dating, imo -- if you want to change something do it for yourself, do it because it matters to you, not just to impress others . I'm not saying you shouldn't be flexible about behaviour or habits, or about sacrificing or striving for better for someone you fall in love with, but ultimately it's better to be with someone who loves you as you are and vice versa.
Don't forget: Plenty of women also live with family as adults, for all kinds of reasons.
There are truly no rules that apply to literally everyone. There is too much diversity in how people live, in culture, in financial means, in ability, in values.
That said, when you live with family (or roommates) you may be seen as not-romantic-partner-worthy by more people than if you don't; Simply because those who don't care if you live with family or roommates probably also don't care if you live alone -- but the same can't be said for those who have a problem with you still living with your family (or roommates) and/or who make assumptions about that. But is the goal to be attractive to as many women as you possibly can be, or is the goal to find a woman with whom you are compatible in terms of your lifestyle, your goals, your values, your perspectives, and with whom you share mutual attraction?
And have you thought at all about this:
What are
your standards?
(e.g. One of your standards could be, if you wanted, that any woman you would date has to be okay with the fact you live with your parents? Acceptance and expectations should exist on both sides -- one person shouldn't exist and mould themselves to be whatever the other person dictates...that's not healthy, in my opinion, and is not real love.)
